Last week's News

News article for the week of 9/28/05.


International Election Season Produces Bumper Crop
By, Grey Politics

Worldwide people have exercised their democratic rights to overthrow standing leaders or give them permission to screw around for years more.
From Japan to Germany, New Zealand to the Albuquerque Bowling League voters have taken part in what has been a stunning few months for voting.
The result has been some monster politicians that many anglers are writing home about. The number of ultra conservative Japanese finding themselves sitting in the halls of power is stunning, with many hoping to bag a few before the next election, striking early enough that their catch is firm yet sizable.
While few truly radical parties have made any headway there has been a swing in southern nations to support conservative politicians over liberals, while the northern hemisphere, particularly Europe, has shown an opposite approach.
The fact of the matter is that New Zealand and Australia have found themselves about one and a half years behind Europe in terms of style. The green and browns that presently dominate fashion and interior design in these nations are more suitable for conservative options, while liberal politicians, especially those of the more colorful Italian and Nordic nations, suite the wilder colors without risk of clashing.
Additionally the yield from voter turn out is encouraging, harsh storms were expected to have an impact, resulting in bitter and bruised produce. Never the less voters remained bountiful and bouncy, expressing the hope that their efforts will be rewarded with a heady brew.
In those parts of the world not presently in the afterglow or foredread of elections there is envy mixed with relief. Envy that they cannot trade theirs in for upgraded or more favorable models, relief that they do not have to put up with the advertising.
Suggestions that voting be conducted Reality TV style have been safely dismissed as New Zealand proved definitively that politicians are not in the least bit photogenic without the help of Photoshop or one of the three plastic surgeons that are confident that they can make Michael Jackson look like a human being again.
As for the future collaborations seem to be the theme of the moment, with German parties edging slowly towards coalition, with the initial jam party going down well, and the projected first album keenly anticipated by critics and cohorts alike.
Consumers are still tentatively enthused, the prospect of new flavors and sensations exciting some, however everyone remembers the disaster of New Coke and Jimmy Carter, and the utter spectacle that was Pepsi Presents Margaret Thatcher.
While this is all very exciting it is expected that the next round of elections in these same nations will be far less interested due to fewer and fewer new features found in the final product.
If the new Nintendo Virtual Politicians prove popular this may change, however for the moment there is little expected of interest until aliens invade, take over the world and turn it into a Space Slug ranch.






 Really Pathetic Productions 2005