Title:         "Mulder's Worst Fear"
Author:        Jessie Harris (Agent Leki)
E-mail:        AgentLeki_1013@yahoo.com and
TheDamnBee@juno.com
Rating:        PG
Spoilers:      "Hollywood AD" (minor ones),
"Quagmire," "The Host," "El Mundo Gira,"
"Squeeze/Tooms"
Category:     Post "Hollywood AD"
Content:      Humor, Mulder/Scully Friendship
Archive:      PLEASE ERIKA! :)  Everyone else
please ask and keep my
name and disclaimers attached.
Feedback:     If you don't send it I'll have to
beat you with my pogo
stick! *grin*

Summary:      What if Scully found out Mulder's
worst fear and almost died laughing?

Notes:         This is in reply to the January
fanfic challenge on Church of X.  The story had to
be either a missing scene from "Duane
Barry/Ascention/One Breath" or another episode in
Season 2, or it had to be a fic on a character's
worst fear.  Guess which one I picked? :)

Disclaimer:  Mulder+Scully=Chris Carter.  I only
borrowed them from the
Almighty Surfer Dude! I PROMISE I'll return them
at some point! (I don't know when though... seems
how it seems I've been writing a lot of fanfic
lately!)



Having just got back from their little trip to
California to see the
movie "The Lazarus Bowl," Special Agents Mulder
and Scully couldn't get enough of having fun
together.  Instead of going home to spend the rest
of the beautiful Saturday at home, Mulder found
himself following Scully to the Maryland State
Fair.

"Mulder," Scully said and took a sip of her soda.
"What do you say we
ride the Ferris Wheel?"

Mulder glanced up at the intimidating height of
the ride.  "Uh... I think I'll pass on that one,
Scully, but I'll hold your drink while you ride."
He smiled at her.

Scully quirked an eyebrow at him.  "You're not
afraid of heights are
you?"

"No.  I just don't think the thought of being
suspended in the air a
hundred feet to be appeasing to my full stomach."
He gave her a matter-of-fact smirk.

"Oh, come on, Mulder.  It'll be fun." She grinned
as she pulled him
toward the growing line that looked like a
centipede with all the outstretched arms of
children pointing up to the ride.

"For you, maybe." he replied.

"Don't be such a baby, Mulder."

"Fine, but only this once." he agreed.

The two agents waited in line for nearly twenty
minutes before being
ushered towards the little car they'd be riding
in. When Mulder felt his stomach turn from the
thought of going up to the top of the wheel he
looked at Scully.

"I've changed my mind, Scully.  I don...."

Mulder didn't even get a chance to finish his
protest as Scully nearly
ripped his arm off pulling him into the Ferris
Wheel car.  The ride operator closed the door, and
a few moments later they were being lifted into
the air. Mulder sat there clutching the wheel in
the center of their round Ferris Wheel car that
was used to make their car spin in circles as they
were suspended in air.  His eyes were shut so
tight it looked as if someone super-glued them
shut.

"Mulder... it's not THAT bad." Scully said with a
smirk.

"Easy for you to say.  Your stomach isn't about to
explode!" he quipped.

"It's not my fault you ate seven hot dogs!"

Mulder opened his eyes and glared at her.

After what seemed like a millennium, or maybe
more, to Mulder, they
finally reached the ground.  Mulder literally
jumped out of the car before the ride operator
even had the chance to open the door for them.

Seeing Mulder's reaction, Scully got out of the
car barely able to
contain her laughter.  Somehow she managed to
suppress it though.

"Hey, Scully... let's go ride the bumper cars."
Mulder said with an
impish grin.

"Why do I have the feeling this is an act of
revenge, Mulder?" she said as Mulder dragged her
to the line.

"Agent Scully, I would never!" Mulder said, that
evil grin never once
leaving his face.

On their way to the line for the bumper cars
Scully spotted something. "Mulder, look..." she
pointed, "It's a..." Scully never got the chance
to finish her statement before she heard the most
horrendous screaming of a child coming from her
left.


--End of part 1--


Upon hearing the screaming of horror next to her,
Scully looked over to find that the screams were
not those of a child, but of her very own partner
and friend, Mulder.  "Mulder?" she said. "Mulder,
what's wrong?" Scully looked around to see just
about everyone at the park staring at them.  She
glanced back at Mulder, who was still screaming
like a little kid who'd just seen a spider on
their bed.  He was pointing at something. She
followed his finger and burst out laughing when
she seen the object of his horror.

Mulder looked at her and cried, "It's not funny!"
That only made Scully laugh harder.

After calming herself she looked at Mulder again.
"How the hell would something like that make you
scream like a child?"

Mulder pouted.  "I did not scream like a child,
Scully."

"You did so!  Mulder, that's the funniest thing
I've *ever* heard!"
Scully almost burst out laughing again, but caught
herself.  "You are such a child!"

"I am not!" he cried.

"You are so!"

The object of Mulder's horror came towards them
and Mulder made a run for it, screaming and
flailing his arms.  "It's going to get me,
Scully!!!!!"

Scully ran after him, trying her best not to start
laughing again.

A few moments later, Scully caught up with him.
The two of them stood
there for a moment catching their breath.  She
looked up at him just in time to see his face go
pale and his body go stiff in shock.


--End of part 2--


"Mulder, what's wrong?"  Scully asked.

"They're EVERYWHERE, Scully!" He pointed to her
left.

Scully looked in the direction Mulder pointed.
Sure enough, there was another one.  "Mulder, you
remind me of what my nephew did when he first sat
on Santa's lap at the age of TWO!" She giggled.

"It's not funny, Scully!"

"It is!  Mulder, how is it that dark mysterious
men with guns, flukemen, goat suckers, vampires,
liver-eating mutants, and zombies don't scare you,
but THAT does?!"

"Scully, that's not an ordinary thing! It's a
MONSTER!"

Scully rolled her eyes at him.  "You're
impossible, Mulder."

"I'm telling you, Scully... those things have
razor sharp teeth and
thrive off of ripping you to shreds and eating you
while you're still alive!" he said with definite
seriousness on his face.

"Whatever, Mulder." she said.  "If that's true,
then why aren't all the people here being ripped
apart?"

"Because..." he whispered as he leaned close to
her and looked around to make sure no one was
listening.  "He's in disguise.  But *I* know his
secret."

Scully burst out laughing when suddenly a dark
shadow was cast over
Scully. The shadow reached out and placed a hand
on Scully's shoulder. Mulder's eyes went wide in
horror and the next thing Scully knew... Mulder
fainted at her feet.


--End of part 3--

Scully swirled around when she felt a hand clamp
down on her shoulder. When she saw what was behind
her she smiled at it.  "Sorry, he's not into these
kind of things."  She knelt down beside Mulder and
shook him lightly. "Mulder... come on, get up."

A few seconds later Mulder came to.  Mulder
glanced around with a
paranoid look and noticed that the thing was now
gone.  Mulder leapt to his feet.   "Let's get
outta here, Scully!" he exclaimed.

"Yes, Mulder, let's."  Scully had had enough of
Mulder going bizerk over such a childish thing.

Once in the car, Scully suddenly burst out
laughing harder than ever.
She sounded like a hyena cackling in the wind,
Mulder thought.  "It's not nice to make fun of
people's fears, Scully." Mulder pouted.

"I can't help it, Mulder.  That was just odd."
She smiled.

"When am I not odd?"  There was a pause before
Mulder spoke up again.
"Ever since my friends made me watch that one
movie in college... I've
had a terrible phobia that they were out to get
me." he said with mock
seriousness.

"Mulder," she rolled her eyes.  "You think
*everyone* is out to get you."

She said with a smile.  The same kind of almost
laughing smile that she gave him in California
when he suggested that zombies got up and danced
and made love before feeding. She had told him
"Mulder, you do realize that there are no real
zombies out there, right?  That this is a movie
set?"  and he had replied with, "The dead are
everywhere, Scully."

"That's beside the point.  I just go nuts when I
see them." he said
softly.

"Obviously!" Scully smirked.

Mulder sneered at her in response.

"So... were you talking about that movie by
Stephen King?" she asked,
putting on her seat belt.

"Yeah, that's the one." he said with a heavy sigh.

"Mulder, it was only a movie." She looked out the
windshield and started the car.

"That's what YOU think!  Your pet Schnauzer didn't
get eaten by one of
those things!"

"No, Mulder, it didn't.  But my pet Pomeranian got
eaten by a
crocodile..."

"Scully, that's not the same thing."

"It's the same concept." There was a silence for a
minute or two as
Scully headed towards Mulder's place, then Scully
burst out suddenly, "For God's sake, Mulder, it
was a CLOWN!" and she burst out laughing.

"So?" he replied in a small voice.


--End--


PLEASE tell me what you think! :)   (I'll respond faster
if you e-mail me at AgentLeki1013@aol.com or
TheDamnBee@juno.com)