Remember....we wrote this in grade seven....just keep that in mind
Once there was an old man who owned the largest diamond in the world.
One day he saw a beautiful young girl with black hair and no glasses
walking down the street. He immediately fell in love with her.
Unfortunately, she had a blond-haired boy wearing a Backstreet Boys
jacket with her.
To find out more about this beautiful young girl with black hair and
no glasses, the old man walked up to the beautiful young girl with black
hair and no glasses and asked her what the time was. The beautiful young
girl with black hair and no glasses replied sweetly, “It’s 5:00, sir. By
the way, aren’t you that man who owns the largest diamond in the world?”
The old man answered to the beautiful young girl with black hair and
no glasses, “Why yes, I am. My name is Hugh, Hugh Jass. What’s your
name?”
The beautiful young girl with black hair and no glasses replied
politely, “My name is Pia Thomas, and this is my friend Nick Carter from
the Backstreet Boys. They recently put their first album out, and it’s
awesome!”
So now, the rich old man had a name for the beautiful young girl with
black hair and no glasses, and he also had a name for the boy with her.
Then the old man said good-bye, hobbled back to his house, and went to
the kitchen. He sharpened a butcher knife and went back out.
He went back to the place where he had first met the beautiful young
girl with black hair and no glasses, but he could not see her. The old
man was baffled. Why had the beautiful young girl with black hair and no
glasses left him?
He loved her so! Did she not love him in the same way?
Meanwhile, Pia and Nick had walked off to go eat a light supper in a
quaint little cafe just across the street.
The old man, hungry for blood, spotted them through the window and
strode into the restaurant trying to look casual.
Pia saw the old man and said, “Hi, Hugh. Why don’t you come eat with
us?”
Hugh said, “Okay, thanks.” He quickly bought a sandwich and sat down
to join them. He sat next to Nick so he could kill him easily.
As Pia and Nick discussed the latest Beavis and Butthead episode,
Pia’s best friend, Elizabeth, burst into the cafe. She plunked herself
down next to Pia and launched into her Beavis impression.
“Heh-heh, heh-heh, fire! This rocks! Heh-heh,heh-heh! This sandwich
rules! Heh-heh, heh-heh, yeah. I am Cornholio. Are you threatening me?”
Pia took one look at Elizabeth and cracked up. She laughed so hard
that she didn’t breathe for three minutes. Finally she looked up for a
gasp of air. Nick was laughing too, but not quite as hard as Pia. Hugh
stared at the youngsters, befuddled.
What on earth could be making them laugh so hard? He decided not to
ask. It would probably only make them laugh harder. Hugh stared at Nick
and decided one thing. Nick had to go. Unless, of course, if he could be
turned to the dark side and be used for evil. The force was strong with
Nick. The old man could feel it.
Hugh slowly slid the butcher knife out of his pocket, and in one
smooth move, jumped up on the table. Nick looked up, and a flash of
realization flickered across his face. He too, leaped onto the table and
pulled out his Jedi weapon, the lightsaber.
Hugh spoke quietly, but clearly, “Join the dark side, boy, or perish.”
“No!” Nick exclaimed, “I will not be turned. I am a Jedi Knight, like
my father before me!”
Meanwhile, AJ and Howie had come in, and were comparing tans, and Pia
and Elizabeth were trying on one of AJ’s many pairs of sunglasses.
Kevin, the waiter, walked over to his next table and was horrified at
who was there. It was Jabba the Hut! “Richardson,” the giant snail said,
“I need the money now.”
Kevin said, “ Look Jabba, I was just on my way to pay you, but I got a
little sidetracked with this waitering job.”
To this, Jabba only burped. Kevin, terrified for his life, shrieked
and ran out of the restaurant.
At the other table, Nick and Hugh were battling it out. Eventually,
Hugh got fed up with the butcher knife, and used his finger to zap the
boy. Nick writhed in pain on the floor.
“Frick,” he called out, “help me!”
Puzzled, no one knew what this meant.
“What is he talking about?” asked AJ.
Suddenly, Brian Littrell sprinted through the doors. “Did I hear a call
for Frick?” he asked. Then he noticed Nick twitching on the floor, and
the man who owned the largest diamond in the world–Hugh Jass–was
shooting firebolts at him. “I’ll save you, Frack!” he cried.
Brian jumped onto the table and lifted Hugh right over his head. Then
he ran outside and said in a corny voice, “It’s time to take out the
trash,” and slammed the old man into a garbage bin. Suddenly a herd of
girls ran toward him. Brian waved happily to them and dashed back into
the cafe, just as the garbage can exploded.
“Are you okay, Frack?” he asked as he crouched beside the brother he
never had.
“Yeah, I’m fine, Frick, thanks to you.” Nick replied.
“That was the weirdest thing I ever saw,” Pia commented.
“I just have one question,” Brian said, “why was Kevin running down
the street screaming like a girl?”
THE END
Written by Pia Thomas and Elizabeth Brant