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Casting Call

All this horrible terrible frightening talk about me being in the next film!!After seein what they did to my bella Ivy, I'm REALLY sacred pple!!! I hope they lock that idea up and throw away the key!!! But that's Hollywood for ya, and if they're gonna do it - well at least I can find the right person for the job!Here's a few suggestions for who would - and who WOULDN'T - make a good me!!Have you got one? Well send me a pic and a why and why not! 

ARLEEN SORKIN

WHY: Why? WHY?!??!?!?Well I wuz just based around her entire person!! I mean cmon DUUUUUUUHHHH!!!! She's got the right look, the right bounce, the right voice the right personality the right EVERYTHING!!! Heck, SHE IS ME!!!!!

WHY NOT: erm.....mmm.....hmmm.....thinking thinking.....erm.....she's too old maybe? I don't agree!! I think she could do it and kick butt! If they could pass Luke Perry off as a teenager then they can pass a 40yr old Sorkin as a 28 yr old Harley!!!


JENNIFER TILLY

WHY: She's just gorgeous!! She has a light, bubbly air, perfect for me, and she's sexy as Hell!! And as she demonstrated very well recently in Bride of Chucky she's wonderfully capable of playing obsessed amours!!! She'd be wonderful.

WHY NOT: The only real reason I can think of is she doesn't have quite the right look. I know she's perfectly capable of everythin else!!!!


JENNY MCARTHY

WHY: I can't think of a single reason!

WHY NOT: Look at the woman! She's hideous! She's a great big plastic barbie doll with no style,no personality no naturalness, no brains NO NOTHIN! Add to that she's incredibly gross and crass!And that just simple ain't me! So there!! Nyah! If she even LOOKS like goin be in this film I'm becoming a SERIAL KILLER! NO JOKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!


DREW BARRYMORE

WHY: Well...she's blonde and cute. I guess she has the right look.

WHY NOT: I don't think she has the acting capability to pull off this role REALLY well. She could fudge her way thru it, but at the end of the day she wouldn't have the right sparkle!


LORI PETTY

WHY: she's bubbly, cute and tough!!! She's got a sorta helium inflated voice too ;) She also consider Tank Girl to be her comic counterpart so she wouldn't do any stupid interviews where she goes "oo er I relate to Harley *sooo* much blah blah blah!!"

WHY NOT: I'm just not 100% she would melt into the role and make it come truly alive!!!


MADONNA

WHY: Should there be a reason? There is no reason, no logic and no sensibility behind this suggestion!!

WHY NOT: I'm even more against Mads being me than I am about Mcarthy being me if that's possible!!Let's face it folks - she may be a great performer but she can't act to SAVE HER LIFE!! She also doesn't have anywhere near my style, wit or personality. DEFINETELY a real FUDGE of a choice!!! If she were me, I'd bomb WB Studios! (I will!!)


MIRA SORVINO

WHY:Erm....she's blonde (?!??!)

WHY NOT: Not a good enough actress, not the right type,wouldnt' understand the role wouldn't fit the role.'Nuff said!


HUDSON LEICK

WHY: She's athletic, sexy, cute and as she has displayed beautifully in Xena is well capable of playin an obsessed psychotic!! (just change the obsession from "destroy Xena" to "adore Joker"!!!!)

WHY NOT: At first, as much as I love Xena and Callisto, I din't like this suggestion, but I find myself warming to it. I think Hudson'd do a really quite good job!I think she may be a bit lackin in the hips department and also a bit hard of face as far as look goes,but in everythin else I think she'd pass damn fine!


JENNA ELFMAN

WHY: Several pple suggested her to me and I think it's just cuz she plays a character who's meant to be cute, bubbly and sexy on that Dharma and Greg show.Oh yeah and she's blonde.

WHY NOT:I watched that show a few times, and frankly folks, she tries too hard. Being cute bubbly and sexy doesn't come easy to her, and we don't need a Harley whose performance is forced! It's gotta be like second nature!!!


SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR

WHY: I guess cuz she can do real Tae Kwon Do!

WHY NOT: A name that has come up a few times in the fanclub, but I just can't seem why! This suggestion is totally beyond me! Nothin smacks of me at all!!! I just can't understand why she's been brought up! This suggestion is totally bizaare! I don't think she's a crap actress or nothin, but I do not think she has anythin even remotel resemblin me and I don't think she could do the part!


CHRISTINA APPLEGATE

WHY: She's a pretty,talented actress who's blonde. I like her as a performer, I think she's pretty good!!

WHY NOT: Hmm...somehow, I really can't see her as meezie! Even her bimbo on Married with Children wuzn't really nothin like me, and while she's a good performer, we need somebody who's gonna really get inta the role!


JULIA ROBERTS

WHY: Another one I can't think of a reason to choose.

WHY NOT: What exactly is attractive bout this chick? Her mouth is too big she can't act and her laughter sounds like a donkey!! In no way shape or form can I see her as me - it would SUCK SUCK SUCK!


FRAN DRESCHER

WHY: Well,she's got the voice, the sass the jewish thing and kinda the dress sense!

WHY NOT: I just can't see her bouncin around, fallin obsessively in love with my Pud doin cartwheels and stuff. I also can't see her blonde!ick! I think the only role she's really good at is playing herself.



SANDRA BULLOCK

WHY: *sigh* this no reason thing is gettin old!

WHY NOT: Another one I simply can't understand how her name wuz brought up! It makes no sense! In no way could this chick bring me to life!!! NO WAY JOSE!!!So there! Yeesh sometimes I wonder if pple really know who I am,these crazy names they come up with!!!!


CHRISTINA RICCI

WHY:She's cute, she's young and she can be blonde. She has an insane freakiness in all her roles, and she's a damn good little actress with quite a bit of appeal!!!!

WHY NOT: well she really wouldn't be so hot in the fight scenes - I also think she's just a little too sullen and sombre for my bubbly personality (gag)!whee!



CAMERON DIAZ

WHY:Blonde,blue eyed and pretty!

WHY NOT: well, she's a sucky actress!!!!!!Also she's a bit tall and not very curvy.(ammendment: After seeing 'Being John Malcovich' I've changed my mind about her being a sucky actress, but I still don't want her to play Harley!)


FAIRUZA BALK

WHY: Yowsers! I remember seein this chick in Return to Oz and wonderin whateva happened to her! She grew up! Well,she's perky, sassy, wicked and has that absolutely killer smile!!!I like this choice, I think she'd make quite a spiffy me!!!

WHY NOT: Again, may not be so great in the fight scenes, but other than that, I think she'd be cool!!


ANGELINA JOLIE

WHY: This gal's name has come up quite a bit in the HQ Fan Club of late as a possible choice. Me, I haven't really seen her in anything but I've been told she's played a pretty cool nutcase in movies before and has a fair amount of sass to her

WHY NOT: I haven't seen her peform much, so I can't say fer certain, but apparently the fighting will need work. I just hope all you HQ Fans have got it right, and she has the ability for Harley attitude!

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