Past Entertainment Articles.
Article for the week of 6/30/05
Geeks Demand Breeding Rights
By, Grey News
It is a move that has long since been coming, with the ever increasing
pickiness of women everywhere special interest groups of men have formed
in order to get a date.
Though this has long been the situation in high schools around the world
until recently it was contained within the walls of these death traps.
Now adults, grown ups and everyday people have to deal with it all over
Women are not solely to blame, however this may be the nearest that men
around the world get to being right about something, and weíre milking
it for all itís worth.
The issue at hand was first sparked by the actions of a group of geeks
who demanded that laws be passed ensuring that they be allowed to breed,
thus passing on their vital genes, allowing for the continued functioning
of the Internet, comic book shops and the ongoing vitality of the optical
Their demands have not been too taxing, they do not, yet, want annual
sacrifices of virgins, cheerleaders or girls-next-door. At the moment
geeks simply want sole dating rights to women who can tell the difference
between Captain Kirk and Captain Picard, girls that can see past bad hair,
and girls that donít consider science fiction to be a requirement for
entering into a cult.
Women fitting these criteria have not yet voiced a concerted complaint,
though most doubt a relationship with geeks could last past the first
The most striking reaction has been from nerds seeking similar breeding
rights to ensure that their vital skills at mathematics, their support
of the junk food snack market and the continued existence of debunkers
(magician and alien).
Nerds have been a little more discerning, requiring that they be given
sole dating rights to women not afraid of spittle, the few female anime
fans and those pretty girls who secretly go to the library.
Overall the worldwide response from other groups has been minimal. Jocks
are happy as long as their supply of cheerleaders is secure. Similarly
musicians, actors and poseurs care little as long as the groupies and
sycophants remain untouched.
So far there is no advantage in political groups setting in. They have
their eyes on Trophy and Status wives, who will similarly be seeking them
out, securing the continuation of their own fetid genes.
With no one willing to either rock the boat or cave in to the demands
things look set to go on as normal. If turning the entire world into a
high school is anything remotely normal that is.
If however this means that problems are solved by running to the principal
or atomic wedgies then surely itís a change . . . No, wait, that isnít
really a change at all aside from the greater availability of cheerleaders,
probably a great improvement on the state of the world.