Past Entertainment Articles.
Article for the week of 3/22/06
Hanson Back On The Attack
By, Grey Entertainment
Hit family oriented band of family members of the same name Hanson (sorry,
that’s what’s in the press release) are on the comeback trail.
Remembered for their hit single “Hmm Bop” the band consisted of three
brothers with identical (at least until all three disagreed on their choice
of stylist and obtained individual hairdresser) hair, playing “their own
style of contemporary feel good pop”.
Though a hit in the mid to late nineties at least a part of their appeal
was the relative youth of all three children. Two were minors at the time
of their fame while the eldest barely crossed that border.
Any tensions were well hidden, the middle son was the lead vocalist and
usually seen as the leader, much to the chagrin of the other brothers.
This was in addition to the normal family squabbles, which were largely
ignored by the media who were looking for any scandal related to sex or
Hanson fame lasted for two years, arguably less as they struggled harder
than most to maintain a viable image. Unfortunately as with McCauley Culkin
these kids did not become cuter with age. Puberty was unkind to all three
as they became homelier and homelier.
Now the Hanson boys have decided to make a comeback. Spurred on by a relative
lack of notable comebacks in the music world (there are only nine in progress
at the moment, while seventeen actors are on the comeback trail) they
have decided that now is to be their time.
There are many factors working against this comeback. Like any other attempt
their previous reputation is a boon and a hindrance. The cheery simplicity
of the Hanson songs have kept them in the public mind at a low level,
not enough to generate new sales yet enough to maintain a small following,
possibly enough to relaunch the careers of these three young men.
Unfortunately the will still be remembered as strangely cute androgynous
teenagers, something none of them qualify as for various reasons we are
not allowed to explore publicly.
Even at the peak of their popularity they were invariably known as “Those
girls”, “Those sissy boys”, “Those hermaphrodites”, “That gender confused
group”, “Them transvestites”, “The junior transsexuals”, “The two girls
and their older brother”, “That girl and her midget aunts”, “The New Novelty
Sandwich from Subway”, “Great with a Glass of OJ in the morning”, “The
Disgusting Novelty Sandwich from Subway”, “Michael Jackson’s New Pet”
and “The MC Hammer of the polka world”.
If Hanson is to make a serious comeback then they will need to shatter
these existing perceptions with something that is either new and exciting
in the world of music, or something so tried and true that people will
buy into it because they can’t tell it apart from the hit of the day.
History shows that the latter always wins out. Damnit.