We got back to Justin's house almost three hours after we had left without saying a word about what we were doing. I knew that they'd be worried.
Worried happened to be an understatement. Just as soon as I pulled into Justin's driveway, he was running out the door with Joey and Chris right behind him.
"Where the hell did you guys go? We were worried sick about you two. We had no idea what was going on, you two left so fast like that, and Lance was crying. Are you guys okay?" Justin asked, going from angry to worried as he wrapped us both into a hug. Joey and Chris came over too, and soon we were all in this big group hug.
And I started to bawl.
Huge, powerful sobs wracked through my body as I realized that this was something I never thought I'd get the chance to do again. Even something as simple as a group hug couldn't be taken advantage of anymore. I had to cherish every second I had here, because every second counted.
It wasn't `we have our whole lives' anymore. There was no more not knowing what would happen tomorrow, so take advantage of today. I knew what would happen, because I had already lived it. I knew that eventually, I would have to let JC go again, and that was something I knew I wouldn't be able to do. Especially if we became lovers.
"Lance? What's wrong man?" Chris asked, and I could hear the concern in his voice. I felt the arms of my four closest friends, my brothers, around me, and it was enough, just to feel their love and support. I continued to cry, and they didn't ask anymore questions. They were just there for me.
At that moment, it was enough.
I knew, however, that when the time came, no amount of love and comfort would be enough. And that's when I made a promise to myself. I wouldn't think and dread what was coming. I would cherish and enjoy the days I had. The days left with JC.
I wiped my eyes and tried to stand, and the guys moved back, Justin and JC helping me up. I smiled at them and said, "I'm sorry, my mom's in one of her moods again, and she spent a couple hours yelling at me a few days ago."
"Is there anything we can do?" Joey asked, and I smiled. "You're already doing it." I felt bad about lying, especially since my mom didn't get mad that often, but if they would just believe it, I would be okay, and hopefully it would be easier to control my emotions as I got used to where I was, and why I was there.
"So that's why you guys left, because of that?" Chris asked.
"Actually, I think we better go inside and sit down. This wont be that easy to explain," JC said, and I swear that it was the line he used the day he came out to us. We followed JC into the house and we went into the living room, sitting on the couches, all of us looking at JC.
"Apparently, Lance's cousin had a liver disease called Primary Sclerosing Cholangitis, PSC for short. He saw that I was showing some of her symptoms, and he took me to the hospital. Turns out, that I do have the disease. And... I need to step back from the group until they can get rid of it," JC said, looking at all of us. The room was quiet for a long time, and I knew what they had to have been thinking. Probably the same things I was when we found out the first time around.
"So... how are they going to fix you?" Joey asked. JC sighed and looked at his hands. "I need a liver transplant. My doctor, Dr. Danner, put me on the list, and she says because it's not very long, I should be getting it by the end of January. Mid February at the latest. I'm so sorry about having to leave the group guys, I didn't mean to make it hard for everyone."
Justin was the first one to react. He went over to JC and gave him a fierce hug. "Don't worry about it man, just get better, okay? We'll all take a break until you're better, okay?" I saw JC smile, and heard him say, "Thank you guys. Thank you so much." Chris and Joey were over there, hugging JC and somehow I was pulled in as well. It was another group hug, and I savored every moment.
*
"So, your cousin really had... whatever it was that JC said he had?" Justin asked me as he sat down at the table with his glass of water.
"Primary Sclerosing Cholangitis," I said with a small chuckle. I didn't want to lie again, I felt bad enough as it was, but what else was I supposed to do? Say that I came back from our future to watch JC die all over again, that I didn't save his life, just saved him some pain? Yeah, they'd have me committed like that. So I went with the lie. "Yeah, my cousin had it, but she was able to get rid of it."
"That's cool. So, it's good that you were able to catch that JC had it before it was too serious. I didn't know you were Mr. Doctor, Lance," Justin said to me with a grin.
"Yeah, well, when it comes to JC, you know..." I said trailing off, and I wanted to kick myself. I couldn't believe that I had just said that to Justin. I hope he didn't get anything out of it.
"Look who's talking, Lance! There's a reason we're all so protective of you."
I grinned and blushed. Ever since I had gotten really sick back in early 1999, the guys had always been really "mother hen" with me. You'd think they'd do that to Justin, because he's the youngest, but no one ever has to worry about Justin. He's always healthy, and he could kick anyone's ass if he ever needed to.
"Yeah, well... oh shut up!" I said laughing, not being able to come up with a good defense. Justin joined in, and I felt like it was back the way it should've been. The way it was before JC got sick, they way it was before he died. And then I realized that it was back that way. Going back to my own past was going to take some getting used to.
"Well, it sounds like you two are having fun in here," JC said, walking into the kitchen, grinning at us.
"How are you feeling?" I asked. "Fine. The medication that Dr. Danner gave me to take while I wait for my transplant makes me tired, though, and I think I'm gonna hit the sack. I just wanted to say good night."
"Night," me and Justin said at the same time. I turned back around to face Justin, and saw him looking over my shoulder with an odd look on his face. It was then that I heard JC actually leave the kitchen, and I knew they had been doing some silent communication with their eyes.
I was curious, but Justin asked, "So, are there anymore details that we all need to know about JC’s Primary... Colors disease?" I laughed and decided that I was probably just imagining things.
"Well, the details would probably just confuse you anyway, so no, there’s nothing else," I said, grinning, and Justin gave me a mock angry look. That made us both laugh. The laughter and the happiness couldn’t stop the morbid thoughts from entering my mind. I still had a time limit.
I didn’t have forever anymore.
*
