Past Entertainment Articles.

Article for the week of 7/25/06


Britney's Baby Blues

By, Puns McKenna

Britney Spears is pregnant again. Everyone knows that right? Sure we do. But what nobody has known till now is that Britney's new baby is half-human, half-alien. That's right! Britney Spears is the latest in a long line of women who can claim that, "A Space Alien impregnated me!" Many believed that her heartthrob, Kevin Federline is the father, but sources reveal today that Britney's newest baby is in fact the product of an Alien visitation.

An intelligent alien race from outside our solar system heard the reports of Britney and Kevin's first baby Sean being injured on multiple occasions, and took pity on the young beautiful starlet. He visited her sometime in the middle of spring and performed carnal acts of alien lust with the young woman, which resulted in her being impregnated. When asked why he did it, the alien in a secret interview told this reporter that he was: “sorry to see that the beautiful young woman’s first child was not resilient enough.” And because he cared deeply for this woman, he would “gift” her with a more resilient child.

So an alien’s unrequited love for this Hollywood beauty has gifted her with a healthy baby boy, according to reports. Many speculate, however, what this hybrid child will look like. Will he have some odd features that will make him different? Will he be an outcast, or will the masses of humanity accept him for what he is? No one knows for sure.

Britney recently concluded a photo shoot, in which she posed nude for the cover of the Harper’s Bazaar August issue. The common thought in Hollywood is “if you’ve got it, flaunt it.” Well many believe that this photo shoot had a dual purpose. To show that Britney has it, and to show that there is nothing alien about the baby she’s carrying. So I guess we’ll see in the months ahead. Is Britney’s baby all human, or a hybrid? Does the Alien who came forward really love the hot young starlet, or is he just out for publicity. Nobody knows for sure, but one thing’s for certain. In the coming months as Britney’s belly grows, we’ll all get to speculate on whether the baby is like us, or something more.

If Aliens are taking pity on pretty starlets, could they be taking pity on the rest of us? Only time will tell.





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