10. "Cool! They're televising a car chase, on all 3 networks. I wonder who their cha...O.J. SIMPSON?!"

9. "Why are the police chasing O.J. Simpson? Does he have a football in his car?"

8. "Gee...I knew Hertz was tough on their Return Policy, but this is ridiculous."

7. "Are we there yet?"

6. "Hmmm...it's not so much a car 'chase' as it is a car 'following'." - Dave Shlafer & Pals

5. "Hey, is this OJ? Yeah...I'm calling from Wilkeshire Blvd, and 39th.Could you speed it up a bit. Some of us want to get home to watch ourselves on TV."

4. "Juice! Juice! Jui...oh wait. What am *I* cheering for? I'm a Packers fan."

3. "When you get a chance, I want you to send Nordberg in here. We have to have a talk." - Lt. Frank Drebin

2. "You know, it's nice that CBS has taken an hour out of MY viewing time to broadcast a MOTORCADE! I oughta sue." - Skippy Podar

1. "Next week, on the SIMPSONS...Bart kills his evil next door neighbors, and leads Chief Wiggam on a 50 minute 'chase' through Downtown Springfield. Mmmm...doughnuts."

This First Joke is Sung Along to the Tune of Dr. Seuss's "Green Eggs & Ham"

Did you do this awful crime? Did you do it anytime?
I did not do this awful crime. I could not, would not, anytime.
Did you take this person's life? Did you do it with a knife?
I did not do it with a knife. I did not, could not, kill my wife.
I did not do this awful crime, I could not, would not, anytime.
Did you leave a pool of blood? Did you drop this bloody glove?
I did not leave a pool of blood. I could not even wear that glove.
I did not do it with a knife. I did not, could not, kill my wife.
I did not do this awful crime, I could not, would not, anytime.

How do you find O.J. on the Internet? :: Type : slash...backslash...backslash...backslash...escape

After the jury announced that O.J. was Not Guilty, the first thing he said was, Give me my hat and gloves, I'm out of here!

How are OJ Simpson and John Elway different?
One has a slow white bronco and one is a slow white bronco.

What did Joey Buttafucco say to OJ?
You should have had your girlfriend do it.

Lawyers to O.J.: We have good news and bad news.
Bad News-You have been dropped by Hertz
Good News-You have been picked up by Ginzu

What did Ronald Goldman say to Nicole Brown Simpson when they met in heaven?
Here are your damn glasses!

What did St. Peter say to Nicole when she got to heaven?
Your waiter will be along in a minute.

Did you hear there was evidence found that proved O.J. couldn't have been at the crime scene?
They found a Super Bowl ring.

What do you have if you put O.J., Magic Johnson, and Mike Tyson together?
The Butcher, the Laker, and the license plate maker.

Robert Shapiro and Johnnie Cochran have a new movie coming out.
It's called "Scum and Scummer"

What's the difference between God and Johnnie Cochran?
God doesn't think that he is Johnnie Cochran!

Everyone knows that O.J. is coming out with this infomercial, but did you hear, the director is having problems with it. It's 4 hours long instead of 2 because he doesn't want to yell "Cut!"

Why is it safer to drink water instead of OJ?
Because OJ will kill you!

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