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You Know You're A Harleyite When...
1. You can't watch "The Jetsons: withou laughing for three hours straight whenever Rosie the robot calls George "Mr. J."
2. You can't watch "Star Wars" because of Mark Hamill.
3. You get turned on by Danny Elfman's high-pitched giggle.
4. Jack Nicholson makes you swoon.
5. Your makeout song is Oingo Boingo's "Clowns of Death"
6. You watch "Fired Up" every week just because Arleen works on it.
7. You watch "Fraiser" every week just because Arleen's husband works on it.
8. You have the cover of "The Killing Joke" in a frame with little hearts around it. Bonus points if you kiss it at least once a day.
9. You wtire increasingly insistant letters to the producers of "Days of our Lives" asking when they're going to bring Calliope back.
10. You can't go in a certain aisle in the gorcery store because pudding reduces you to insane giggles.
11. You think John de Lancie is the greatest thing since they put the pocket in pita.
12. You find Kefka overwhelmingly attractive because he reminds you of both Mr. J. and of Q.
13. You've ever sent a death threat to Tim Burton because of what he did to your puddin'.
14. Jerry Hall makes you retch.
15. You can't watch anything with Alicia Silverstone merely on the basis of her first name.
16. When, in the movie "Spawn", John Leguizamo says "So I suck as a clown. Bite me," you wanted to take him up on that offer.
17. You know who the "Bad Boys of Fun" are/were/whatever.
18. You've scientifically figured out how old Harley would have to be in a B5 movie.
19. You know that Calliope's favorite drink was strawberry soda.
20. You think that Julie Taymor would be a true genius if it weren't for that rats-ass boyfriend of hers.
21. You can't order Caesar salad for a reason that has nothing to do with either raw egg or sardines.
Compiled by Blackjack
10. When your thinking of ways to make your outfit a little less tight in your male area.

9. You drop acid and things make more sense than before.
8. While your family is saying grace, you chant " Paul Dini" methodically.
7. When trying to live out your fantasy with your girlfriend, you want to be Joker and Harley.
6. You reach multiple orgasm when Joker does the handbuzzer scene in the first Batman flick.
5. When you ask your brother to dress up as Joker instead of Superman this time.
4. You got rid of those pesky 'books' to make way for every single copy of Mad Love, Batman Adventures, and any other book she appeared in.
3. You close your eyes and moan when your dad's kicking your @$$.
2. Your neighbors keep asking your large dogs to stop eating theirs.
1. Harleyite, oh no, I am Harley!
Compiled by Bob, Lord of Evil
10. Red, Black and White are strangly compeling 

9. You have a Harley Home Page 
8. You tend to annonce your actions "sneak sneak sneak" 
7. Every time you get into somebody's car you look in the glove box "It's amazing what you can find in other peoples glove compartments" 
6. You think that blonde hair in pig-tails is "cool" 
5. When people ask who your favorite Batman character is you spen 30 mins explaing Harley's History 
4. You take pride in your Harley doll that everyone else calls "a lump of plastic" 
3. You have heated arguments with you friends about whether or not Harley and Ivy are lovers 
2. You have heated arguments with friends as to who should play Harley in the 5th Batman film 
1. You are a guy and yet you still go to a fancy dress as Harley Quinn 
Compiled by Batwing
10. You are planning to make your own harley outfit for halloween and can't even sew

9. Suddenly "The Color Purple" takes on a whole new meaning
8. You begin to find humour in the most boring of college lectures
7. You begin to find humour in starting fights amongst your family and friends and then gracefully steppng out of them that they might more easily tear into each other
6. You begin to find humour in LIFE and the way we live it as a whole
5. You just had to buy that one "Wonder Woman" issue because HE was in it.....
4. You begin to day dream about going to gotham and auctioning off information on Batman to the highest bidder in a purple suit.
3. You write stories naming yourself as the Joker's love-child
2. You find yourself drawn to tall thin men just because you "love their smile"
and the number one reason to suspect yourself of Harleitism........
1.You start making lists like this one
Compiled by Josephine Kerr
1. You have an urge to dye your hair green or blonde.

2. You wish to take a class on psychology just so you can figure out Joker's psychosis.
3. You've suddenly developed a hatred for fish.
4. You can't pick up a playing card without having an impulse to throw it.
5. Your smile seems to get bigger with each passing day.
6. Your Halloween costume has yet to change from either a purple clown suit or a red and black tight outfit.
7. Whenever you laugh, you tilt your head back and let out this obnoxiously, loud laughter that even the dead can hear.
8. At school, college, or work, you suddenly scream out, "I've gotta get out of Arkham!"
9. After watching World's Finest for the 500th time, you still crawl into a fetal position and repeat, "He's not dead, he's not dead, he can't be dead."
10. You buy only the comic books that Joker or Harley is in.
11. You feel an intense fear whenever someone mentions the word, "Bat."
12. You call your enemies the dork knight or the caped clod.
13. You hate water even though you're an expert swimmer before you saw the "Laughing Fish."
14. You have all the tapes on BTAS where Joker or Harley make appearances. Even brief cameos.
15. You stop speaking for ten years just to prove to the world that youre the true Joker fan.
16. You start hating birds. (Robins in particular)
17. You dress continually in purple, red, or black.
18. You stay away from the sun in order to get that lovely pale complexion.
19. You start hating humanity.
20. You take up chemistry in order to replicate the Joker venom.
21. Your dreams are haunted by guess who?
22. When reading a book or watching a show, you start wondering who best represents the Joker or Harley.
23. In any situation you ask yourself, W.W.J.D. or what would Joker do?
24. You blacken the areas around your eyes for no apparent reason other then it's the new fad.
25. You tell everyone that you're the greatest criminal the world has ever seen. Then destroy anyone who dares to oppose you.
26. The question that's been on your mind is not when the world will end, but when will Joker finally kill off that stupid pointy-eared rodent?
27. Your 1989 movie of Batman has convenient rewinded scratch marks on the parts with Batman and has been focused on the scene where Joker repaints the art museum.
28. At the end of that movie where they show Joker's dead body, you cry softly and need to leave the room.
29. You make a webpage dedicated to the Joker, Harley, etc.
30. You make up lists like this one then realize that you're telling about your lifestyle.
31. If you don't see Joker, hear Harley, or read about either of them, something snaps in your mind and you won't recover for days.
32. You avoid anyone named Bruce, Dick, or Alfred.
33. You start rolling your r's.
34. You've managed to turn cheating at Poker into an art form.
35. You start a murderous rampage just to get publicity.
36. You start having an insane attraction towards clowns.
37. You laugh at everything and nothing, and sometimes forget to breathe while doing it.
38. You start dating guys who have been labeled as "Maniacs."
39. You listen to the Batman soundtrack night and day just to hear Joker's voice.
40. While you were listening to the c.d. in your car, you accidently hit a school bus while trying to rewind it to "Partyman."
41. You let the officer listen to the c.d. and say that it's your reason for hitting the bus.
41. The officer believed you.
42. You managed to convert the officer to the Joker.
43. You create fan fiction or poetry dedicated to the Batman's most famous and infamous foe.
Compiled by Raven
1)Your alltime favorite song is "Stuck in the Middle" by Steelers Wheels just because it mention clowns and jokers on the same line

2)You will only play cards if the jokers are left in
3)You rate the team at Warners above Van Gough or Piccaso
4)On you wedding day you where a Harley T-Shirt under your tux/Dress
5)Your weekly make up bill exceeds your food bill
6)You support any sports team whos colours are red/black, as long as the game is violent
7)You've checked with the local dog clubs to see if any Hyena pups are for sale
8)You've already spent a fair portion of your life contemplating what a child of Harley and Joker would look like
9)Your best friend is a gardener
10)You can see the funny side of EVERYTHING!
Compiled by Arkady
1) You count down the seconds to the day that your local comic book store receives a new issue of Gotham Adventures, praying that it features Harley or the Joker in some way.

2) You are currently counting down the seconds to the day that the issue with mainstream Harley arrives
3) You e-mail every editor in DC, demanding a Harley cameo appearance
4) As a introductory speech for your Speech class, you are Harley introducing the Joker (a la "the Laughing Fish")
5) You have a Joker poster on your ceiling strategically place over your bed, so it would be the last thing you see when you close your eyes.
6) You feel miserable if you miss any Harley episodes or happen to catch one in the middle
7) When you start thinking about every guy you've had a crush on, you find that in some way, they reminded you of the Joker.
8) You start thinking to yourself "I would get it on with Harley", and you're female (not that there's anything wrong with that;))
9) You call your male friends "puddin'"
10) You keep calling them this even though they hate it
11) You tell one of them that you two would make the "perfect couple" because you're 5"3' and he's 6"5'.
12) You tell him, "I am your Harley Quinn!"
13) Then you scowl at him when he tells you the Joker is a loser
14) Then you beat him up when he tells you the Joker is gay
15) When you first meet someone, you ask them, "Do you like Harley Quinn?"
16) You inform these people when they have no idea what you are talking about.
17) You are in the process of personalizing everything and making it Joker/Harley related
18) The cover of your sketchbook has a big heart with a picture of the Joker in the middle
19) Your idols--Jack Nicholson and Mark Hamill
20) You flirted with the guy at the comic book store because he reminded you of a young Mark Hamill.
21) You flirted with a guy at school because he reminded you of a red-headed Jack Nicholson.
22) To you, getting a copy of Mad Love was more important than going to the 7th game of the World Series.
23) You write a letter to Warner Brothers, asking when they will put Harley on Batamn Beyond
24) You get (or try to get) every comic that has a cameo appearance by the Joker
25) You start thinking that EVERYTHING would be made better by a cameo appearance by the Joker and Harley (from "The Simpsons" to "Dawson's Creek")
26) You shudder when you envision a world without either of them
27) You would love nothing more than to get the Joker car being raced at the Nascar 500.
28) You would rather have Joker/Harley marathons than go "clubbing" with your friends.
29) Your friends think you're hopeless for loving people that aren't even real
30) You beat them up for mentioning it (..."but they're real to ME!")
31) Not a day goes by that you do not look into the Joker: Devil's Advocate book, because you feel that that book shows the Joker at his sexiest.
32) You start classifying people you know as if they were Batman characters (you're Harley, your tall friend/crush is Joker, your equally cute friend with slicked back hair the Riddler, the fat guy you hate the Penguin, etc.)
33) You're saving $$ for a trip to LA just so you can visit the comic book stores that might have goodies you don't already own.
34) You think you've run out of ideas for this list, then discover you have 15 more.
35) You end this list because the Superman portion of the show is over and you race to see whether Harley's in it today.
Compiled by Harley Moon
10: the first signs of being a Harleyite generally consist of becoming intrigued to more so than is normal with the Clown Prince of Crime.

9: Next, a search for a way to love or revere this God of Gods in a kind, loveable form i.e. Harley!
8: A religious watching of any and all shows in which the Joker and Harley appear. The viewer attempting to mimic their idol or his woman to gain access to their relam.
7: Subject begins to identify him/herself with the image of Joker or Harley. This may be by adopting a personality similar to their idol, dressing for the personality, making choices based upon what their idol would choose, and even going so far as to take on the name or create a new one that mirrors the desires of the idol chosen by our subject.
6: Next, the subject obsessively obtains an ever increasing supply of parphanelia..what the subject can't buy he/she makes him/herself.
5: The created image is complete and the subject prepares to take on this identity by forcing others to see him/her as the chosen idol.
4: Extreme obsessive stage in which the subject relates any and all incoming sensory information to the idol in some way...ranging from "That cloud looks like Joker's face. It must be a sign!" to "This song reminds me of Harley in Mad Love when she gets pushed out the window."
3: A costume is created, a tattoo is obtained, or some other way of completely taking on the new role.
2: Props are obtained to accompany new role i.e. masks, giant mallets, Charile Chaplin posters, cyanide, card deck of all Jokers, ect.
1: New personality is fully in control. Person still is now a full fledged Harleite with a newly adapted personality fit for working alongside, or actually becoming, or being an apostle of the Joker and/or Harley.
Compiled by Kabuki



1: Yer favorite sandwich is a cheese sandwich. 
2: You cry when you see the end of Worlds Finest. 
3: Bats and robins are the only animals that scare you. 
4: Your favorite colors are black, red, and green 
5: You either died yer hair blonde or you are a blonde. 
6: You frame all joker cards. 
7: You hate all motor cycles except harleys. 
8: You get crushes on guys with green hair. 
9: You beg the pet stores to sell heynas. 
10: You've made your own harley costume. 
11: Pudding is your favorite sweet. 
12: You hate the names Bruce, Dick, Barbra Tim, Clark, and Lex. 
13: You call al guys Mistah and the first letter of their first name. 
14: You go to the circus just to see the clowns. 
Compiled by Harley's Angel

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