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 Tantrum
Worst headache of my life
Choking back nauseated sobs
I moan in agony to memories of pure bliss
In fetal position, rocking a photograph
As a salty waterfall cascades over the glass
Fingernails dig into the flesh of my chest
Seeking the secret passage
To the emptiness within
On my knees now, forehead to the floor
Makeup stinging my eyes,
I look to the mirror to see that
I'm a six year old in tears,
Throwing a tantrum
For a doll that isn't mine.
*~Jacklynn
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My Disease
Imaginary footsteps echo in my mind,
Growing fainter but never ceasing
Echoing within this hollow cavity
The pit opens wider within me
To swallow me into distraction
There's nothing but him,
My drug, my disease, my cure.
*~Jacklynn
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Commercial Break
It's not the end,
It's an intermission,
A commercial break
Nevertheless I pine away.
Cliches like arrows pierce me,
The inevitable heartbreak jingles
You don't know what you've got 'till it's gone
Absence makes the heart grow fonder
Goodbyes are never easy
It's not the end, but it feels that way.
Full of regret, desire, abandonment, and neglect
A combat zone of inner turmoil
I started the war with an Ideal
Now I suffer as I'm beaten to nothing
By my own troops.
*~Jacklynn
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Temporally Unjustified
Thirteen days is too long
Like the twelve days of Christmas,
A song that seems to last forever,
A song that never ends
This line of music lies between us
An ocean keeping me from you
Each note a little sailboat laughing
Sailing along the soundwaves
Laughing at my impotence
I can't swim across
I can't even concentrate
I'm counterproductive,
Adding salty tears to the music of the ocean
It rises, growing deeper, deeper still
And I sit, and I cry.
My head burns as the pressure throbs on
My heart burns from the emptiness within
And my body burns with desire for you
Two weeks is another eternity
The first three were Hell itself
And then to see you was Bliss,
Together but not quite together,
I endured the pleasure and pain of it
I knew I'd get my turn,
Just a flicker, for a moment
And you were ripped away with the morning
Still together, but not quite together,
I endured the pain and pleasure of it,
Hoping to get another turn,
Just a flicker, for a moment,
But you were ripped away with the evening,
I couldn't even watch you leave,
Two short days and one busy night
Could never be long enough
I followed you down the street
In my mind I chased you
A million last kisses,
A thousand last hugs before you were gone
But I lay impotent in tears all the while
Writhing in my misery
Unable to think or speak or vomit.
For hours I tortured myself
Three long hours that were too long,
Until finally I took the forbidden escape
Slipping two white devils from their bottle
Begging for chemical mercy
And tried to fight myself for sleep.
To dream fitful dreams of you,
Without the pain.
*~Jacklynn
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