Past Entertainment Articles.
Article for the week of 8/29/05
MC Hammer Rises From the Grave
By, Grey Entertainment
First it was David Caruso’s career, then it was Elizabeth Taylor’s, then
it was Elizabeth Taylor herself. Now with MC Hammer arisen from the grave
both in terms of career and being a walking, rotting corpse it is official,
resurrection has become the new fad for celebrities.
While those few who moved beyond the fad still care for their pot bellied
pigs and electric mood rings the majority of Hollywood is following the
While MC Hammer’s comeback is something of a miracle the fact that he
is walking around only a week after being hit by a runaway unicycle loaded
with rocks and being pronounced dead is also something of interest.
Doctors are keeping tightlipped about the present comeback king’s physical
resurrection, mentioning something about eleven secret herbs and spices
and enough helium to float the Titanic, the revival of a career that only
six months ago would not have been mentioned in a comedy monologue is
being credited to Sean “Po Dinky” Coombs.
“Po Dinky” as he renamed himself in February, masterminded the comeback
to fit in with the fashion resurrection of parachute pants.
The net result of all these dead things coming back inevitably fueled
the latest Hollywood fad, influencing fashion, music and to a degree movies.
While no one is yet willing to give Shannon Dougherty a chance, Mickey
Rourke and Gary Busey have enjoyed recent successes.
The release of “The Long Dark Hammertime of the Soul”, the comeback album
of MC Hammer, has done well in the charts, leading some to speculate that
Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Bobby Brown or even the New Kids on the Block
may release something new.
The tragic downside to this trend is, as always, in fashion. While designers
have not gone out of their way to promote the new look, termed “Mortician
Vogue” it must be remembered that they similarly did not promote “Heroin
Chic” either, simply taking advantage of the tragedy of others.
Certainly the big label designers have taken advantage of the new look,
which is a mix of gaunt and pale, lacking the subliminal grace of Heroin
Chic and replacing it with woodenness in movement.
Health experts are worried about this phenomenon, for as with Heroin Chic
it may become popular among teenagers who may damage their health attempting
to imitate the look.
More frightening still is the possibility that it will lead to widespread
acceptance of Michael Jackson’s present appearance. Even toy manufacturers
are getting in on the act, though the makers of Barbie dolls claim that
they always planned a mortuary set for Barbie as a part of their “Real
Life Dolls” series.
For all the hype not everyone has managed to profit. Whitney Houston,
the woman who technically pioneered the living dead look is no more accepted
than before. Similarly Chris O’Donnell, for all that he looks like a dead
man, still can’t find a job.
So as the rest of the world braces itself for the onslaught of a fad it
does not want we cling to the one hope that may see us through: That someone,
hopefully Paris Hilton, will manage the dead but not the back again.