Last week's News
News article for the week of 7/31/08.
Obama and McCain in No Holds Barred Battle of Wits
By Grey Politics
As the next great US election enters the pipeline the two confirmed candidates have begun to square off in preparation for the main match.
Barak Obama’s whirlwind tour or the Middle East and Europe are giving him international credentials and some Foreign Policy chop.
John McCain continues to build a base of support in small communities across the continental US and has offered rapprochement to Hawaii and Alaska, the freak states, by saying that every family has a twisted cousin somewhere in its basement and he’s more than happy for that cousin to see the sun through a window on occasion.
Homespun homilies of confusion aside this sort of serious groundwork is a good indicator of the sort of battle ahead, with two hardcore campaigners preparing to go head to head without nailing themselves to too many policies.
The next phase is surely a battle of wits as each tries to trip his opponent up in public without tripping over their own tongues and public appearances in the process.
Sadly, while it is being paraded in every form of media known to humanity, this is still a battle of wits between two politicians. A pair of individuals who, if they had actual wit or intelligence, would not be politicians.
McCain has some advantage, Bushisms springing from their source give him natural cover even as it has heightened attention towards these malapropisms.
Not that Obama lacks in counter strike potential. With most of Hollywood Democratically inclined he has a vast pool of writers and comedians who can have zingers, counterrazes and one-liners delivered in minutes, with some signs that they are gearing up to deliver constant streams if need be.
McCain has some additional assistance if he wants, Vice President Dick Cheney has offered whatever assistance he can against “That wascawy Democwat!” even donning his favourite hunting gear and hat, posting “Democwat hunting season” posters in forests wherever he traditionally hunts.
So far Cheney has managed to shoot his mouth off, and the mouth of George W. Bush after a particularly one sided hunting season poster battle. No Democrats have been hurt so far.
Reportedly John McCain is privately wondering just what he’s done to deserve these looney tune political allies.
Barak Obama fares no better. With their personal battle aside the Obama-Clinton rift is closing for the sake of party unity.
Like I said, these are all politicians, the only difference is the colour of the ties.
Unfortunately the lightning fast President elect needs only poke out his tongue and run off while his predecessor straps himself to a rocket in vain attempt to give chase.
Apparently this is a variation of some sort of intern training technique Bill Clinton picked up during his days in office, substituting an intern for the running President and a rocket for Viagra.
While four more years of this sort of comedy sounds tiring at least it will keep political pundits in work. And that, if nothing else, has to be the punch line.
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