"They said WHAT?!"

An anthology of the humorous, crazy, noteworthy and sometimes, ridiculous things that announcers and wrestlers have said on WCW Worldwide.....

From a Paul Heyman's promo (June 16^th, 1990):

"Look, I'm 24 years old, I'm losing my hair, I'm 15 pounds overweight, but I'm the lewdest, crudest, greatest manager in professional wrestling, and my actions are backed up by the toughest and roughest man in professional wrestling, Mean Mark!"

Ric Flair, on himself and the rest of the Horsemen failing to turn up for their scheduled meeting with Jim Herd (June 23^rd, 1990): 

"Jim Herd? Puh-lease! I take orders from one man, and one man only, Tony, and that one man is Ted Turner himself!"

Buddy Landell and Tony Schiavone on commentary (June 30^th, 1990):

Landell: "Ya know Ge.. uh, Tony, I'm so excited to.. erm... be here, I can hardly.. uh talk, y'know Gene?"

Schiavone: "Ha ha ha, you're so excited, you keep forgetting I'm Tony...."

Dutch Mantell and Tony Schiavone on commentary, during Star Blazer's debut match (July 7^th, 1990):

Mantell: "Look at Star Blazer's mask... it's white, red and yellow. I'd assume that represents the starburst. Is he from parts unknown, Tony?"

Schiavone: "I don't know."

Mantell: "Well if he is, that's a very crowded place he's from. I bet he's the mayor of parts unknown...."

Jim Cornette's promo, in which he was raving about the greatness of his Midnight Express team, and yet still managed to get in shots at his arch rival (more in real life than on-screen) Paul E. Dangerously (Paul Heyman) (July 14^th, 1990):

"Ya know, you can see the Midnight Express wrestle all across the world, from Maine to Spain, from L.A. to New York... nah, actually, ya don't wanna go to New York - that reminds me too much of Paul E..... Reminds me of the story of a custody battle of this kid. The judge asked the kid, "Who d'ya wanna live with?', and the kid said "I don't wanna live with my mom, cos she beats me, and I don't wanna live with my dad, cos he beats me... I wanna live with Paul E., cos he can't beat anybody."   

An extract from a great Michael Hayes promo on the Southern Boys (July 21^st, 1990):

"When you were probably playing T-ball, we had three women in the back of a cadillac, going down every back road in Georgia, all over the south, making a name for ourselves! You've a lot to learn boys, a lot to learn...."   

Schiavone and Mantell had this little exchange, which proved that once upon a time, Tony did have some knowledge of wrestling history, and the ability to use it to make smart-ass comments (July 28^th, 1990):

Mantell: "I've lived all over the South. Georgia, Louisiana, Tupelo, Mississippi - "

Schiavone: "You lived in Tupelo? Ever get into a concession stand brawl there?"

Mantell: "No, but I had a fight in a phone-booth one time. Some impatient guy kept banging on the window, so I hit him over the head with the receiver...."

Mantell, talking about Candyman Brad Armstrong (August 4^th, 1990):

Mantell: "He's out there, throwing candy to the little kids. I don't agree with that. That's promoting cavities. He should be throwing toothbrushes to the kids as well...."

Mantell, talking about Bobby Fulton during the Fantastics squash match (August 11^th, 1990):

Mantell: "He could make the tag right now, if he had an arm like an orang-utan... you know, if he had an arm that was ten feet long, Tony...."

Michael Hayes, wearing blue lipstick, eye shadow and liner, delivered this line (August 18^th, 1990):

"A picture's worth a thousand words... are we not the real Southern men?"

Dutch Mantell, on the Nasty Boys each having their own names tattooed on their arms (August 25^th, 1990):

"You see Tony, that might come in handy. If you ever got stopped by a highway patrol man and he asks you for your name, you can simply tell him to 'read my tattoo'...."

Schiavone and Mantell were having a major disagreement about who'd win in a match between Doom and the Rock 'N' Roll Express. At one point, Mantell exclaimed (September 1^st, 1990):

"Tony, I'm not going to sit here and let you treat me like Saddam Hussein...."

Tony Schiavone, during the Rotunda & Horner vs. Death Row & Thor match, remarked (September 8^th, 1990):

"You know, Death Row has appeared on this t.v. show for the past few months now - you'd think that the State Penitentiary would have come to pick him up by now.... nobody stays on 'death row' for this long, surely?"

Dutch Mantell, talking during Luger's match, about how unpopular Lex really is (September 15^th, 1990):

"I  watched Luger at a recent Baltimore autograph session, and the guy signed two autographs in 90 minutes. And one of the two guys didn't want it - Luger chased the poor guy all over downtown Baltimore trying to give it to him!"

Dutch Mantell, talking about Flyin' Brian Pillman during his match (September 22^nd, 1990): 

"He spends 90% of his money on wine, women and song, and the other 10%, he fritters away on rent and groceries".

Dutch Mantell, talking about Terry Taylor during his match (September 29^th, 1990):

"Taylor was in his motel room last night, and there were girls knocking on his room door all night long. Finally he woke up at 7:30am and let the poor girls out".

Dutch Mantell, talking about Z-Man during his match (October 6^th, 1990):

"I heard a rumour that Z-Man has a thing for very ugly women. Just the other night, he took a girl to a dog track in Tampa and three guys tried to bet on her."

Tony Schiavone and Dutch Mantell were having a heated discussion about the Nasty Boys' haircuts, which led to this outburst from Tony to Mantell (October 13^th, 1990):

"When is the last time you had a haircut big fella? And I'm sorry, but the ponchos have got to go. Announcers have to look professional, not like they've just walked off the set of a spaghetti western movie....."

Dutch Mantell, commenting on the Sting-Sid Vicious feud (October 20^th, 1990):

"I have it on good authority that Sting isn't worried about Sid. In fact, at night Sting sleeps like a baby. Yeah, he wakes up every two hours and cries."

Dutch Mantell and Brian Pillman's dialogue (October 27^th, 1990):

Pillman: "Why don't you be a man and face me in the ring, one-on-one?"

Mantell: "Well, you know.... I would but... I've got a lingering injury. Lower lumber pain, an injury dating back to when I fought in Vietnam".

Pillman: "Well, you know what? Why don't you check yourself into a hospital, get medical attention, go see a gynaecologist - do whatever takes, and I'll see you in the ring when you're fit to wrestle."  

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