Past Opinion Articles

Article for the week of 2/13/06

Straight from the Swede

The ups and downs of French Toast

By, Cozmic

French toast. The pinnacle of white bread. Mostly because the French seem to like their white things. I mean, they have the best white bread, the most lovingly maintained and well used white flags. Too bad toast is the one thing to easiest get burnt during cooking. And, what more, untoasted it tastes nothing but dry and disgusting. It's also hopeless to tie to a stick and use as a flag. But I bet those French bastards thought of that when they designed it! Only the French can surrender! Mostly because everyone else wins instead.
But in all seriousness, French toast is great. You can eat it with jam, you can eat it with ham, you can make crummy rhymes, and you can throw it at people. Especially if you've set your toaster a bit too high and end up with an uneatable, bread-slice shaped piece of coal, and realize your toaster is too slow for you to get another piece before you have to leave for school, forcing you to go hungry all day because the school lunch is terrible!
Not to mention how unhealthy white bread is, lacking important things as fibres and the darker colour non white bread has. In short, toast is terrible and ruins your life, one day at a time. There can be no love for the French toast. I suspect the French try and conquer the world one loaf of bread at a time. One sweet, yummy, toasted loaf of bread at a time..






 Really Pathetic Productions 2005