Past Entertainment Articles.

Article for the week of 8/13/05

Polka Trends. Yes, Polka
By, Grey Entertainment

As Hollywood enters yet another wasteland period we entertainment commentators and critics are being forced to turn elsewhere for subject matter.
If you’re wondering about why I’m the one talking about polka let’s just say it’s all to do with a really, really short straw.
The utter and absolute lack of any interesting personalities have left me interviewing Tom and Tammy Heffenheimer, the “rebels” of the polka world. Apparently wearing leather jackets and performing anything other than the seventy-nine legally mandated moves in polka, and polkaing with a cat, is enough to get you labeled as a rebel.
Really nice people, but on the whole I’d rather be talking to Denzel Washington, however this giant among actors is presently on a desperate mission to find a film worthy of his time and effort. We can only hope he succeeds.
That the only events of note in the entertainment world are which Jens are marrying which Bens is sad enough, that it has forced me write a commentary on how Betty Albright has dumped former polka partner Will Neighbor in favor of Oliver Grapes goes to show you how much we hope that stories on who Brad Pitt has impregnated lately never catch on.
Similarly while we all wait in eager anticipation to find out color belts Paris Hilton will be using as clothes this is hardly news anymore, leaving me to comment on how low-cut gingham and flannel shirts are beginning to lower the tone of polka everywhere.
Actually that last one was somewhat refreshing.
This does not excuse the dire state of music that has lead to a report on the electric accordion. Pro, con, really not important, and yet more interesting than which rock star has OD’d, which pop princess has descended to trailer trash levels or what bad words Eminem used to shock frightened parents.
Even the latest music videos, where the singers are wearing the legal minimum to still be considered fully clothed do not merit as much attention as the proposed use of two oboes by one player.
Finally the scandals, the scandals have just run out of vigor. No one cares who’s been caught with what drugs, which prostitutes or how many head of cattle across which border. Now we’re all engaged in discussions on just what was revealed with Kitty Ireland’s latest, most daring, high kick.
This is the state of world entertainment. In short, it’s pretty bad, after all Polka is looking very, very good. There is little to recommend what we presently consider entertainment. There are a few new shows for television, one or two movies, it is entirely possible that a new era will dawn after this.
Until then no critic will be going to martini nights in penthouse suites, we will instead be going to potluck gatherings in suburban back yards.
And God help me it feels good.