Last week's News
News article for the week of 4/12/07.
Hulk Hogan to go after Osama
Terrence Gene Bollea, better known as Hulk Hogan, has decided to prove
to the world that he knows best once and for all. The multiple-championship
former wrestler in the bandana says he's doing this as a favor to the
world for putting up with wrestling, the Hulk's album and yet another
Rocky movie. And he really does believe he can do it.
Osama has not been available for comment, cementing the belief that he is hiding somewhere. He might even have gone to space, in which case Hogan would have to find the prop from his old movie Suburban Commando, where he played an interstellar hero forced to crash-land on Earth. And it is not like Hogan is himself unused to fighting criminals even on the planet, the show Thunder in paradise showed us all that Hulk Hogan works perfectly fine as a ex-navy SEAL turned mercenary while hunting down criminals. Word is Hogan even plans to use the boat from the show to track down Osama on the seas, should it be necessary. Personally, I am of the opinion that what Hogan really needs is a good tank, but Mr. T has already agreed to hook him up with one built from a lawn-mover, a snow shovel and leftover parts from a German Jag tiger should the need arise.
Unfortunately, however, Mr. T himself has said he will not follow Hulk Hogan in his hunt, citing reasons of "not being a sucka." Whether the Hulk truly needs his once partner is anyone's guess, but it certainly couldn't hurt., seeing as how T brings all that gold-chain protection with him, as well as the skills to turn almost anything that rolls into something considerably more lethal that rolls and throwing people really far.
Whether Hogan will find Osama or not remains to be seen, but this certainly seems a bit more planned out than the regular attention-grabbing we are used to.
Really Pathetic Productions 1997-2007© Menu Bar By, Albatross