Last week's News
News article for the week of 5/24/05.
Episode III Brainwashing Less Than Successful
By, Grey News
Writer, director and part time dictator wannabe George Lucas has attempted
much with the new Star Wars movie, Revenge of the Sith. While early estimates
are that he has succeeded in many areas, providing an excellent piece
of entertainment, there are those who remain disappointed with the work.
Principally disappointed are those who were seeking a vehicle to brainwash
moviegoers for various reasons.
The failure is certainly not Lucasí fault entirely. He has attracted large
audiences and his newest movie technology has resulted in subliminal messages
that are fifteen percent harder to detect. The main problem is the lack
of coherence within the messages themselves.
The US government, to whom Lucas owes a debt over the patent of certain
space based laser weaponry, wanted to brainwash audiences into being more
accepting of US military forces in Iraq, consume more oil and to eat less
mayonnaise. The British government, who Lucas owes for stealing many of
their best actors, wanted much the same, acceptance of military forces
in Iraq, less mayonnaise and a general glossing over of anything scandalous
towards the Royal Family. Not exactly the same but not entirely different.
However the French Government wanted to brainwash everyone into forgetting
that they surrender constantly, German influences wanted to convince people
that Germans, and to a lesser extent Greeks, were all cuddly and fluffy
happy people. Nothing yet mutually exclusive, though this is more than
most films can handle in terms of subtle mind tweaking.
On the other hand the Canadians wanted clowns in Iraq (real clowns, not
just politicians from around the world), and an increased consumption
of mayonnaise, especially with fries. Of all of the influences Lucas had
the most to fear from the Canadians since it was they who provided him
with the plans for the Death Star in the first place, and were more than
willing for giant flying insects to take the credit.
Now the problems began.
Nevertheless credit must be given to George Lucas who merrily wove these
subliminal messages into his movie, letting each audience member remain
vulnerable to whichever message most appealed. Under these conditions
none of the governments could really complain.
Then the Italians got involved.
The fractured Italian government failed to put forth an entirely coherent
plan for their brainwashing efforts. Rome wanted less oil consumption,
more beef consumption, a boycott against Burger King, dingos in maternity
wards, Iraq in the military and mayonnaise in every hat.
Equally unfortunate was that Lucas owed many favours to many Italians
after some unpleasantness involving, surprisingly enough, hats.
The result is a movie that pleases audiences as a movie, though leaves
everyone somewhat unsettled on a more subliminal level. The now clashing
messages are often garbled and useless, serving no ones needs in the end
and worse yet leaving people to make up their own minds.
As yet no one has taken any action, aside from the French surrendering
and a general hissy fit coming from other Western governments.