Site hosted by Angelfire.com: Build your free website today!


Newt Gridlock


LOOK
You are in a large, dense forest.

LISTEN
You can hear faint cries for help in the distance.

GO TO SOUND
You are by a large fallen tree. Pinned under the tree is Newt Gingrich.

SAY HELLO
"I'm under a tree, you idiot! Help me!", replies Newt.

SAY HOW?
"You must deliver my tax plan to Washington so it can be passed!", says Newt. He offers you a briefcase.

TAKE BRIEFCASE
You now have a thin brown briefcase.

INVENTORY
You are carrying:
A briefcase
A Swiss Army knife
Beef Jerky
A Honda Accord
A biology textbook

USE HONDA
You are inside the Honda.

DRIVE TO WASHINGTON
You have reached Washington. A logging company lies to the west

DRIVE TO WASHINGTON DC
You have reached Washington DC. The capitol lies to the north. The White House lies to the east.

DRIVE TO WHITE HOUSE
You have reached the White House.

ENTER
A Honda Accord can't fit in the White House!

PUT ACCORD AWAY
The Honda Accord is stored on your person.

ENTER WHITE HOUSE
You are inside the White House. There is a staircase leading upstairs. The Oval Office is to the West.

ENTER OVAL OFFICE
You are inside the oval office. A large man with grey hair is behind the desk. The President says "Can I help you?"

OPEN BRIEFCASE
The briefcase is locked!

USE SWISS ARMY KNIFE
Use on what?

BRIEFCASE
The briefcase is now open. It contains:
A budget bill
A stopwatch
A pornographic magazine
A computer mouse.

SAY I HAVE NEWT'S BILL
"If you don't leave immediately, I'm calling security", the President says.

DROP BEEF JERKY
The President unwraps the Beef Jerky. The President eats the Beef Jerky. The President smiles. The President says, "Just like mom's. Got any more?"

DROP MAGAZINE
The President sees the magazine. The President reads the magazine. The President nods approvingly.

HIT PRESIDENT WITH BOOK
Where will you hit the President?

THE HEAD
The President is now unconscious.

PLACE BRIEFCASE ON DESK
The briefcase is on the Oval Office desk.

SIGN BILL
You sign your name on the President's face. Security has just entered the room! You have been arrested. Your score is 536 out of 12645

Oh well, guess that didn't work. I suppose the answer is nothing. Gridlock continues as normal.


pearly gates humor page