To Cut or Not to Cut...Playgirl Magazine April 96.

From the April 1996 North American/ U.S. Version of Playgirl

Several weeks ago, my boyfriend and I were having a heated debate at 5 a.m. in our local diner. As it sometimes happens with couples who have been dating for about a year, the subject of children had slipped into the conversation. Then , much to the dismay of my aching head, it made a left turn and veered into.. the circumcision zone.

My Irish (as in, born and raised there) beau was adamant.

“No son of mine..” the speech began, punctuated by a fist pounding on the Formica countertop. He quickly pointed out that while circumcision is the rule in America, it’s the exception in most other parts of the world, and that no one was going anywhere near his kids with the intention of snipping off anything below the diaper line.

“When it comes to your manhood,” he proclaimed, “there is no such thing as extra!”

“Pray for girls,” I replied, only half kidding as I found myself remembering bck to the early days of my own sexual awakening. Late one night in the college dorm, when the talk trned to affairs of the libido-- as if often did-- the topic of “the uncut wonder worm” reared its princely head, only to be met by a resounding, near unaminous chorus of, “Ew, that is so gross!”

Being products of the ‘70’s, my peers and I were indoctrinated into the mindset of uncut= unclean. Throught sheer coincidence , I’d never seen-much less handled- an uncut specimen “in the flesh” until the ‘90’s. which only reinforced what by then I’d come to believe.

And I don’t think my experience was atypical of American women my page. The uncut penis had gotten a really bad rap in the past couple hundred years in this country, and will probably take a lot of rethinking to overcome its negative rep.

According to Marilyn Fayre Milos, R.N. a spokesperson for NOCIRC (the National Organization of Circumcision Information Resources Centers, a group committed to research, education, advocacy and activism to end the surgical altering of human sexual organs), “Before the 1800’s, circumcision was performed as a religious ritural or a puberty rite only. The origins of circumcision began in English speaking countries as a way to prevent masturbation- in boys and girls- which in the bad old days was blamed for causing a myriad of ills from blindness and madness to hairy palms and tuberculosis.

”At the turn of the century, it became apparent that nothing short of death would prevent masturbation, and that masturbation didn’t cause anything anyway, so by 1900 we got a new theory of disease called “The Germ Theory”. The excuse became, “If that littl eboy has a foreskin all of those germs are going to get under there’. And you still hear that today. No one says to a girl, “Oh, honey we have to remove the hood of your clitoris-your foreskin- because it had germs under it.”

Oddly enough, though we learn to discard many of the taboo’s we’re brought with as our sexual horizons expand, this one sterotype persists. In an informal survey I conducted of about 10 women who ranged in age from their early 20’s to their late ‘40’s, all stated a preference (however slight) for members of the circumcised persuasion.

”It just looks funny to me,” confessed Paige, a 27-year old administrative assistant. “Like one of the Seven Dwarfs who wore the funny hat. Dopey? Sleepy?

And appearance isn’t the only aspect, about a foreskin that women find daunting. Whether a man is circumcised or not is no barometer of his hygience, but for some, one bad apple really can spoil the whole barrel. “I had a really awful experience with the guy I was living with for a while,” Kate, a 34-year old software editor told me. “He wasn’t circumcised- and frankly, he just always ahd that funky smell, so I never wanted to go down on him. I eventually realized that he had a lot of bad habits when it came to both sex and hygiene, but by then, the idea of an uncircumcised cock had become a real turn off, and whenever a new guy unzipped his pants, the thought of Velveeta would pop into my head.”

Well, there’s good news and there’s bad news. The good news is that since uncircumcised penises are thought by many to be more sensative than circumcised ones, men who have them maybe more tender, compassionate lovers.

Explains, Milos, “The gland of the head of the penis, just like the glans of the clitoris, is meant to be an internal organ, covered and protected. (web masters note: some women actually Do have clitoris’s that protrude past their labia lips.) Once you take the cap off a ball point pen and let it air out, it dries up. The same thing happens to the head of the penis. When you remove the covering , the head becomes hardened and callused (from all that friction and flopping around)”.

The bad news, however, according to sex therapist/educator Patti Britton, Phd, is that this same increased sensitivity can lead to premature ejaculation. “The trigger tends to go off a lot easier,” she says.

Another logistical obstacle you may encounter is that with the extra skin involved, it’s often (web masters note: but NOT always..) more difficult to get a condom over an uncircumcised penis. Should you run into this problem with your man, Britton suggest trying larger condons. She recommends Trojan Magnums, which, she explains, are not the longest, but the widest condoms she’s found on the market. The extra girth should allow you to bag your uncircumcised man comfortably.

Though I admit that sex with a “caped crusader” was an acquired taste, it was definitely worth the time it took to plug into the learning curve. For many women, me included, the biggest stumbling block was learning to perform oral sex comfortably on an uncut lover.

”It’s an odd sensation to place your mouth around moving skin,” points out Britton. Don’t worry if it takes you some time to adjust as with anything new, practice and a good attitude will make all the difference.

”If he’s your first uncircumcised lover, the experience will be different. But rather than concentrate on negative stereotypes, you can break them with play. He’s got something you’ve never dealt with before, so instead of fearing it, celebrate it.” She even suggests giving his member a cute nick-name, dressing it up in costume or decorating it with user-friendly body paints to accentuate-rather than minimize-his special accessory.

If you have any qualms about the cleanliness factor, there are a couple of mutually enjoyable ways to insure your man’s dick is shipshape before he climbs ahoard, which can easily be incorporated into your lovemaking repertoire. Britton points out that many men have the same issues about going down on women that women have about men, so hygiene is key.

She recommends “ritualized, shared bathing” as a means to romanticize the experience for both partners and take care of the hygiene issue at the same time. Here are a couple of ways to get started:

1. The Shower

Many couples already know the sensual joy of showering together. Using mild soap, lather him up from head to toe, paying special attention to his love muscle. Sudsing his shaft often results in the dual-benefit of making him clean and hard. Some guys enjoy this so much that they may come right then and there, which necessitates starting all over again.. but that’s not so bad either.

2. Place a towel and washclothe next to your bed, along with a bowl of warm, oil sceneted for herb-infused water.

Dip the cloth in the water, gently pull back his foreskin and wipe your worries away. Be thorough but gentle at all times. Scrubbing is a definitely a no-no! If you use any form of latex contraceptives, steer clear of products that are not water based. Britton cautions that when you are using anything that comes into contact with mucous membranes, it must be 100% natural and chemical free. (Try the Kama Sutra product line, available from retailers of sex products nationwide.)

Britton also advises one good way to acclimate yourself to making love to any new man is to de-emphasie the genitals as “The Main Event”. She says that too much of the focus is placed on genital stimuation during love making. “Work on making sex a whole person/whole body experience. Concentrate on other areas of the body. Create romantic, erotic touching with a focus on pleasure, not orgasm.”

”We are just coming to realize that the foreskin is erotogenic tissue,” says Milos. “It’s heavily laden with nerve endings. Women know that you don’t want someone touching the head of your clitoris directly, you always use the clitoral hood. That’s our foreskin.

Web Masters Note: Some Women Do enjoy direct clitoral stimulation while some do not.To say that all do NOT is a gross overstatement and simplification of female sexuality.

The spot just underneath where the outside and the inside of the foreskin meet is a real erotic hot button for men. The owmen who knows this and uses her tongue along that area can treat her man to some great foreplay.

Another wonder zone for your uncut lover is called the frenulum (or the Frenner band) It runs from the urethral slit all the way down the length of the foreskin and encircles it. Its function is to hold a moveable part of the body to a non-moveable one (we have them under the tongue and the clioris as well). For the man who is intact, the Frenner band is filled with sex receptors and is thought by many in the Anti-Circumcision and Foreskin Reconstruction movements (yes, it is possible in some cases to restore a foreskin via stretching or surgery) to be an orgasmic trigger.

These advocates also claim that for a man who has been circumcised, whatever part of the frenulum that is left behind becomes the most important, sensitive part of the man’s body. Creative manipulation of this tissue, either with the hands or mouth can send your man into raptures of ecstasy in no time flat.

As with any other prejudice, my distaste for the uncircumcised penis was due to ignorance. After I got acquainted with one “first hand” and realized my misconceptions had been unfounded, I was pleasantly surprised to learn that the “something extra” on an uncut penis afforded yet on emore thing with which I could create enjoyment for my partner. His arousal was a big turn on for me-creating a win-win situation for all concerned.

The bottom line where your pleasure is concerned is that once a man is erect and hard, you won’t see or feel the difference between the cut and the uncut. Though some might disagree, the noble trouser soldier works well with or without the protective helmet. It’s like the size issue: As long as you care for a guy and he tries to please you, whatever equipment he has is fine. (From Femsexuality on Geocities. http:// www.geocities.com/Wellesley/1889.)