Past Opinion Articles

Article for the week of 6/21/07

Confessions of a Dislocated Texan

I’ve never felt so welcomed in all my life

By, Paul Mann (editor and punny guy)

It’s nice to know that there are still people out there to lend a helping hand. When I left the great driving adventure of Texas I was a bit concerned that things might not fall into place. Well, I was actually worried a bit longer than that. Ok, I was worried the moment I decided to go to North Carolina. I just wanted to make sure I could trust people so close to water. (Not much of that to go around back home)
So, the wife and I packed our bags and decided we’d look for another Barney Fife, since he was getting boring in the state of New Mexico. With my degree well earned and only a minor eternity to wait for the actual piece of paper; we nervously crossed the required number of state borders. Once we arrived I was pleased with the reception received for a graduate and a half. We were given a temporary place to live, food, cool weather, a hippy turned organ player and free stuff to clutter the dwelling of our initial hosts. With all these good times I was all too comfortable to feel even more welcomed.
While we’ve been bunking with a most generous family I’ve come to remind myself of the joys of trying to find a place to call home. It’s an everlasting jubilation to be able to spend day after day exploring the fine rental companies in our nearby area. Why my wife and I have been so blessed to find places that require us to have several thousand dollars in hand or a job that could rent three separate units at the same time. It just happens that I’m related to some really rich relative and that will open his or her bank account whenever we’re in need. If that lovable blood buddy could just remind of their name, address and phone number we’ll move into our modest living quarters in no time.
My wife certainly has jumped for joy since she gets to work in the ever expanding world of retail again. Why for only several hours out of her day she’ll be able to once again embrace the idea of supporting someone else’s pocketbook. Just slap that brand name on her shirt and Mrs. Mann will bow down to the best of naggers and rushed shoppers who think it’s her fault for anything that could possibly go wrong. Heck, if she gets bored there she might just dance for tips that might just buy us a pair of socks.
During these hardly trying times I remember how easy it is for honest people to get a break these days. It makes me pine for those times I’d have to fight with a local bank or credit card company to start off my history when a bankrupt neighbor got the best deals by just checking their mailbox. I look back and smile on the easy periods where I could get a bottom feeder job because I lacked the experience to ask if someone if they wanted paper or plastic. I never complain when someone sneaking over the border gets free health coverage because I enjoy not be able to have it so much. Gee golly I feel better and better about my nation each day.
So here I am in the great state of North Carolina. In time I’ll settle into an area where the pirates became bankers and where I can get all the seafood I want without making a day long trip. I ready to welcome you into my life if you wish to make me feel welcome. Who knows, maybe NC and I will make quite a pair. It can’t be the strangest partnership that’s ever been forged. At least we won’t be sold to Michael Jackson like the Beatles.