Past Entertainment Articles.
Article for the week of 5/6/08
Pop Hottie to play in NBA Playoffs!
By, Puns McKenna
Recently Paula Abdul, one of the nation’s hottest pop singers decided she wanted to get back into basketball. Ms. Abdul said that she hasn’t played basketball since high school, but she was really looking forward to busting some moves on the court again.
Many people had no idea just how into sports the pop star was as a kid. A few people think that she’s just a dancer, but this reporter has discovered her secret. She keeps her body in shape so that she can continue doing all those exotic dances she does, by moonlighting basketball. She’s been known to play with such basketball greats as Kobe Bryant, LeBron James, Dwight Howard, Chris Paul, and Joe Johnson.
NBA Officials are keeping their opinions to themselves. Though the fans are not. Many are all for Ms. Abdul playing in the playoffs. One of those instances where sex appeal pays off I guess. So, Ms. Abdul has decided she wants to play. What are the officials of the NBA going to do? Are they going to let her in, or keep her out?
Speculation is that they are going to deny her. There are plenty of women’s basketball teams that she could join. And Women’s Basketball does have playoffs of their own. Maybe what she’s up to isn’t trying to prove that she’s good at basketball, but more to make the basketball teams integrated. You kind of like anti-segregation tactics for baseball?
Could she be the next Rosa Parks of basketball? Now that’s a creepy thought. Paula Abdul riding the buss with the Men’s basketball teams to protest the differentiation between men and women in basketball. I can see her now. She’ll be on the stage at some performance of hers in a pair of basketball shorts and a jersey that says “Intersexual Basketball! Men and women play the same!”
More of a Women’s Lib type thing I think. Not really sure what it would accomplish either. I mean we already have women in basketball. Perhaps she needs to keep herself out of the basketball arena? I mean I know that stars have this need to fight for a cause, but are they always good causes? Are they causes that really need to be taken up?
While she may be very good at basketball. While she may be a very talented dancer and singer. Is she really going to be good enough at basketball? Is she really going to have what it takes to perform up to the standards that we expect from our NBA players? I doubt it. I mean, yeah she looks good on stage, but the basketball court is hardly the stage is it? What’s she going to do? One of her little spin moves and dunk the basketball from half court? Maybe she’ll get a slap shot that will make her look as good as Kareem Abdul-Jabar? Or she’ll score two points with a shot and two more for her little spastic giddy dance of joy? One can only wonder.
Iron Man may just help us forget Downey’s downers
By, Ezra Mann (Editor and Pun Hero)
Ah Robert Downey Jr., that lovable stumbling scamp of Hollywood gone usual seems to be back to once again try his luck at the silver screen. I could take this opportunity to remind everyone of his failings, but that would waste space while going against the whole we forgive you complicated actors for the thousandth time policy.
No, today I’m here to say that I’m kinda proud of the man and his latest offering to the theater. Being a superhero fan geek (though not on the Star Trek obsession level) I felt obligated to give this film a shot and thankfully I did not leave the Cineplex feeling robbed. Why, I was actually surprised at the level of clever satire woven into a movie that was based partially in a worn torn region without making me want to cry like a Charlton Heston move. (Apes bless his soul)
The story centers on arrogant billionaire Tony Stark (Downey Jr.), who is the budding C.E.O of a weapons manufacturing business. Mr. Stark is thrust into life changing circumstances that show him that his company might not be in the right business and decides to use his genius to fight evil instead.
Though it is set a great deal in Afghanistan, Marvel chose a wise route away from a hippy “war is unnecessary and the route of all badness” and instead focuses on the fact that greedy corporations and stupid government all too often screw the rest of us over. The villains aren’t who you think they are right away which adds for a nice twist on what could have been an otherwise cut and paste adventure. Throw in decent actors like Jeff Bridges (who plays Obadiah Stane), Gwyneth Paltrow (Virginia 'Pepper' Potts) and Terrence Howard (Jim Rhodes) and the balance is pretty well set.
I must admit though that I never read the Iron Man comic books, so while I’ll leave the accurate portrayal debate up to the 30-year-old basement masters, I will say as a movie I liked it. Sure, the portrayal of most women as objects could have been toned down a bit, but the overall presentation was worth the ticket.
I went into the theater expecting a throwdown good versus evil hash of another comic book and left with a feeling of satisfaction. I even felt like my sense of humor wasn’t insulted with plenty of dark references to how screwy things will stay if we don’t take a stand. Heck, at first I had to beg my gal to see it with me and she ended up being pleasantly surprised.
So, in short, I would recommend it to the super hero fan crowd and the open minded movie crowd. The adult themes were mild and the story was well thought out, which makes it appropriate for most age groups.
Sure, Downey’s character was arrogant, but not in such a way you felt you had to leave your seat. I’ll most likely not buy it on DVD brand new, but I’ll keep an eye out for it when it reaches the used movies for sale rack. For a good time at the theater with plenty of well placed laughs, I give Iron Man four missile launches out of five.
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