Last week's News

News article for the week of 1/22/06.


Straight from the Swede

It's a whole new year..

By, Cozmic

Well, happy new year. By now most Swedes have started to get over the massive hangover that's commonly known as New Year's Day, and things are returning to normal. And by normal I mean most people only have a hangover every other weekend or so, and all the good shows on TV might soon start showing reruns again.
Yes, the gunpowder from countless rockets are settling, taxes for driving cars into Stockholm are being hated by everyone except the politicians, and school has started again with a vengeance.
Yes, our beloved elected local morons decided to save the environment the only way they could. By taxing people for driving cars. Mostly because it's the only thing they can do. Well, that, and waste money on setting the system up and promising to take it down after six months if everyone was still against the idea. Trust me, we Swedes can hold a grudge for six months. It's one of those things we're good at. Well, that, hockey, and getting drunk and playing with fireworks on New years, although nobody did something bright like shoot himself in the eye this time around. That I know of anyway, but morons are everywhere.
We've already been mad for over a year at how last year started, when Sweden was divided into three groups of people. Those who lost loved ones in the tsunami in Asia, those lucky enough not to, and the government officials who wondered what a tsunami was and where you could find Thailand on a map. Hurray for the ministry of foreign affairs! And I thought I was bad at geography..
Yes, this year doesn't promise to be much better in terms of governmental intellect, but otherwise, we have all of nothing to look forward to this year. As usual there will be nothing to do, nothing interesting will happen, and if it does, odds are it won't be in this country!
Of course, we here at RPP will be more than ready to report wackiness from every other part of the world, and maybe some alternate realities too, as the hole in the space-time continuum near the local Dairy Queen (located maybe a million miles away from Sweden) is getting bigger!










 Really Pathetic Productions 2005