How come you did al the miracles in the old days and you don’t do any now?
How come my brother has a pee pee and I don't? Did you run out of them?
My Mommy is sad a lot since Daddy went away. We can't find him. Can you?
My turtle died. We buried her in our yard. Is she there with your now? If so, she really likes lettuce.
I have scary dreams at night. Mommy says I can't come in with them anymore 'cuz I'm too big for that. Where do scary dreams come from, or should I ask the devil that?
Did you invent skateboards? Do you have them up in Heaven too? I love mine a lot and can do lots of tricks already. Do you like watching me?
I'm sorry I forgot the words to your songs yesterday in Sunday School. I don't sing that good anyway so sometimes I just hum along. Is that o.k. with you?
Could you please make my legs be strong? I want to play like the other kids. They tease me so please make them stop.
Do you throw the lightening down at us? It scares me a lot when it goes BOOM. Please stop it.
I love Jesse a lot. When I told him, he pushed me down and made me cry. Mommy says he must like me too. What do you think?
Molly got new pink shoes, and I want them. Is that bad? I won't steal them or anything, but would you send me some too?
I hate it when Daddy drinks his beer. He smells awful. Then he sleeps. He gets mean and yells at me a lot. Did you make up beer? Why?
When I get big I want to play basketball. Maybe you could make my skin black so I can play better. Also, make me really tall, too.
Would you make me a little brother? I want to have someone to boss around like my brother does me.
Why didn't you make me special? Cloe is specially pretty and Janine is specially smart. Ryan can run faster than anyone and wins all the races. Tina has perfect teeth. And Carmen can speak two languages. Did you forget to give me something special to be?
My dog, Bowser is getting really old now. He gets up slowly and doesn't keep up with me anymore when we run. Mommy says he's going to die one day. Could you just make him a puppy again instead?
I have no best friend. Everyone at school seems to have a best friend but me. Could you send me one, please? And hurry.
I have a spelling test on Tuesday. I never get all the words right. Maybe you could help me this time. Or is that cheating?
I have a lizard named Ernie. He only has three feet 'cuz one of them got caught in the door. I didn't mean to do it though. Would you fix it back again?
In Sunday School we learned that You are everywhere. How big are You? As big as Shaq? He plays basketball and is the biggest I've ever seen.
Do you know when I'm bad or good? Or is that just Santa Claus?
I play worse than anyone on my soccer team. I'm the smallest one, too. That doesn't seem very fair. Did you play a dirty trick on me?
Please make me pretty. Because I think I'm not very smart.
Do you listen to my prayers every night? Do you really know when I only pretend to brush my teeth? Don't tell Mommy, O.K.?
In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation?
I read the Bible. What does 'begat' mean? Nobody will tell me.
Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house?
Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You just keep the ones You have now?
Who draws the lines around the countries?
I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay?
What does it mean You are a Jealous God? I thought You had everything.
Did you really mean "do unto others as they do unto you"? Because if you did, then I'm going to fix my brother.
Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy.
It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some things about You that people are not supposed to say, but I hope You will not hurt him anyway. Your friend (But I am not going to tell you who I am.)
Why is Sunday school on Sunday? I thought it was supposed to be our day of rest.
Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up.
If we come back as something - please don't let me be Jennifer Horton because I hate her.
If You give me a genie lamp like Aladdin, I will give you anything you want, except my money or my chess set.
My brother is a rat. You should give him a tail. Ha ha.
Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother.
I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big but not with so much hair all over.
You don't have to worry about me. I always look both ways.
I think the stapler is one of your greatest inventions.
I think about You sometimes even when I'm not praying. I bet it is very hard for You to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it.
Of all the people who work for You I like Noah and David the best.
My brother told me about being born but it doesn't sound right. They're just kidding, aren't they?
If You watch me in church Sunday, I'll show You my new shoes.
I would like to live 900 years like the guy in the Bible.
We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday school they said You did it. So I bet he stoled your idea.
The bad people laughed at Noah - "You made an ark on dry land you fool." But he was smart, he stuck with You. That's what I would do.
I do not think anybody could be a better GOD. Well, I just want You to know but I am not just saying that because You are GOD already.
I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday. That was cool!
Went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay?
Please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now.
Thank you for the baby brother but what I asked for was a puppy. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up.
Dear Mr. God, I wish you would not make it so easy for people to come apart I had to have 3 stitches and a shot.
God, I read the bible. What does beget mean? Nobody will tell me.
How did you know you were God? Who told you?
Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his golf words in the house?
I bet it's very hard for you to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it.
I like the story about Noah the best of all of them. You really made up some good ones. I like walking on water, too.
My Grandpa says you were around when he was a little boy. How far back do you go?
Do you draw the lines around the countries? If you don't, who does?
Did you mean for giraffes to look like that or was it an accident?
In bible times, did they really talk that fancy?
How come you did all those miracles in the old days and don't do any now?
Please send Dennis Clark to a different summer camp this year.
Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they each had their own rooms. It works out OK with me and my brother.
I keep waiting for spring, but it never did come yet. What's up? Don't forget.
My brother told me about how you are born but it just doesn't sound right. What do you say?
If you watch in Church on Sunday I will show you my new shoes.
Is Reverend Coe a friend of yours, or do you just know him through the business?
I do not think anybody could be a better God than you. Well, I just want you to know that. I am not just saying that because you are already God.
It is great the way you always get the stars in the right place. Why can't you do that with the moon?
I am doing the best I can. Really !!!!
I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday night. That was really cool.
How come my brother has a pee pee and I don't? Did you run out of them?
My Mommy is sad a lot since Daddy went away. We can't find him. Can you?
My turtle died. We buried her in our yard. Is she there with your now? If so, she really likes lettuce.
I have scary dreams at night. Mommy says I can't come in with them anymore 'cuz I'm too big for that. Where do scary dreams come from, or should I ask the devil that?
Did you invent skateboards? Do you have them up in Heaven too? I love mine a lot and can do lots of tricks already. Do you like watching me?
I'm sorry I forgot the words to your songs yesterday in Sunday School. I don't sing that good anyway so sometimes I just hum along. Is that o.k. with you?
Could you please make my legs be strong? I want to play like the other kids. They tease me so please make them stop.
Do you throw the lightening down at us? It scares me a lot when it goes BOOM. Please stop it.
I love Jesse a lot. When I told him, he pushed me down and made me cry. Mommy says he must like me too. What do you think?
Molly got new pink shoes, and I want them. Is that bad? I won't steal them or anything, but would you send me some too?
I hate it when Daddy drinks his beer. He smells awful. Then he sleeps. He gets mean and yells at me a lot. Did you make up beer? Why?
When I get big I want to play basketball. Maybe you could make my skin black so I can play better. Also, make me really tall, too.
Do you like it when I pray to you? I do, too.
My Sunday School teacher says you always love me. Is that true? Even after what I did to Sara yesterday - or do you know about that? I really am sorry so I wish you would still love me.
My grandma is dying. She says you want her back with you, but I want her to stay here with me. You can have anyone you want. She's all I have, so please let her get better and stay.
Did baby Jesus cry all the time? My new brother does, and I don't like it. Mommy says all babies do, and I did when I was little. I'm six now. I don't think baby Jesus ever cried. He's your son, so you must know the answer. We have a bet on it, so please write back.
Why did you make snakes and spiders? I'm afraid of them.
Could you send me a horse? Caitlan has one, and she's always bragging about how fun he is. I want a bigger and smarter horse than hers. My horses' name will be Bullet so make him the fastest too, please.
My teacher is mean. She always yells at us. She's old and ugly. Why did you make bad and mean people?
Help me to not wet my bed anymore. I keep getting whippings, but I still can't stop.
Why do old people smell funny?
I saw a kangaroo and a buffalo today at the zoo. I like the lion best. What is your favorite? I think the ostrich is funny looking - did you do that on purpose?
I don't like brussel sprouts. Do I still have to eat them? I don't like milk, either. Mostly I like pizza.
Would you make me a little brother? I want to have someone to boss around like my brother does me.
Why didn't you make me special? Cloe is specially pretty and Janine is specially smart. Ryan can run faster than anyone and wins all the races. Tina has perfect teeth. And Carmen can speak two languages. Did you forget to give me something special to be?
My dog, Bowser is getting really old now. He gets up slowly and doesn't keep up with me anymore when we run. Mommy says he's going to die one day. Could you just make him a puppy again instead?
I have no best friend. Everyone at school seems to have a best friend but me. Could you send me one, please? And hurry.
I have a spelling test on Tuesday. I never get all the words right. Maybe you could help me this time. Or is that cheating?
I have a lizard named Ernie. He only has three feet 'cuz one of them got caught in the door. I didn't mean to do it though. Would you fix it back again?
In Sunday School we learned that You are everywhere. How big are You? As big as Shaq? He plays basketball and is the biggest I've ever seen.
Do you know when I'm bad or good? Or is that just Santa Claus?
I play worse than anyone on my soccer team. I'm the smallest one, too. That doesn't seem very fair. Did you play a dirty trick on me?
Please make me pretty. Because I think I'm not very smart.
Do you listen to my prayers every night? Do you really know when I only pretend to brush my teeth? Don't tell Mommy, O.K.?
In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation?
Are you really invisible or is that just a trick?
Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house?
Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't you just keep the ones you have now?
Who draws the lines around the countries?
I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay?
What does it mean You are a Jealous God? I thought You had everything.
Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy.
Why is Sunday school on Sunday? I thought it was supposed to be our day of rest.
Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before, You can look it up.
If You give me a genie lamp like Aladdin, I will give you anything you want except my money or my chess set.
Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother.
I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big but not with so much hair all over.
I think the stapler is one of your greatest inventions.
I bet it is very hard for You to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only four people in our family and I can never do it.
If You watch me in church Sunday, I'll show You my new shoes.
I would like to live 900 years like the guy in the Bible. Love,
We read Thomas Edison made light. But in school they said You did it. So I bet he stoled your idea. Sincerely,
I love you, God.
Prayer of an Adult
God, grant me the Senility
To forget the people
I never liked anyway
The good fortune
To run into the ones I do,
And the eyesight to tell the difference.
