I walked into our bedroom and saw JC sitting on the bed, holding a letter, but he wasn't really looking at it. He was more looking off into space.
May had gone by pretty quickly, with all of us just messing around, being, well... us. It was early June, and I had noticed that JC was gradually drifting away. Not just from me, but from everything. I sat down next to him and put my hand on his knee. "You okay?" I asked. He nodded and handed me the letter. I took a look at it, seeing that it was from his mother. I scanned down the letter, just seeing things about how she was doing, asking JC questions, things like that. It was the last paragraph that caught my eye.
As I started to read it, JC started to say it out loud. "Your father is doing well. I don't think I've ever seen him this happy before. He loves to be out working in the garage. He got this old car at a junkyard and he's going to fix it up really nice. I hope all is well. Tell Lance hello for me. Love, Mom."
I looked at him, could see the pain in his eyes, but I didn't know what to say. He took the letter from my hands and put it back into the envelope before getting up and throwing it away in the trash can.
"Josh-" I started, but he cut me off. "He's at his happiest after he's disowned me, fine. I don't care."
"He didn't disown you," I said, moving over to him.
JC laughed bitterly. "Didn't he Lance? I haven't heard from him since he was down here, and I seem to remember him not accepting me. Or us."
"JC, he's your father. He's going to love you no matter what."
JC turned to me and laughed bitterly again. "You're the one to talk Lance, when was the last time you talked to your mom? Huh?"
As hard as I tried to control my anger, my hurt, I couldn't. "That is completely different from this," I said, my voice low.
JC looked amused. "Oh, how so? Please, enlighten me."
"JC," I said, my voice already losing it's conviction, "I don't want to fight with you."
"No, no, I'm interested to know why you think that your situation is any different from mine?"
I sighed. "Josh, please..."
"Because all I know, Lance, is that our situations are exactly the same, and I am sick and tired of you acting like yours is worse, because it isn't."
And suddenly the anger returned. "Why are you doing this? Why are you picking a fight with me? To make yourself feel better because Roy doesn't want to talk to you?"
JC looked at me, glaring, and I had never seen him so angry with me. "All I know is that my life was perfectly fine until I started dating you."
And then we just looked at each other. I could see the regret in JC's eyes, and I know that he could see the hurt in mine. I expected him to say something, apologize or at least... something. After he didn't, I turned to leave.
"I'm sorry you feel that way," I whispered before I walked out.
*
I still, to this day, don't know why I did it. I'm glad that I did though. After I walked out of the house, I got into my car, and my mind seemed to know where I was going.
I ended up at the airport, and I bought myself a ticket to Maryland. Three hours later, I was standing in front of the Chasez's house. I had realized something, walking out on JC. If he really was going to die in December, he needed to make up with his father, to have his life back before he left this world.
I looked off the to the right and saw that the garage was open, and sure enough, there was Roy, under a rusty old car. I took a deep breath and walked forward, feeling like some higher power was willing me to keep walking.
I stepped into the garage, but since Roy was under the car, he couldn't see me. I waited for a minute, not sure what to do, before I cleared my throat. He came out from under the car and looked at me for a moment. "What are you doing here?" he asked. "Is Joshua with you?"
"No," I said, "he doesn't know I'm here."
"I don't have anything to say to you," Roy told me, and then he rolled back under the car.
"Well I have something I want to say to you," I said, surprised at the strength in my voice.
"Why don't you just leave, Lance?" Roy asked.
"Because, I have to talk to you about JC."
Roy was silent for a moment, before he spoke slowly. "Lance, get off my property or I'll call the police on you."
I stood there for a moment, before I decided I'd take his bait. "No you wont."
Roy rolled back out from under the car, looking at me, and I was shocked at how much I saw JC in his expression.
"Why are you here Lance?" Roy asked, and this time his voice had lost some of it's edge.
"I already told you why. I want to talk about JC."
Roy looked around for a moment, before looking up at me and sighing.
"Fine. Come inside."
*
