| Written: JUNE, 2001 |
I stand here oozing my self-doubt,
I expected your king’s lies by the ton,
My tiny brother, is rendered soaked and choking,
The little one has honor and questions my motives, my pain.
As the fluids drench my being I move to escape…
That foul muscle we cherish so,
I will ever endeavor more to leave
I harmed you so, so now to you punish,
A masterful sleeper, in your bed of snakes;
A gift was I to offer, even as you return from the enemy.
Are your pleasures fulfilled by the large one,
The king I shall not see thereafter.
Live thee well away, as I need not the sorrow,
Drooping are its branches, bowed by loss,
The blackness overtakes me,
My pains pouring forth from shattered heart,
Down into the deep, sour and curdled pool,
Composed of my rancid beliefs and final betrayal.
Knew only the steady defeat and bitterness,
Your lies unsheathed, even as you say no;
No, but now you confound and drown the little one.
Throat filling on our sweet, dying love.
Lie even to him to make him feel better do you?
I hope so, for at least some honor there can be found.
To explain the heathen’s activities he seeks me.
Truth I tell him and your evilness is laid bare,
And as I die, I feed on your precious Dreams.
The thickness, the puss of regret and misdeeds,
Slows my progress to naught but nothing.
Forgiveness I bear none, my soul empties to.
It beat for you still just moments before.
Until the truth sets it free…free to decay and rot.
Surpriseless it now spews icor of forgotten Dreams.
With the glazed and betrayed eyes I look away.
Will he come to rescue, or merely wait for your coming, defeated?
Sluggish with your foulness, you seek shelter now our house burns.
Delving too far into putrid realms of Deceit.
I envy you this, spiteful one, my hat is off to you;
Causing the blood tears to run, I weep for us, not you.
But is it you the snake in another’s bed?
I fear not the serpent, but others bring attention:
I’ve been infected by you and your poison works well.
Except if you would have to, gaining my treasures before demise.
Venom laden visions of your sweetness enticed me,
Let the dismal logic now point to mine error.
Does he not disgust you as to all others?
I wait the day for such noble occurrences,
As I will be far from these fields, and you will lie alone.
Go in foul union within the castle of misgivings & plaster.
Eat of your sought after fruits, and feast,
And let them withstand the unhealthiness that I am.
Like a tree growing in death, burnt, cracked & dead within.
Outwardly I remain the red wood, massive in substance,
Ah, but the weeping willow now grows within.
Bitter for the light, I hide myself from the rays.
Rooted in lies, I still defend and am cut down by you.
The gentle sap is drunk up with my diminishing patience.
As the well of love, hurts, and runs dry.
May the sun burn out and never shine on this union,
As my will would have it with the last, be miserable.
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