Pick Me Up!!!!!!!
1. That shirt looks very becoming on you....of course if I were on you
I'd be coming too.
2. If I said you had a nice body, would you hold it against
3. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
4. Are your legs tired? Because you've been running through my mind all
5. Is your father a thief? Because he stole the stars from the skies and
put them in your eyes!
6. Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
7. That dress looks nice....Of course, it'd look even better crumpled up
in the corner of my room.
8. Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven's a long way from here.
9. Pardon me, is there a mirror in your pocket? Because I keep seeing
myself in your pants.
10. Hey baby, wanna sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing
that pops up!?
11. Would you like to have breakfast tomorrow? Should I nudge you or
12. (Check female's shirt tag)....Just as I thought, made in heaven!
13. Were your parents Greek gods? Because it takes two gods to make a
14. Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow
15. Nice to meet you, I'm (your name) and you are...gorgeous!
16. Your name is Sandra, huh? Can I call you Sandy? Really, what time?
17. Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a
18. Have you seen (any movie)? Would you like to?
19. My face is leaving in 10 minutes... are you gonna be on it or not?
20. Screw me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Gretchen?
21. Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some?
22. If I gave you a sexy negligee, would there be anything in it for me?
23. I'm new in town, could I get directions to your place?
24. Miss, if you've lost your virginity, could I have the box it came
25. Hi, the voices in my head told me to come talk to you!
26. Do you sleep on your front? Do you mind if I do?
27. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
28. Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation?
No, huh...So you want to go somewhere and talk?
29. That's a nice shirt...could I talk you out of it?
30. (Female at the copy machine) Reproducing, eh? Mind if I help?
31. That dress looks great on you...as a matter of fact, so would I.
32. Hey baby, you want to see something swell?
33. Hi, I'm conducting a feel test to see how many women here have
34. Are you religious? Cause I'm the answer to all your prayers!
35. I love every bone in your body...especially mine.
36. (With hands on shoulders) Oh, those are shoulder blades, I thought
they were wings.
38. Are you O.K.? Because heaven's a long fall from here.
39. You know, I never was to good at math...like if I put you and I
together, I'd get 69.
40. You have pretty eyeballs. Of course they'd be better if they were
eyeing my pretty balls.
41. You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
42. Can I borrow a quarter? Cause my mom told me to call home when I met
the girl of my dreams.
43. Was it love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
44. You're good at math right? Is 69 a perfect square?
45. Was your father a farmer? Because you sure have grown some nice
47. Hey, here's the word for the day: legs. Whatdya say we go upstairs
and spread the word?!
48. Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!
49. Hey Baby! I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you
like a feed bag!
50. Hey Baby! I'd like to use your thighs as earmuffs.
51. Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
52. Make a calling card that says.....Smile if you want to sleep with
me! Then watch your victim try to hold back her smile.
53. Hi, my name's (_____), how do you like me so far?
54. Why don't you sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between
the two of us.
55. Hey baby! Wanna go get some pizza and screw? What you don't like
56. She: (to passing man) Do you have the time? Him: Do you have the
57. Bond. James Bond.
58. You know, I'd really love to screw your brains out, but it appears
someone has already beat me to it.
59. You look like the type of girl who has heard every line in the book.
So, what's one more?
60. Her: What do you think of this (dress, sweater, blouse, etc.) Him: I
like nothing better.
61. Walk up to a lady at a social gathering (party, club, etc.) and
simply ask, "are you ready to go home now?
62. You know, I'd give you a piece of my mind, but I've got more of
63. At the dinner table, if you eat together, pick up the bread and ask,
64. You know, you've got the prettiest teeth I've ever dreamed of coming
65. That's a really nice smile you've got, shame that's not all you are
66. Think you can dance in those shoes?
67. OK, you can stand next to me as long as you don't talk about the
68. Ask girl if she likes jewellery. Then grab your nuts and say, "Then
suck this, it's a gem!"
69. You're 'No Parking' right? Just trying to guess your sign.
70. Why don't you surprise your room-mate/parents and not go home
71. Good looking waitress pouring a drink: Say when! Guy: As soon as I
finish this drink.
72. Lie down. I think I love you.
73. What's a nice girl like you doing with a face like that?
74. I can sense that you're a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a
75. If I weren't so romantic, I'd shoot you.
76. My lenses turn dark in the sunshine of your love.
77. My friend and I have a bet that you won't take off you blouse in a
78. Can you believe that just a few hours ago we'd never even been to
79. I know a great way to burn off the calories from that pastry you
80. Was your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned
81. Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? (Pull your pockets
inside out....) Would you like to?
82. You know I really am James Bond's body double.
83. Stand back, I'm a doctor! You go get an ambulance and I'll loosen
84. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by
85. I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
86. Hey baby, wanna play carnival? That's where you sit on my face and I
guess your age and weight.
87. You: Tickle your ass with a feather? Her: What?! You: I said
'Particular nice weather?'!
88. Hey baby, wanna play train conductor? OK. You sit on my face and
I'll Chew, chew, chew! (choo!)
89. Hey baby, wanna play lion? OK. You go kneel right there and I'll
throw you my meat.
90. Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken leg? No???
Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!
91. Oh, you're a bird watcher....(Whip out your unit and ask) Well,
would you take this for a swallow?
92. Stand back, I'm a police officer! You go call for backup and I'll
93. Do you have a library card? Good, cause I wanna check you out!
94. Your warm eyes melt the iciness of my heart.
95. (At church during a sermon) (Put your arm around your gal...) Honey,
I don't know where he is....(motioning to the preacher) but I do know
I'm here with you.
96. Baby, you look better and better each day...and tonight, you look
97. Here's a quarter....call your room-mate and tell her you won't be
coming home tonight!
98. Hey baby, you smell, let's take a shower together!
99. Baby, you with those curves and me with no brakes! Mmmmm!
100. Hey baby, whatdya say we go behind that rock and get a little
101. I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hands.
102. Can I borrow a quarter? [why?] Cuz I wanna call your mom and thank
103. You're so hot, you melt the plastic in my underwear!
104. Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and
take/eat what I want!
105. Let's go back to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we
106. My name is ______. Just remember that, so you'll know what to
107. Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?
108. Can I flirt with you?
109. Your daddy must have been a baker, cuz you sure have a nice set of
110. [Checking her shirt tag] Just making sure you were the right size!
111. (Grab her ass...) Pardon me, is this seat taken?
112. Is it hot in here? Or is it just you?
113. Can I have directions? (to where?) To your heart!
114. I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
115. So....how am I doin'?
116. How bout you and me go back to my place and get you out of those
117. (Tapping your leg) You just think this is my leg.
118. You know what would look good on you? Me!
119. Excuse me, but I'm a little short on cash, would you mind if we
shared a cab home together?
120. Go up to a girl in a bar, and slip your arm around her, and say,
"Hi Kate!" She says, "I'm not Kate!" And you say, as your hand slips a
little lower, "But you sure feel like her!"
121. She: Gee, I really enjoyed myself tonight!He: Me too. Maybe we
could let our bodies enjoy each other sometime!
122. Pardon me, I was just about to go home and masturbate, and I was
wondering if you would mind if I fantasised about you?
123. I've had a pretty bad day, and it usually makes me feel better to
see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?
124. Overheard in a computer lab: Just because our computers are
incompatible doesn't mean we are!
125. Hey baby, wanna lock crotches and swap gravy?
126. Hey, didn't we go to different schools together?
127. You know, I would die happy if I saw you naked just once!
128. Would you like Gin and plantonic, or would you prefer Scotch and
129. What's your favourite position on extramarital sex?
130. I'm really sorry about Al. It was a lovely funeral. You look
ravishing in black, did you know that? What you need now is a nice
backrub. Are the straps too tight, darling? How tragic. How very, very
131. Hello, Susie. Your mom couldn't make it this afternoon, she asked
me to pick you up and take you home. My, what a pretty dress.
132. Excuse me, do you live around here often?
133. I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade!
134. I've got an itch honey. Lower. Lower. In. Out.
135. I'm on fire baby, can I run through your sprinkler?
136. Sex is a killer. Wanna die happy?
137. I have only three months to live...
138. Hey baby, what's your sign? All you can eat?
139. Hi! I'm Big Brother, and I've been watching you!
140. Where have you been all my life?
141. In the produce department: "How can you tell if these things are
142. Hey, weren't you Miss Virginia last year?
143. Don't worry about it. Nothing that you've ever done before counts.
The only thing that matters is that we're together.
144. I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you been
145. Your daddy must be a drug dealer, cuz you're dope.
146. Hey baby, can I tickle your belly-button from the inside?
147. If I follow you home, will you keep me?
148. Hey, don't I know you? Yeah, you're the girl with the beautiful
149. Go up to a girl and tell her she has nice legs....then ask would
she mind if you named them. She says ok, and you say ok this one is
Thanksgiving and that one is Christmas.....would you mind if I visited
between the holidays?
150. Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?
151. Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?
152. As she's leaving....Hey aren't you forgetting something? She:
153. Have you run into any trees lately? Then how bout a root!
154. Hey baby, you wanna fu*k or should I apologize?
155. If you want me, don't shake me, or wake me, just take me.
156. Want to see my stamp collection?
157. Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and
it ain't floppy.
158. Hi, do you want to have my children? (assuming the answer is 'no'),
OK then, can we just practice?
159. Excuse me, you have some lipstick on your tooth, mind if I lick it
160. Do you know how to use a whip?
161. Do you wash your panties with Windex? Cuz I keep seeing myself in
162. Are those space pants? Cuz your ass is out of this world!
163. How do you like your eggs cooked? Why? Well I just wanted know what
to make for you in the morning!
164. Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel!
165. You: Hi, wanna fuck? Her: No! Me: Mind lying down while I have one?
166. Baby, I'm an American Express lover....you shouldn't go home
167. Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
168. Excuse me, maam, is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?
169. You: I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. You: Well then,
170. I've got the ship, you've got the harbor...what say we tie up for
171. Would you like to come over to my place later? You can bring some
friends because my face seats five.
172. Wanna go halves in a baby?
173. You: I hear you like to sing. Her: Yeah... You: (Whip out your pud)
Well, then step up to the mike!
174. Pardon me, what pickup line works best with you?
175. Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynaecologist.
176. Can I see your tan lines?
177. I'm not trying anything, I always put my hands there.
178. Beauty is only a light switch away...
179. If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing
180. Do you have a map? I just get lost in your eyes.
181. Do you have a boyfriend? Well, when you want a MANfriend, come and
talk to me.
182. I'll bet you 10 bucks I could get all your clothes off in
183. I was sitting here holding this cigarrete and I realized I'd rather
be holding you.
184. If your parents hadn't met I'd be very a very unhappy man right
185. Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? No!
D'ya wanna do lunch?
186. Hey baby, sit on my face and let me get to 'nose' you better!
187. You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves
from afar] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
189. Motion your finger for girl to come over to you, when she gets
there say, I just made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do
190. Hey baby, are you a glover? NO? Well, I am, wanna wear me?
191. I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away!
192. Is it hot in here, or is it just you?
193. Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you
turn me on!
194. Stand still so I can pick you up!
195. Hi, we're taking a survey and I need your phone number. If you give
it to me, I'll call you and tell you the results.
196. I didn't know that angels could fly so low!
197. Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!!
198. Do you like music?(Yes) Good, I've got a great stereo in my car!
199. Are you looking for Mr. Right, or Mr. Right Now?
200. Man: (beckons woman with finger) Woman:(Approaches man) Man: Do you
always cum when someone fingers you?
201. Girl, you look so good, I could put you on a plate and sop you
upwith a biscuit!
202. Really like your peaches, wanna shake your tree.
203. Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with
204. Pardon me, but are those stretch marks around your mouth?
205. Do you want to hear a joke that'll make you laugh your tits off?..
Oh, you've already heard it..
206. I like your butt, can I wear it as a hat?
207. Pardon me, but are you a screamer or a moaner?
208. I think I can die happy now, cause I've just seen a piece of
209. Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.
210. Do you know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly colour
211. Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business.
216. I'd spend money on you I haven't even made.
217. I would give you more money than a show dog could jump over.
218. Baby, you look good coming AND going!
219. I'd marry your cat just to get in the family.
220. I can't decide if you are a better person than you are a woman or
you are a better woman than you are a person.
221. So...Do you fuck, or do I owe you an apology?
222. Well hello there! How you screwin; glad to eat ya!
223. I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you.
224. Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then,
allow me to introduce myself.
225. If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.
226. He: You look like my third wife. She: Oh, how many time have you
been married? He: Twice.
227. Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've
broken the ice, will you sleep with me?"
228. I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you.
229. I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south.
230. You know what I like about you? My arms.
231. What did you say? Oh, I thought you were talking to me.
232. So, what are the chances that we can engage in anything more than
233. You make my software turn to hardware!
234. As long as I have a face, you'll have a place to sit.
235. Was you father an alien? No, why? Because there's nothing else like
you on earth!
236. Hey baby, How would you like to join me in some math? We'll add you
and me, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply!
237. Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!
238. Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you!
239. Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an
240. Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.
241. You must be a hell of a thief 'cause you stole my heart from across
242. There are 256 bones in the human body. How'd ya like one more?
243. As the sun illuminates the moon and the stars, so let us illuminate
244. Are you going places or just being taken?
245. If god made anything prettier, I hope he kept it for himself.
246. I'll show you mine if you'll show me yours?
247. Gee Girl, your eyes remind me of crescent wrenches, every time I
look into them my nuts tighten!
248. Hey baby I want to take you to Hawaii. To the island of "comona,
wanna, lay ya!
249. If you have a fake leg (or if you don't), rub hers and if she says
anything say "I'm sorry, I thought that was my leg.
250. Baby, if you were a flower, I would pick you!
251. Baby, you're so fine, you're my 9.9...
252. Hey, I just noticed you looking at me across the room. I'll give a
minute to catch your breath!
253. What's the best thing to come out of a penis? the wrinkles!
254. Hey baby, is your name Gillette? Cuz you're the best a man can get!
255. You know, I have a romantic side....let's go back to my room and
see how long it takes you to find out!
256. Girl, you must be a tater tot, cuz you're Orida!
257. (As they walk past) Why don't you come back here and fall in
258. Girl, you've got more curves than a back-country road!
259. Baby, you're hotter than Georgia asphalt on a summer day!
260. Hey baby, will it bother you if I sleep in the nude?
261. Girl, you got more legs than a bucket of chicken!
262. She: You're so sweet... He: Well, it's easy to be sweet when you're
talking to sugar!
263. Hi, my name's coffee, cuz I'll keep you up all night!
264. Hey baby, you look like you need a one-way ticket on the roly-poly
express ride of love!
265. I say your picture in the dictionary today, it was under KABAAM!
266. I hope you do
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