Last week's News
News article for the week of 10/8/05.
Attempt Belated Public Relations Blitz
By, Grey News
It’s a rare day when Frankenstein, two Werewolves, a Vampire and a Mummy
sit down at a table. When a group like this does gather together and announce
a press conference you can bet they get a good turn out from the media
The purpose was hardly surprising, they were attempting to renovate the
tarnished image of supernatural beings. This is hardly the first such
attempt, though it is the first truly multicultural attempt that lasted
more than seven minutes. The participants managed to stave off the infamous
Vampire/Werewolf animosity, the Mummy propensity to want to style Frankenstein’s
hair and the inability of ghosts (oh yes they were there, though you only
know it because the Mummy kept sneezing) to appear on any recording medium
and give a relatively successful press conference.
Relatively. No one really listened to them when they said that all they
wanted was to live in peace with humans, as opposed to drinking our blood,
eating our flesh, using us for spare parts, consuming our fluids or using
humans or parts there of in any sort of ritual or spell.
Right guys, pull the other one.
However this level of cooperation was unprecedented and seemed sincere,
meaning that if it is genuine the first steps may have been taken.
The likelihood of this is limited, however, as a part of the conference
was clearly a whitewash piece, with all participants trying to argue that
garlic, silver and Twinkies do not have their traditional effects.
Further damaging credibility was the absence of Zombies and Trolls. Fairies
already enjoy a positive reputation so their presence was never expected.
Analysts claim that to include Zombies may have been more damaging that
the statement “Vampires enjoy a good tan”.
Speculation is that this is due in part to the Zombies more successful
independent attempt to normalize their relations with humans. With Zombie
Elvis and Zombie George Harrison spearheading a successful publicity program
hooking up with monsters that are remain unpopular could be a major setback.
Others believe that it is because Zombies remain relatively unpopular
that a separate, united front would be more successful.
Most likely the fact that Zombies are unpopular with their fellow supernaturals
as well as humans led to deliberate exclusion.
It is too early to say, though if press conference is an indication of
things to come the new, still unnamed group, may well succeed in its goals.
As disgusting and disturbing as it may be a picture of Frankenstein hugging
a Werewolf and a Vampire kissing a Mummy this may be an indication of
things to come.
A true test may be the major East Coast/West Coast feud which has dragged
Mummies and Werewolves on to each side. If any coalition of monsters were
to bring peace to the warring sides then their reputation would be set.
Unfortunately the Vampires hinted that settling the Palestinian/Israeli
conflict would be a greater priority, showing once again that monsters
are settling on easier options as usual.