Past Opinion Articles
Article for the week of 8/29/05
Sleaze Test Sweeping Society
By, Grey News
A recent 300-question survey judging the level of sleaze in a person
has become quite popular, with many companies and government departments
quietly applying them to their employees.
Initially this test was one of many floating around the Internet, popping
up on somewhat random computers and providing many hours of entertainment
as those who thought themselves suitably dodgy in nature, dreaming of
“Being Gene Simmons on stage,” find that they are nothing more than sweet
lambs compared to those who may have ever “Tried to be Gene Simmons with
Truly this was the first genuinely interesting Internet Survey since the
one about Britany Spears’ breasts.
It was believed that if this sort of thing ever turned up on any boss’
computer it would be the end of it and some other computer fad would take
And for the most part that did happen. Those few managers and supervisors
with senses of humours managed to see the funny side, let their employees
and underlings have a chuckle, and then quietly removed it from all the
computers a week or two later.
Generally they just grumpily wiped the survey and waited for the next
unwanted piece of flotsam to come along.
Then some manager did something utterly unexpected, they had an idea.
Instead of letting the employees have their fun or complaining or picking
their noses someone decided to use this bit of Internet humour seriously.
Now, albeit on a small scale, this test is being used to judge entire
groups of people. So far there have been no actions that could be considered
discriminatory, the majority of supervisors and team leaders have simply
used it to group together, or even separate, depending on the strategy,
people of similar dispositions.
Most companies and departments have cited this as nothing out of the ordinary,
simply another test, however unorthodox, to determine the most appropriate
groupings of people for efficiency.
All the same watchdog groups remain vigilant, ever ready to swoop in should
employees be discriminated against, as there seems an almost certain chance
for abuse of this test.
For now there is an increased sense of paranoia in the workplace, the
sense that everyone will soon know everyone else’s darkest personal secrets,
however it is only a slight rise in existing tensions and not worthy of
concern as yet.
Since this innovation was theoretically rewarded (sorry but the world
of management is murky at best) several other low level managerial wannabes
are trying to use other Internet tests to boost their own careers.
So far no one has managed to duplicate the previous success, the use of
Internet surveys to determine perfect pets, plants, Reality TV series
for viewing, Reality TV series for participating and Hobbit name have
yet to have the same impact on the working environment.