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Past Opinion Articles Article for the week of 7/31/08 Xphile’s Tapes XXIII: Oh, So Now You want to Believe! By Grey Xphile Oh how the tables have turned. All it takes is one X-Files movie that doesn’t suck and doesn’t reek of desperation (because let’s face it David Duchoveny is doing quite well for himself these days), an admission by someone with a PhD and a full head of hair that aliens are in contact with a select few members of the population and a marginal increase in UFO oriented tourism during a time of financial crisis and all of a sudden I’m not sounding so nuts anymore. Okay, the X-Files movie was a bit of a stretch, let’s not dwell on that and move on to the more serious stuff. What really hurts is the fact that as soon as he made the announcement that doctor was discredited on not only everything he said, but also all his work, he even had his frequent flyer miles docked! This is the sort of treatment that has driven me underground, forced me to live a less than normal life that only servers to further marginalise me beginning a vicious cycle or pain and torment. So of course it honks me off even more when it’s UFO tourism that makes this all the more mainstream. Like I said, time of economic crisis anything that earns money is an attention grabber and before you know it everyone is in on the act. Anything to make a buck you lot, really. It’s more than just Roswell, which never had aliens, that was a cover up for a massive tequila and fried chicken bender Truman went on, now there are tours of the best sites to see UFOs, historical CIA shakedown and cover up points. You’ll all believe that the moon landing happened and see falsification theories as just plain nuts but if someone’s willing to pay $35 to hear a story about how a bank was built in two days to cover-up a small scale alien breakdown and tyre change (not an actual tyre but a piece of, uh, you get the idea, surely) then it’s all fine and good and everyone takes it seriously. So now you turn to the guy who’s heard it all and has hard, verifiable facts, evidence and locations, backed up by easily copied tapes, and injection mould resellable evidence, like that alien Girl Scout uniform I found in the middle of a crater in Paraguay! Hell even some of you want me to tell you if this is actually safe or if it’s just ticking off the aliens to the point where they’ll wipe us out just to stop the flash photography whenever they pass by. You want me to sing like a bird and tell you everything I know? Well tough! “Tell me, Grey, tell me what the aliens are going to do so I know if we’re going to be safe or not and is it okay to sell these ‘an alien probed me and all I got was this lousy t-shirt’ t-shirts?” all the girls are saying to me. Well, going to be saying to me. And this time I’ll be the one refusing. This is going to be sweet. |
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