Ok. If you're here, it's because 1)I begged you to come
look at my page or 2)you're really, really lost. Either
way, I suppose I had better do something to keep your
interest soon, or you won't be here at all. What say I
talk about myself?
My name is Helena (As in "The Poet"), and I live in
Southern California (A little pisshole called
Downey,
to be precise). I guess this place isn't all bad...we have
the World's Oldest McDonald's...and
Karen Carpenter lived here...O.k., so it is that bad. By the way, you can
click to your little heart's content and not worry about losing my page (since
I'm sure that's just your greatest fear), because all my links will open a
new window. Now didn't I just think of everything?
I am a writer-- or at least that's what I tell people.
Though I write poetry as a rule, I do like to review a band
once in a while.
My strongest writing influence is probably
Charles
(Hank) Bukowski, because of his general disregard for
everyone and everything. A couple of the magazines I have
been published in are
Grindstone Magazine (the definitive guide to Roots,
Roadhouse, and Rockabilly), F.T.S. (Fuck This Shit) Magazine, Skratch Magazine, and (Sic)
Vice and Verse. I have recently created a small page dedicated to the Readings I Attend and Recommend. I love hearing all kinds of people read their work at new venues
and that wouldn't be possible without the greatest tool
ever afforded to a poet, NEXT... magazine,
which includes an event calendar. Another incredible resource for writers is The Poetry Superhighway, an endless wellspring of information, words, and monkey links. In this same vein, you will find Thee Instagon Foundation , which is "an artist's alliance founded in 1993 to promote a more creative planet". I am currently the featured poet of Thee Instagon foundation, and the five poems found there are not duplicated here on my page, so...go, already!
Another site I highly recommend visiting is that of Mollystongue. The group of five positively dreamy and exceptionally talented musicians is available for booking, and will (if I'm not mistaken) do a provocative little dance for you, as well. I could be wrong about the dancing part, though.
In semi-recent news:
As the result of many
years of watching romantic films, my bohemian fantasy was fulfilled,
and I embarked on a month long visit to France in July of '99.
I spent thirty illustrious days wandering through the picturesque
cobblestone alleys
of Paris, stopping at quaint cafes, dodging the groping hands of
those bastard Parisian men, and navigating around the giant steaming heaps of
dog shit that lined the streets like so much gold. You may now read Paris! Poems and Stories, and experience firsthand (well, ok, more like secondhand) the triumphs and tribulations of this incredible journey.
You can read some of my poetry, and Short Short Stories
or
just sit there and imagine what it might be like. Also, I've
finally given in to temptation and set up some of my
own (very) amateur photography as well as pictures of my
friends, family and...yes, even my cat. Sadly, the last member (cat) is now pictured "in memoriam." Frosty passed away earlier this year, in big fat glory on the garage floor. He is missed, but we have 3 cute kittens now, whose photos will be available soon. I'm sorry, but you're not getting off that easily.
I am working towards a career in Education (teaching English), and am in the process
of transferring to CSULB. Nothing but the best.
Warning! ManRant Dead Ahead!
I'm perpetually single, probably because of my aversion to
assholes. That eliminates most eligible men. It would be
ideal to find someone like me, only they'd have to be a boy. And
someone who isn't trying to pull all that hopeless romantic
crap. You're men! If all the guys who say "I love to take
moonlit walks", were actually out taking those walks, they
wouldn't have any damned room to walk! I dunno.
Maybe I'm wrong; maybe you really do wish on stars and cry
bitterly when you're alone, guys, but I don't really buy
it. Add to that the fact that I'm not really the type
that goes in for all that foo-foo crap (more likely to
start a food fight at a romantic candle light dinner than
to actually be romantic), and you can see how I'm not
exactly your run-of-the-mill girl. Therefore, your
average, run-of-the-mill boy isn't what I'm looking for.
However, for the convenience of those who should try to
acquire the veritable Excalibur of my admiration, I have
included a handy list.
Well, that seems like enough useless information about me. I hope you've
enjoyed my little diatribe...if you feel compelled to
share your thoughts, e-mail me. See if I care.
10 Ways To Really Impress Me
Beat Me at Crazy Eights
Get Vague John Hughes References
Do My Taxes
Hate Baywatch Nymphettes (or at least pretend to)
Know How to Sort Laundry
Stomach My Cooking
Make Me Squirt Coca Cola Through My Nose
Solve A Rubix Cube Without Taking It Apart, Or Just Moving The Stickers Around
