~ Sleeping through the evening-
Singing dreams inside my head-
I'm heading out-
I've got some ends who say they care-
And they just might-
Run away with you-
If things don't go as planned-
Plannin' big could be a gamble-
I've already rolled the dice ~
*Lance*
This past little while hasn't happened. If I keep telling myself that, maybe it'll start to be true.
Yeah, right.
You know, I never thought that I was that great of a person. I really don't see what not only one, but *two* people can see that there is to love.
This whole thing is so screwed.
I have loved JC since the day I met him, and Justin...well, I've never really thought about Justin like that before. I was always thinking about JC. Either way, this whole thing is going to hurt someone. I still think quitting the group would be the best thing for everyone. Too bad no one else thinks that way.
When JC found me all packed and ready to leave, he persuaded me to stay, and then he told everyone else what I was planning, and I got three more lecture's to add to Josh's. So, to avoid getting severely yelled at, I'm going to have to come up with something else.
I hate that I can't even have a conversation with one of them without the other one either hurrying to jump in or giving the evil eye. I hate that, because it just makes the conversation either die, or extremely uncomfortable.
I don't want to screw up their friendship, which I why I'm trying to...I don't know, if I say delay my decision, that's really not a helping situation, is it?
Yeah, I'm gonna have to come up with something.
What the hell is there?
~ I spit and stutter, stuff and clutter-
Worries in my worried corner-
Maladjusted-
Just un-trusted-
Rusted-
Sometimes brilliant trusted thoughts-
Think I'll stay for a while-
I'm intrigued and I'm-
red as a newborn, white as a corpse ~
The tension level of the group has gone up about a thousand levels since Justin and JC started competing for me. Wow, that sounds like I'm really vein when I say that.
I wish they weren't fighting over me, because not only does it make me feel like I'm wrecking a great friendship, but it also means that I lose whoever I *don't* choose as a friend and then it's going to be very awkward for everyone.
And Chris and Joey are being so cool about this whole thing. They try and stay out of our way, and I appreciate that. I really do, but I can tell that Chris is getting sick of keeping himself busy 24/7.
Maybe I should just get back together with Danielle and show them all.
No, I remember what she was like, so that won't work. Damn.
This is really unfair, it really is. If Justin and JC really love me so much, why are they doing this to me? Why are they making me choose?
It should be an easy choice, it really should. I want to be with Josh, I love Josh, but Justin...Justin gets this kind of...hold over people. I mean, he's got the most charming personality and smile, and he can be so sweet when he wants to be...
No! I am not thinking these things, I don't like Justin in that way. Justin has a vicious, jealous streak the size of the ozone layer...he's blunt sometimes, and he can be rude if he wants to...he has a hair fetish...he has amazing hair...
Shit.
~ I promise not to try not to fuck with your mind-
I promise not to mind if you go your way and I go mine-
I promise not to lie if I'm looking you straight in the eye-
I promise not to try not to let you down ~
