Lanfir leaned against the fence of the Practice Yard, while she and Nina watched their warders practice. The sunlight was warm on her face and Lanfir closed her eyes, enjoying the moment. It was the first moment of rest after her raising to Head of the Green Ajah and the following dazzling impressions and she took a lot of delight in the rest and the time to breathe. It all began when she bonded Degan Breinhold, nicknamed Dark Blight, a month ago. She remembered the early morning and the upcoming sun, shining on DB’s blade as he kneeled before her and she wove the flows. It had been a sacred moment. It had been before they found out that he could channel.

While she was still bubbly and dazzled from the bonding, he had come to her the next day, his dark eyes troubled. She felt through the bond that he felt terrible and that something bad was going on. She had gestured him to sit down and he had bursted out: "Lanfir I dont know how to say it, but I can channel."

She had almost fainted. After a long talk and a lot of tears they finally agreed on Dark Blight joining the Black Tower ("You need training, Dark Blight, or you’ll kill yourself") and she staying behind in the White. He wanted to keep the bond a secret, because the Black and the White Tower were at the verge of war, but she disagreed. She felt exhausted when she left him and went to her rooms.

Lanfir remembered falling on her bed, almost falling asleep, when a novice knocked on her door. She opened the door, trying to gather all of her Aes Sedai dignity. "What is it, child?" she asked, tired.

"The Amyrlin has summoned you, Lanfir Sedai. She said you should come to the Hall right away."

Lanfir frowned. "The Hall? But…"

"Please would you follow me, Aes Sedai?" The novice asked.

"Of course," she whispered, hoping her eyes weren’t too red-rimmed and her cheeks not too blurry. What would the Hall want from her?

In that Hall, she was raised to Head of the Green Ajah. Miraina, the former Head, had only died three hours ago after breaking her neck because she fell from her horse. And the Hall and the Amyrlin wanted -her- to be her successor. She didn't understand it, but let it come. Suddenly she was overwhelmed with honour, Aes Sedai politics and Ajah administration. She barely saw Dark Blight, nor her best friends Maarin and Nymphia (of whom the latter was still Accepted). She spend a lot of time talking to Kathana, who turned out to be quite friendly once she let the mask of Amyrlin Seat drop. And in that time she got to know Nina Sedai pretty well. Nina was a newly raised, sympathetic and enthusiastic Sister and it was hard not to be charmed by her. Lanfir liked to spend time with her, but the first moment of silence was now.

Nina looked at Nomad and Okralord with a soft look in her eyes, smiling fondly. "Aren't they good with the sword? I’m so glad I bonded the both of them. Tomorrow I’ll bond my third warder."

Lanfir opened her eyes. "Your third? In ONE week?"

Nina shrugged. "Why not?"

"Yeah, why not. I have to say you’re pretty quick though. Who is the lucky one?"

"I’m not going to tell," Nina smiled. "You’ll see."

"OK," Lanfir said, looking at Dark Blight practicing the forms. She had asked him why he kept returning to the Practice Yard. He said it was because he wanted to keep his shape. She had replied that he did not need to be in shape – he had the One Power now – but DB was just being plain stubborn again. Lanfir didn't mind. She was glad to see him and she always liked to see him sweat. She grinned at that thought.

"It’s a pity you bonded Dark Blight already," she heard Nina say. "He is a cutie and skilled enough."

Lanfir grinned. "Too late, Nina."

"Yeah," she sighed.

"Though Nomad’s cute, too. He is so courteous and nice to everyone."

"Yeah," Nina agreed. "If you want to borrow him sometime, be my guest. I’m gonna have three warders anyway."

Lanfir chuckled. "Then you can borrow my Dark Blight, too. And if I bond in the future any warders and I do not need them, you may spend some time with them. Agreed?"

"Deal!" Nina laughed, and they clasped hands. "DB and I are good friends already, so I guess you have a good taste in warders."

"So do you," Lanfir said, smiling at Nomad, who was all covered in sweat. She sighed. "If I only had time for this…"

"Oh, I’m sure you will. This is the first rush, the administration and the tasks will lessen once you’ve been the Head of the Greens for a while and you'll know how to do everything," Nina promised her, laying her hand comfortingly on Lanfir’s. "And if you need help, just give me a call, Sister."

"I will," Lanfir smiled.

"Let's drink on that!" Nina laughed, and asked some warder-in-training to bring them a bottle of good white wine to celebrate it.

She was in the Hall again, looking at all the Sisters (althought there weren't a lot of them, back then, shortly after the founding of the White Tower) gathered, and wondered what was going on. This had been a weird day anyways, because DB had a hangover in the Black Tower, Nina hadn’t show up to help with her administration and Nymphia had ignored her all the way. She sighed and guessed it was one of these days again.

Her friend Maarin, the only one who acted normal today, tapped on her shoulder. "Hello Sister." Morgan, the newest Green, was with her and smiled at Lanfir. "Do you know what is going on here?"

Lanfir shrugged. "It was a summon of the Amyrlin and the Keeper again. I wonder what they want."

Suddenly, the huge, heavy doors opened, and Kathana and Chissa entered, both all cool Aes Sedai dignity. They paced to the center of the Hall and Chissa announced with a loud, clear voice: "The Amyrlin and I have had bad news today. Let the bringer of this news tell it to you all by herself."

A buzzing of whisper went through the Aes Sedai gathered in the Hall and Lanfir wondered again what could be going on. At the same moment, she wondered where Nina was. And all in the same instant, the heavy doors opened again and Nina entered. –Nina!- Lanfir thought, exclaiming in the depths of her mind. –What IS going on today?- She chewed her lip and waited for Nina to reach the center of the Hall. Nina did not look good, her dark hair was in disorder and she looked very pale. Her eyes were red-rimmed. Actually she looked as bad as the day she herself had heard that Dark Blight could channel. Something very bad was going on.

Everything went quiet when Nina began to talk. Her voice was soft, as if it was filled with shame. "I have to reveal something for my sisters here," she said. Then she straightened her back and looked around with a cool air. "Nina Bede Caedmon has been an illusion. My true name is Celeste Blackthorne, and I’m a Forsaken spying for Shayol Ghul."

-A Forsaken!- Lanfir screamed, but she did not use her voice. –I’ve been friends with a Forsaken!-

Before anyone could do anything and before the exclaims could arise, the Amyrlin took the arm of the Green (now EX-Green, Lanfir thought grimly) and and said calmly. "There’s no need to panic, Daughters. Celeste Blackthorne is prisoner of the White Tower and shielded with the help of male channelers. She’ll never be able to break this shield. You’re all safe. What I am wondering, though, is: how could this happen in the name of the Light?"

Lanfir’s disgust broke through her Aes Sedai calm. She felt tears rolling over her cheeks. She knew she was weeping, but she did not care. She had been friends with a Forsaken, but even worse, the woman she had called her friend, had betrayed her. And she had never known. Never.

She had visited Blackthorne several times after she was taken as a prisoner and found it a hard time to hate her. How do you stop liking a person? After the illusion of the young girl had fallen off her, Lanfir saw her own foolishness. But Blackthorne acting as a woman was very charming as well. How much she tried to hate the other woman, she still found herself liking her.

Her visits were frequent, once a week most of the time and after a hard time (five months) she finally admitted that she still liked Blackthorne, but still hated what she did to her. She also admitted to herself that she liked Blackthorne being treated worse than a novice or servant, to pay for what she did. And she was happy with every scrap of information about Shayol Ghul.

Time went by. The relations between the Black and the White Tower became better, there were more bondings between Asha’man and Aes Sedai and life was quite peaceful. Lanfir bonded two other warders, one Soldier called Fremen and a gaidin named Darkseid and found her new bondings soothing after several nightmares of Dark Blight going crazy and killing her and burning the White Tower to ashes.

Blackthorne met a Soldier named Sam d’ma Shadar. He bonded her to keep an eye on her, so she would be guarded and devoted to him and the Light’s causes for ever and Blackthorne fell head over heels in love with him. Even so much that she forsook again, the Shadow this time. Celeste Blackthorne walked in the Light again and betrayed the Dark One this time. Lanfir felt it right to become friends with her again and Blackie and Dark Blight still were fond of each other. But once she started to flirt with Sam, Blackthorne interfered. "We agreed of sharing warders, remember, not bondholders. And your way of flirting is much too threathening for me. Sam is mine," Blackthorne had pleaded.

Lanfir sighed. "Dark Blight is –my- lover, mind you!" And then they both laughed. "Use my warders when they like it, Blackie," she had said. "I’ll use yours. And I think that Sam’s only interested in you anyway."

Blackthorne had smiled and the arrangement, made so long ago, still remained.

It happened pretty often that Lanfir regretted that arrangement, but somehow she felt it was right. It would be good for her to share anyway, she was way too jealous. Glancing down to the courtyard below, she watched Blackthorne and Dark Blight strolling, Blackthorne holding a piece of paper and reading to Dark Blight, obviously getting his opinion on something she has written. Lanfir smiled. It was nice to see her warders helping others and nice to see both DB and Blackie again.

The Battle of Tar Valon

Let me give you a good example of a battle not so very long ago. Some of you might still remember the Battle of Tar Valon - it happened a while ago now, the Novices and the Accepted might not remember, but a lot of Aes Sedai do. It was not so long before the Breaking, and it was the first disaster ever happening to the White Tower and Tar Valon.

It's a rather long story, but I will tell it to you now, briefly. Shortly after the founding of Dragonmount and the White Tower, a Forsaken named Celeste Blackthorne disguised herself as a young Green named Nina Bede Caedmon and spied on the happenings in the White Tower for Shayol Ghul. When she was revealed, the White Tower kept her as a prisoner, bonded to the Soldier Sam d'ma Shadar from the Black Tower to make sure she would not get away. The Hall decided not to kill her, because she carried useful information about the Shadow. Blackthorne fell head over heels in love with her bondholder and, to everyone's surprise, forsook the Shadow out of love for him. The Nae'blis and Forsaken Demandred found out very soon about that, and he went to attack Tar Valon and to kill Blackthorne.

The White Tower noticed large forces of Trollocs and Myrdraal approaching Tar Valon, and they asked their allies in the Black Tower for help. No one knew the Shadow's intention, and they might have come for the Black Tower after Tar Valon would have been ruined.

To make things even worse, the Amyrlin Seat got kidnapped by the insane Sathinar, leaving the White Tower without a leader.

The Hall gathered. The outcome of that gathering was the following decision: the Keeper of the Chronicals, Chissa Zeramene, would function as Amyrlin. Kaleyra Estalor of the Green Ajah would be temporary Keeper of the Chronicals, and the Head of the Green Ajah, Lanfir Leah Marithsen, would be the battle leader of the Aes Sedai. She worked close together with the leader of the Warders, Ben T-Gaidin, and the Asha'man of the Black Tower of course.

But then there was another decision to make: would they get the Amyrlin back, or would they concentrate on the saving of Tar Valon? After long debating a little party was sent to save the Amyrlin, but the major concentration was on Tar Valon.

The Battle dured three days, and the Tower survived. On the third day, Demandred and some of his allies found Blackthorne and erased her memory so she would not give any information concerning her time as Forsaken anymore. To no one. After that was done, the forces of Shadow pulled back, and Tar Valon could breathe again. Those three days, though, had been terrible; too many innocent people had died, and also several of the warders and Tower Guards. Some Aes Sedai had died or burnt out.

But the Tower survived, and that was the most important.

With the Tower saved, another group went to save the Amyrlin, a group consisting of Ciara Sedai, Lanfir Sedai and Darksmoon the Wolfbrother (who was her warder then). Darksmoon had found information on the Amyrlin's location and they managed to save her. After this victory, everyone returned home and worked on renovating and rebuiling the beautiful city of Tar Valon.

(telling this as Lanfir Sedai)

It all started around the beginning of July, when two of my warders, Darkseid and Ash, seemed to be very involved with a Wolfsister named Fires Child. I was outraged when I heard about it – the fact that they made an oath to her as well as the fact that they shared her bed made my blood boil. I admit that I can be jealous at times. One warder messing around is ok, two warders messing around, well, not good but I can handle it. But both with the same girl? I felt like she was pulling them away from me, as if she were stealing them. Well, one can hurt and touch me, but my warders is a whole different case.

As soon as I heard about it, I rushed over to the Spring of Morning Inn where I had a terrible argument with her. Ash and Darkseid showed up later, and Ive called them names as well for betraying and leaving me. They wanted Fires Child to choose between them – so I could have least have one of them still dedicated to me. Fires Child chose for Darkseid.

Ash had a breakdown, drinking everything in sight without even thinking of fuzzing the bond. I suffered his headache as well, and he did not let me near to comfort him. The next day we all were present in the Inn, and Darkseid and Fires Child announced that they would marry soon. I had a night to think about it, and decided to let Darkseid free to be Fires’ husband. I would not bear to see him unhappy still bonded to me, and Fires was still seeing me as a rival. I guess we’ll always regard eachother that way. Darkseid would have none of it. He knew his duty, and we had been bonded for years now. He wanted to stay with me. I sort of agreed, thinking that he would change his mind soon enough, when Aldazar suddenly spoke up. He said that no wolfkin would have any ties with the White Tower; an old decision of Darksmoon, when he and I broke our bond and left eachother filled with pain. How do I always mess up any kind of relationship with wolfkin?

I plead to Darksmoon, thinking I would have any influence on him, but he did not give in. I saw his point, actually, and after the marriage I broke the bond with Darkseid. The pain was terrible. Ash, Darkseid, Fires and me were all crying and I have not been coherent for days. Every time an Aes Sedai breaks a bond, it gets worse (at this point, this was my second broken bond). I almost got suicidal. The only thing that kept me from dying were alcohol and Ash’ arm around my shoulder. My duty as Aes Sedai meant nothing to me at that point.

The pain was terrible, but a few weeks I had peace with it. I wished Fires Child and Darkseid all the luck in the world. But as time passed by, I got to meet them together a lot of times. And they were VERY in love and annoying. I also heard from other people in the Spring of Morning that they were not amused by their sexually tinted behaviour.

And I got jealous. Of course. I’m a Green, and Im a woman. I was afraid Fires was not good for him, that she abused him. I caught her kissing another of the Wolfkin one time, and almost killed her for it. She said it was just friendship that she kissed that boy, and Darkseid admitted that later, but the seed was there, and I got suspicious.

And it went downhill from that point.

I don’t know how exactly, but Fires got all tangled up with the Forsaken Rahvin all of a sudden. He abused her, hurted her and made her kill a man. I exploded when I found out about that. She killed at the whim of a Forsaken, so for me she was a Darkfriend or worse, and she was *married* to my warder! I hate Darkfriends, especially because my parents were DFs as well, so some say Im as fanatic as a WhiteCloak, when its about servants of the Dark.

This time, I nearly strangled Fires Child in the Spring of Morning. We had an argument like its never heard before, and it was worse than ever. I accused her of being a darkfriend, and we ended up screaming at eachother. The whole Inn got mixed up in this battle, and Ishamael wanted us to shut up. I did not recognize him at first, so I ignored him, and he got so angry that he suddenly shielded and bound everyone with Air the next instant. That was when I suddenly noticed what I had done.

To make things even worse, Rahvin walked in, and he agreed with what Ishamael had done. Here I was, shielded and all, with the wrath of two Forsaken upon me. Dedicated Torim helped me, and I almost unknot the weave that shielded me, when a lot of things happened in the same instant.

For one, Phoenix, aka Jarron al’Tanin walked in. And he disliked what he saw. He cut all the weaves holding the people in the Inn, and accused Ishamael and Rahvin of course. The next thing I knew, was that I was being smashed against the wall, and that I lost consciousness. Torim tried to heal me, and when I finally got up, able to walk again without falling flat on my face, I noticed that the fight was raging outside. I stumbled my way to the door, and saw to my horror that they were using balefire on eachother. And Fires had a knife in her hand. I don’t know who she was planning to kill, but she was approaching both the forsaken and Jarron. "Fires, NOOOOO!" I yelled, drawing, again, all attention to me.

The fight was very blurry. I lost consciousness twice, and when I woke up the second time, I suddenly noticed Ishamael was holding me as a human shield before him, hoping that Jarron would not balefire him this way. I got free because he dropped me and escaped through a Gateway.

Fires had managed to stab Rahvin with her knife, and he as well, bleeding and all, opened a Gateway and escaped, dragging Fires Child with him.

I looked at Jarron, who cursed, and lost consciousness again.

Later I found out that it was the ex Forsaken and my friend Blackthorne, who brought me back to the Tower again. When I woke up, fully healed except for a headache, I heard from an outraged Darkseid that Fires Child was Rahvin’s captive, while Matalina Gaidin and Maarin Sedai had been taken hostage by Ishamael, as a sort of revenge. Ishamael wanted to kill Jarron, and what was a better way than taking the people he cared for as a hostage?

I did not really know Matalina, except for her being with the warders and being ta’veren, but Maarin and Fires Child…. Maarin was my friend. And Fires… I was responsible for this mess. Poor Matalina was held captive, too.

After a while of going crazy because of guilt, I managed to gather myself and went to look for Yveva, Darkseid, the Amyrlin and others who could help me find them. I had to clean the mess I made – because I held myself responsible for all this.