Past Opinion Articles

Article for the week of 12/12/06

What's wrong with holiday greeting cards today: There's no ham!

By, Puns McKenna

So we all remember those lovely warm greeting cards we used to get, right? You know the ones with all that lovely, inviting food on it? Well whatever happened to those greeting cards? I'll tell you. Political correctness! What? Don't believe me? Well, let me point out a few things…

First of all the number one complaint today is people don't eat healthy enough. And we all KNOW that Christmas ham is unhealthy for you. It clogs the arteries with fats and gives you high cholesterol, right? Or how about those nice, tasty yams? All that starch and sugar can lead to diabetes. And for anyone with a sweet tooth, think of all those pies… Rhubarb, Apple, Pecan, Pumpkin. And no pie would be complete without whipped cream on top, right?

Well not according to those PC folks that are trying to tell us all how to live. Apparently the mere sight of all those delicious items make a person want to go right out and eat em. And we can't have people getting fat over Christmas, can we? So they've taken all the food off our greeting cards. And what do they replace them with? Overly commercialized visions of Santa and his reindeer.

What's wrong with Santa and his reindeer? Nothing, per se. Santa is a nice jolly old man that has brought joy to millions. But I mean really. Just how many different images of Santa do you have see before you just get sick of seeing his cheerful mug? Personally, I think they should put images of Santa eating a nice Christmas dinner on the cards instead of all the pictures of his sleigh. I mean there's only one model of Santa's sleigh and it's getting kinda old.

Maybe we should design a card with a souped up, hot-rod version of Santa's sleigh. You know, trick it out with flames and glittering red paint. Think that would sell more greeting cards? I don't know about you, but I don't go for the gimmicks. I prefer the good old-fashioned cards that promote family time. And nothing says family time like a nice Christmas dinner.

So leave the "Santa Gimmick" out of the holidays, and greet a friend or neighbor with a cornucopia of food, warmth and love. Happy Holidays.