Past Opinion Articles
Article for the week of 2/21/07
The Dilemma of Fuzzy Dice
Fuzzy dice. They hang on your rear view mirror to show just how awesome you are. For who are those but someone truly cool having two cubes with pink fuzz and dots in their car?
No, I am not sure if I am serious about that statement or not either.
While there is something inherently funny about the fuzzy dice, this is
mainly because they are inherently rather un-cool. Which makes them cool.
It is an age old dilemma, how un-cool does something have to get in order
to get a sort of cool factor? Fuzzy dice might be the measurement of this
thing, the ultimate balance if you will. Because yes, they are quite un-cool,
but they are un-cool in a harmless way that says “we are fuzzy dice. We
are supposed to be here in a vain attempt to look awesome”, which, somehow,
makes them cool. It is quite impossible for a pair of ornaments to change
the image of your car, but they can enhance it. They can turn your beat
down rusty old thing, and say “yes, it is a beat down rusty old hunk of
junk like the Millennium Falcon, but like the Millennium Falcon, this
thing has class. Look at the dice, man, the dice!” They can show that
you do not take everything the most seriously, and that, quite frankly,
is cool. Not extremely cool, but cool nevertheless. Your beat down old
hunk of junk is still a beat down old hunk of junk, but now it is a beat
down hunk of junk (should I add those words in some more for good measure?
Probably not) with a sense of self-irony, something everyone needs a bit
of. Your car is now no more just that rusty thing in the parking lot,
it is now that rusty thing that you make do with, and give fuzzy gifts,
in order to make it at least a bit more comical and enjoyable. So go ahead,
use the fuzzy dice wisely, for the fact is that used correctly, they are
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