World peace starts at home, within each of us. Even international
events are affected by the willingness of individuals to be (or not to
be) kind and considerate. Gandhi and Hitler are two notable examples. No
doubt others come to mind.
When someone seems to have acted unkindly, or hurt your
feelings, or offended you in some way, consider the fact that there just
might be more to it than is apparent. Maybe they are acting in response
to circumstances you are completely unaware of. Any of a number of other
things may be affecting them, such as shyness, stress
overload, health, money, illness or loss of some kind. Or there might have
been some mis-communication so that expectations were not in sync.
Instead of lashing out, or reacting instinctively in a
negative way, resolve to just try being the good guy here. Create
an opportunity to be kind. Extend yourself, and evoke your higher nature.
See yourself as resourceful, serene, refined, confident, and just BE NICE.
It feels good! And it is contagious.
There is a difference between Shame
and Guilt." Guilt says I've done something wrong; shame says
is something wrong with me. A child raised with lots of strict
and very little forgiveness gets accustomed to not listening to his feelings.
He is emotionally numb, and much more prone to getting out of control under
extreme circumstances, to have low self-esteem and feel same and guilt.
His parents didn't trust him. He doesn't trust himself.
On the other hand, a child raised with principles
rather than rules knows how to make a value judgement and do the right
thing. His parents trusted him, and he trusts himself to find the appropriate
mode of feeling and behavior.
A child taught to be ashamed of his own body would quite
likely think nothing of being in denial about addictions to nicotine, alcohol,
drugs or worse. Alan
Watts wrote that like bad parents, religions too often keeps people
in tow by forbidding every natural human impulse, and then making them
feel ashamed that they cannot live up to impossible or super-human standards.
One doesn't need to be religious to be ashamed, but they usually go together.
In fact someone raised with very strict rules often ends
up in the clergy, the military, or some other situation where their decisions
are made for them. They are also much more prone toward escapism of all
kinds, obesity and depression
or even crime and violence. Someone who has never been treated with respect
has no respect for themself or for others. But treating someone with respect
earns respect in return, and builds the character of that person at the
Children certainly want boundaries and desirve to have
examples of appropriate modes of feeling and behavior. But where free will
is squashed the result is frustration, anger, and ultimately despair. Especially
in matters of intimacy, kindness is the best role model.
If you weren't parented in the way you wanted, you will
find a lot of healing in parenting someone else in the right way. If you
find yourself lapsing into unkindness, then find ways of being kind to
yourself and see yourself and thouse around you as deserving kindness.
" Perhaps we're too embarrassed to change or
too frightened of the consequences of showing that we actually care. But
why not risk it anyway? BEGIN
TODAY! Carry out an act of kindness,
with no expectation of reward or punishment. Safe in the knowledge that
one day, someone somewhere might do the same for you."
- Princess Diana
Just as a "Talking
Stick" can be used to promote respect and kindness, this page can be
used in a similar way. Simply e-mail this page or its location to communicate
that you are interested in kindness and understanding. If you send this
link to someone it means you are willing to take a step in the direction
of compassionate understanding and kindness.
The ACTS OF KINDNESS
movement was sparked by a book published by Conari Press in 1993 and grew
nationally, spreading through classrooms, churches, hospitals, corporations,
merchants, municipalities, and service clubs. It has been recognized and
applauded by President Clinton; state, county, and municipal governments
nationwide; and media outlets such as The Oprah Winfrey Show, The Leeza
Show, and ABC News.
Acts of Kindness Week is a grass roots awareness campaign and celebration
of the power of Random Acts of Kindness as a counterbalance to random acts
of violence. The goal is to reverse the tide of anger and violence in our
society by increasing self-esteem and deepening our connection with others
through the practice of simple, day-to-day kindness to our fellow humankind.
"Random acts of kindness are those sweet or lovely things we do for no
reason except that, momentarily, the best of our humanity has sprung into
full bloom..." (Daphne Rose Kingma, from the book Random
Acts of Kindness, Conari Press.
Acts of Kindness groups of many women and men have signed up to spend
as little as 5 minutes a day just making someone else smile. There are
33 Heartfelt "Stories of
Kindness" in a Collection of Stories, Random Acts of Kindness Edition,
by Rebecca Ryan Resources. Ellie's
Angels is a group of volunteers bound together with a single and simple
goal: to create gifts of love and kindness for the terminally ill. There
is an extensive list
of ways to be of service in your community. Still other suggested
Random Acts of Kindness you can practice are here.
IN KINDNESS IS A WAY OF LIFE, by Rose Morningstar, tells of the Native
American approach to the practice of kindness. Kindness
for Everyone is an interactive magazine dedicated to the promotion
of acts of kindness as a way to stop acts of violence. Also, The
Buddha's Teaching on Loving-kindness is a classic text on these matters.
is an excellent way to gain inner peace and strengthen inner resources.
Here is an introduction and many links on the topic. Kindness
Meditation Practice can be used to develop concentration and to develop
the quality of kindness, according to a book by the same name, authored
by Jack Kornfield.
Bo Lozoff and Ram Dass came up with the idea to help
prisoners to use their prisons as ashrams if they were tired enough
of seeing themselves as convicts just biding their time until they were
released. Motherheart -
a resource that encourages nurturing in all aspects of
life. There are over 300 links plus stunning art with cogent and lucid
The Kindness Society
reminds us what a happier world this would be if each one of us were to
be always just as kind as we could be. Earth would be almost heaven if
all unkindness were eliminated from our lives. Links
about Random Acts of Kindness - a place to share your stories with
others and help spread kindness. KINDNESS
Search-Engine(tm) -by Dale E. Friesen. This site helps find other sites
about "Random acts of Kindness". Kindness
Incouragement lists quotes to provide a new perspective, and you can
email a brief description of your act of kindness.
Acts of Kindness and Senseless Beauty is a site is dedicated to recognizing
those beautiful, faceless, nameless, people out there that do things of
their own free will that help out someone they don't even know. Start a
chain of free giving. Join this conspiracy
of generosity which will infect the populace with random acts of kindness.
Kindness Home Page will introduce you to an interactive magazine dedicated
to the promotion of acts of kindness as a way to stop acts of violence.
Studies show that over 80% of all children enter school
feeling good about themselves. By fifth grade, that percentage has dropped
to 20% and by twelfth grade it is only 5%. It is the day to day peer violence
in the form of "put-downs" and bullying behaviors in our schools and families
that eventually erodes away the positive feelings of our young people.
Students in all grades often show they care by helping others. Here are
some random sightings of their kindness
in action. Kindness
Is Contageous, CATCH IT!Here is a Program Guide For Elementary Schools,
sponsored by www.stop-violence.org.
Also Helping Young People to Change the World is KJ
it Forward - Official Web site for the motion picture "Pay it Forward"
from Warner Bros.
The premise of the novel Pay It Forward, by Catherine
Ryan Hyde is one that any person can implement in his or her own life,
at any time. It begins with doing a favor for another person-- without
any expectation of being paid back. Indeed one would request that the recipient
of that favor do the same for someone else: ideally for three other people.
The unconditional favors can be large or small.
SKM links - Here
are more related web sites, which you may like to visit and share others'
thoughts on kindness. If you come across similar web sites, do let us know
so that we can include them on this list for everyone to share.
Tao - (article) balance in a crazy world.
homepage you can send as e-mail. Or you can just send Hugs.FRIENDS
ARE LIKE PRECIOUS GEMS -let someone know you think they are a gem.
Friends Greeting More e-mail friendship
cards (this one helps the environment too). Friendship
flower friendship meditation card. If you receive this link from someone
it means they honor your capacity to be considerate and caring. If you
reach out, even a little, you just might be able to meet in the middle