Past Entertainment Articles.
Article for the week of 9/20/06
Rock Star Supernova Band Legal
By, Grey Entertainment
No sooner has the Reality TV series ended than the legal issues begin.
Such is showbiz.
No one expected them to have the intestinal fortitude to do it, however
with legal action all the rage world wide the first band to be named Supernova,
possessing a longer if somewhat quieter career, forbids the newly formed
“super group” from performing under it’s assumed name, a crippling blow
considering the group has barely even begun to do anything than wallow
in their own ego.
As one backer put it “We thought the name was appropriate and the other
guys could be bought off with a cheap bribe.”
The failure of the bribe (a complete list of names and numbers of actresses
who want to date musicians) and the beginning of legal action has put
a temporary halt on the resurgent career of Whosit, Whatisname, Tommy
Lee and Somethingorother Rossi.
Now they face bigger threats.
A supernova within the Andromeda galaxy has sent word that for the last
nineteen millennia it has been using the moniker “Rock Star”, with Supernova
being a surname.
Consequently this celestial body has seen fit to launch an independent
“Rock Star was content to let other bands be known as Supernova on the
basis that his musical career has been minimal and his chosen name remained
unique to him,” said one lawyer acting for the stellar entity.
Unfortunately Somethingorother Rossi, as befits a lead singer, ignorantly
opened his big mouth and said that if Rock Star Supernova had a problem
he should come here and take it up with the band face to face rather than
hiding behind a distance of untold light years.
Given that Rock Star Supernova is a giant ball of burning gas with a gravity
greater than anything else in the solar system the prospect of a face
off with the musical group could be disastrous to the human race.
Consequently several organisations have stated that they will destroy
the band before Rock Star Supernova makes a move.
Iran in particular has been vocal in hunting down and killing like animals
every last member of the band.
The United States, ever suspicious of Iran, has reported that it will
not allow it’s citizens to be targeted by a foreign power in such a manner,
and has set up a task force specifically tailored to destroy the group
within two months, regardless of actions of any celestial entity, and
with the distinct possibility of allowing the public to vote on who gets
“sanctioned with extreme prejudice” first.
This would explain why Pamela Anderson has enlisted in the United States
Army and is practicing her tank driving skills while listening to “Flight
of the Valkyries”.
Seeking to make some good of the situation the production team behind
the television show “Rock Star: Supernova” is going to televise the fate
of the musicians, whatever it may be, even going as far as working with
the US government, the Iranian government or the FOX Network, known for
it’s association with enormous gaseous entities.
“If the opportunity arises we will include a fan voting session,” said
one source close to the producers. Though everyone is quick to admit that
Pamela Anderson has first dibs on taking down Tommy Lee no matter what
anyone else says.