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New Atlantis- Hiro's home

Hiro's Comedy Palace- Held together with spit and kitten fur

Welcome to the future.

It's broken!!

Hello and welcome to my homepage. My name is

Hiro Protagonist

, and I'd like to welcome you to this, the second of my web pages. This page aims to enlighten and invigorate, to stimulate the senses via various philosophical and humourous prattlings and links to other places that have influenced me and may help you in becoming a better person.

Right enough of that hippie bull shit on with the show.

My Jokes page- quite a few jokes. Not for the faint hearted

Click here to read about the TRUE Jesus H. Christ.

The myths of childhood, cruelly destroyed.

What's REALLY going on! News stuff. (with a dig at L. Ron Blair in there as well!)

John "Hannibal" Smith and Howling Mad Murdoch

2 men who have been very large influences in my life. Murdoch 'cos he's so crazy cool and Hannibal because of his belief in himself, and all round cheesiness ("I love it when a plan comes together!")

Personally I think the A-team is one of the best programs ever made and if you live in England and you have Sky you should watch it on Bravo every weekday night at 8:00p.m. But I'm not forcing you into anything, please don't think that.

To go to a really good A-team web site click below:

Sockii's A-team web page

And for some hilarious Mr T related shenanigans click here:

Mr. T Shrine

Hiro's cruelty to animals corner.

"Cruelty to animals?"

I hear you weep, but yes it's true brutality to animals does exist. It's sad but true. Like this cat here who is used as a 'backup' when a DJ's fingers have got "spinning wackout cramp" and are in dire need of a rest. The cat is brought out of it's box where it is kept under someones stairs and roughly dumped on the turntables. A cats legs aren't long enough to reach the ground so they cannot operate the decks as would a human, and so the necessity to leave them like furry bricks on the record turntable, scratching at records and making terrible, distressed mewling sounds, which dancers and clubbers think is great and really 'hip'. Bastards.

Or this dog for instance. Even though this little fella is only a cartoon dog (not to be confused with 'Car dogs' which is worse) and thus NOT REAL it is the best I could do to illustrate the sheer brutality of "Space dogs".

These guys are kept locked in cold dark rooms pretty much from the day they're born, a few pinpoints of light coming in through special membranes in the walls, to simulate space. These dogs could be sent to space as company for those humans in distress on stricken space stations, the cramped conditions that the dogs are kept in only makes them more loving. But such dogs are rare, those who don't die from the crazies, are made to sit an exam, which few dogs pass, because their canine paws are not adjusted to hold a pen. Those dogs who don't make it are cruelly shot in front of a crowd of small children, who are disturbed for life, but learn a valuble lesson about failure.

This may look amusing or even 'cute', yes I can hear you- "Ahh look at the little pup, isn't he sweet with his little space helmet on" but as I have said reality is much harsher than a picture of a dog dressed in a space suit.

As you can see this monkey doesn't agree with my teachings. Are you like the monkey? Are you frowning on what I have done? Are you happy to be likened to a chimp? This place is not for you, leave now before you evolve.

So, you survived the 'monkey' test? Well try this, it's my South Park sound bites test. If you don't find these pant wettingly funny then die.

mrhat.wav

And one gratuitious Father Ted sound:

knickers.wav

Enjoyed by all? I should think so.

Would you like to go the places where I got these from?

South Park:

South Park WAVS THIS PLACE IS NOW OFFICIALLY DEAD! DON'T EVEN TRY POKING IT WITH A STICK!

Father Ted:

The Craggy Island Examiner

So what now? Well heres some more links:

Well this is a page that has been a long time in the coming. It is my Australian (convict) mate Brad's page, it is nice. (I'm only joking about him being a convict. Not all Australians are convicts, just quite a lot of them.)

Koala Bear's Tree house

My brother's homepage, a bit more work in this one:

Caspar-one monkey with a keyboard doing his bit

My other web page:

Hiro Protagonist's "cool stuff what I like" page.

Personally I don't rate it to this one though.

Also one of my other favorite sites, great place to make friends:

The hotel chat

Great place to hang (murderers), maybe I'll seeya there someday... but I doubt it.

Rasputins Homepage

THIS PAGE IS ALSO NOW DEFUNCT! THIS IS DUE TO THE LAZINESS OF IT'S FAT OWNER!

Fez's page of stuff

This is my comedy buddy, and best mate, Fez's page. He's a bit obsessed by the Pixies though..... T'shall be his downfall

Tic's webpage

This is my bud Tic's page. I helped him set it up (I like to think). Have a gander. However beware of this place if you are afraid of spontaneous Spice Girl whining coming from your computer speakers.

You got a problem? Something not working? Want a fight to the death? E-mail me with the problem or the meeting place. Or sign my guestbook you idiots.

E-mail me at:

hiromax@hotmail.com

Make a mess in my guestbook

Guffaw at the efforts of others

OR... Sign my all new Slambook! It Asks You Questions! You Answer! Via the Gift Of the Keyboard! View My SlamBook!

Sign My SlamBook!

This page has been tested on animals. Of the sample of 10 monkeys who read this page, 7 reacted with complete indifference. 2 became homosexual, 1 ......... ESCAPED!!! He was last seen attempting to purchase shaving apparatus with a stolen credit card. He has still not been caught. He should not be approached, and on no account show him textbooks of nucleur physics.

Click HERE to vote for this page as a Starting Point Hot Site.

If you're going to fight you can go elsewhere.

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Email (just in case you forgot or cannot be bothered to scroll up): hiromax@hotmail.com