"You know, we could always fool around to pass the time," JC said,
and I had
to smile, despite the situation.
"I’m not doing anything until that hairy assed thing is gone," I
told him.
"Where do you think it is now?" JC asked.
"Maybe you killed it when you threw it off me," I suggested.
"I didn’t throw it that hard. It’s probably just hanging out on a
wall or
something."
I swallowed and said, "Well, I hope so."
*
"Forty-four bottles of beer on the wall, forty-four bottles of
beer..."
I sighed inwardly and snuggled deeper into the crook of JC’s neck.
After
checking the floor on the side of the closet that we were on, JC and
I had
sat down, and he had started singing anything that came to mind.
"Take one down, pass it around, forty-three bottles of beer on the
wall.
Forty-three bottles of beer on the wall, forty-three bottles of beer.
Take
one down, pass it around-"
"Shhh," I said, silencing him. I thought I had heard footsteps coming
towards
the closet.
"Lance, what-"
"Be quiet," I whispered. "Listen."
We both listened, and sure enough, there were two sets of footsteps
headed
our way.
"As soon as I find them, I’m going to ring their necks! Did you see
what they
did to my clothes?" Well, at least we knew one of the voices was
Justin.
"They’ve been gone most of the day, I think they’re just hiding
out
somewhere until the day is over so that no one can do anything to
them.
Either that or they’re hiding out somewhere getting it on," said
the other
person, which was Joey.
"Do you think they -have- had sex yet?" Justin asked, his voice
lowering just
a little bit, and I could feel my face flush.
Joey snorted. "They’re in love with each other, of course they’ve
had sex."
I felt JC’s hand curl around mine and I could tell that he was
smiling,
amused by the conversation our friends were having.
"Yeah, you’re probably right. I don’t think they’re up here,
maybe they’re
outside somewhere."
I could hear their footsteps turning to leave, walking off in the
other
direction.
"No, guys, wait!" I called, pounding on the closet door. "Guys,
we’re in
here!" JC called out.
We waited for a moment, listening for them. "I knew there wasn’t
supposed to
be a combination lock on this door," Joey’s voice came from the
other end of
the door.
"Thank God, get us out of here," JC said. "Are you guys really locked
in
there?" Justin asked, laughter in his voice.
"No Justin, we’re only talking to you because we can be duplicated
by doors,"
I said.
Justin laughed again and said, "How long have you guys been in
there?"
"I dunno, how long have we supposedly been off fooling around?" JC
asked, and
I could hear the smile in his voice.
Joey and Justin were silent for a moment before Justin asked, "Did
you hear
our... uh, conversation?" he asked, his voice sounding a little wary.
"Every word, now get us out of here!" JC exclaimed.
I could hear the doorknob rattling, and I let out a sigh of relief
because we
were finally going to get out of the damn closet.
"Wait," Justin’s voice called out, and the doorknob stopped
shaking. "Why
should we let you guys out? You dyed all my clothes!"
"We dyed your baby blue clothes, Justin," JC told him.
"Then you dyed all his clothes," Joey said, matter-of-factly. "Then
again
Justin, you -did- draw all over that picture Lance gave JC for
Valentine’s
Day."
"You did -what-?!" JC yelled, standing up.
"Calm down, it isn’t the real copy," Justin told him. "And Joey,
have you
seen your head? It’s bright blue from that kool-aid they put in
your
showerhead! We shouldn’t help them."
"Justin, the dye is washable," I offered. "And Joey, the kool-aid
will come
out with a couple more showers. Please, let us out. Besides the fact
that
there’s not a lot of room, Chris conveniently left a tarantula in
here with
us."
They were silent for a moment, and I thought that they were actually
going to
leave us, but then Justin sighed and said, "Fine, we’ll get you
out."
"I can’t get the lock off without knowing the combination," Joey
said.
"Can’t you break it or something?" JC asked, disappointment
creeping into his
voice.
"Maybe you two could kick the door open. Sure, it would break, but
it’s not
like it can’t be fixed," Justin told us.
"What else can we do?" JC asked, turning to me. "Okay," I told him,
agreeing.
Anything to get us out of that damn closet.
"All right, back up, we’re going to try and kick it down," JC
said. "Not that
there’s a lot of room for kicking," I muttered. We made sure we
were facing
the door, and then JC turned to me again. "On the count of three,
okay?
One... two... three!" And we both kicked out as far as we could, both
our
feet connecting with the door simultaneously. I heard the splintering
of wood
and felt the door move a little bit, but it still hadn’t come out
of the
frame yet.
"Again," JC told me. "One... two... three!" This time, the door
popped out of
the frame, and JC and I came tumbling out of the closet.
"Hey," Joey said with a giggle, "JC and Lance came out of the closet!"
"Oh, that was so funny I forgot to laugh," I said dryly.
"Shit, that is one -big- spider," Justin said, looking into the
closet. "You
guys were locked in with that thing?" he asked, turning to us.
JC nodded. "And as soon as I find Chris, I’m going to kill him."
"I can’t believe that thing was on me," I muttered as I got a good
look at
the spider.
"Look," Joey said, and we all turned to look at him. "I know that you
two
don’t want to team up with anyone else, but we all want to get
Chris."
"It’s his fault I didn’t get my cereal this morning," Justin said
with a
pout.
"Yeah, and he pulled that whole thing with Courtney. I called her and
asked
her if she had called to ask me out the other night, and of course,
she
hadn’t, so now she thinks I’m either needy or insane. Or both."
"And he locked you two in that closet with that huge ass spider,"
Justin
said.
I looked over at JC. "Well?"
"I say," JC started, "that Chris is going down."
*
