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Dazed and Confused Quotes



Slater:"Fixin' to be a lot better, man!"
Tony:"There I am, and um I'm gettin' it on, with this perfect female body. But..."
Mike:"What? What what?"
Tony:"I can't say."
Mike:"C'mon, man, you can't get me built up like that and then not deliver. OK, c'mon, a perfect female body. It's not a bad start."
Tony:"But the head of Abraham Lincoln."
Mike:"'I voluntarily agree to not indulge in any alcohol, drugs, or engage in any other activity that may in any way jeopardize the years of hard work that we as a team have committed to a championship season in '76'!"
Pink:"What bullsh*t."
Tony::"You guys are actually signing this crap?"
Pink:"Apparently."
Cynthia:"You guys, what are they gonna do next? Like give you urine tests or something?"
Mike:"You see, I just didn't know that drugs and alcohol were such a big problem that they had to resort to neo-McCarthyism."
Raye:"and there you all were in class trying to list all the Gilligan's Island episodes without even a hint of irony."
Shavonne:"What in the hell are you talking about, girl?"
Kaye:"You weren't thinking about it, were you?" <
Shavonne:"Gilligan's Island?"
Kaye:"It's what's called the male pornographic fantasy."
Shavonne:"Oh my.."
Kaye:"Think about it. You're basically alone on a deserted island with two readily available women. One, a seductive sex goddess type, the other, a healthy girl next door type with a nice butt. So guys have it all, the madonna and the whore. Women get nothing. We get a geeky guy, an overweight middle aged guy, and some nerdy scientific type. I mean--"
Jodi:"The professor is sexy."
Pink:"I mean, how many times have you gotten laid strictly because you're a football player?"
Don:"I don't know. A few, probably."
Pink:"Don, all I'm saying is I bet we could do just as well if we were in a band or something."
Teacher:"OK, guys, one more thing. Hey, this summer when you're being inendated with all this bi-centennial, fourth of July, bru-ha-ha just remember what you're celebrating. That's the fact that a bunch of slave-owning aristocratic white males did'nt want to pay their taxes."
Darla:"Like, what did she say? I'm just interested. I think it's funny. I mean, what does she call me?"
Simone:"You hang out with her. You know it. I mean, we know they talk about us."
Shavonne:"Nothing."
Simone:"We don't care."
Darla:"Oh, c'mon, nothing?! That's a lie when you do that. I mean, I know you're lying you b*tch!"
Shavonne:"You swear you're not gonna get mad?"
Darla:"No, we're not gonna get mad! I think it's a riot. I don't care what she thinks."
Simone:"C'mon, tell us!"
Shavonne:"All right, all right. She called you a b*tch and you a slut."
Simone:"A slut? She called me a slut?! Oh, that b*itch! I'm gonna kick her ass!"
Shavonne:"I thought you said you weren't gonna get mad."
Simone:"I'm not mad."
Tony:"You're not going to law school? So what do you want to do?"
Mike:"I wanna dance!!"
Slater:"You cool man?"
Mitch:"Like, how?"
Slater:(chuckles)"OK."
Pink:"He was just aking if you get high."
Mitch:"Oh, you mean like, smoke pot?"
Slater:"All right, check you later!"
Don:"Slater, man, why you always such a dork, man?"
Slater:"What are you talking about?"
Don:"'Check you later! Check you later!'"
Slater:"Hey, man, get off my case, man!"
Don:"Chicks don't wanna here that sh*t!"
Slater:"Chicks don't wanna here anything, man. The girls in our classes, they're all prudes, man. It's the girls ahead of us, man. They were wild! Our class, they're worthless, man!"
Don:"Well maybe you've just never got past the sniffing butts stage, that's what that sounds like to me!"
Slater:"Hey, man, it's quality not quantity, and, and, and just wait 'til I get to college."
Don:"Yeah, when I get to college all I'm gonna do is bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang!"
Tommy:"We're in the big time now! We're freshmen, where all the girls will be putting out!"
Wooderson:"That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age."
Slater:"Listen, I'm gonna give you shotgun, but I want you to know that it's only because I'm going inside. You keep that in mind."
Wooderson:"Well listen, you oughtta ditch the two geeks you're in the car with now and get in the car with us. But that's all right, we'll worry about that later."
Wooderson:"I love those red heads, man!"

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