Past Entertainment Articles.

Article for the week of 3/9/07

By, Cozmic

TV-companies are fighting tooth, hand and, in the case of Fox, claw over the rights to release all the news of the death of Anna-Nicole Smith on DVD, saying it is the biggest thing to happen to TV since American Idol, or possibly Reality-TV.
“We are very excited at the prospect to benefit from someone's death even when it is no longer news, and was never really interesting”, said a network CEO who asked to remain anonymous.
Just how large these profits are supposed to be remains in much speculation, as footage of the dead model being carried out on a stretcher is, by itself, worth almost half a million dollars. Not to mention all the horribly poor drama surrounding the fact that nobody seems to know who's the father of the daughter Daniellynn, said to occupy a large part of the DVD.
Other material on the DVD is supposed to be the best from the court footage, including the crying judge when he realised this, deciding things in a media circus that means basically nothing, is what he chose to do in life, and supposedly even some of the actual news that happened while the whole debacle was going on, as well as a short documentary on who Anna-Nicole Smith was, and interviews with a bunch of random white-trash folks who for some reason went to the Bahamas just to see the grave.
The still nameless CEO pointed out that this was of course a great opportunity to make money on something not even remotely interesting, if they managed to acquire the overly expensive rights to the whole deal.
Whether or not the Anna-Nicole DVD, sometimes referred to as the “Ding dong the witch is dead compilation”, will become a huge hit or a major fiasco remains to be seen, but this much is certain: it will at least be better than the Tom & Jerry movie with all the voices.