No other man-made device since the shields and lances of the ancient knights fulfills a man’s ego like an automobile.
Your rat tail is all the fashion now. I prefer a bushy plume, carried straight up. You are Siamese and your ancestors lived in trees. Mine lived in palaces. It has been suggested to me that I am a bit of a snob. How true! I prefer to be.
Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want.
Of all God’s creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with a cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat.
One cat in a house is a sign of loneliness, two of barrenness, and three of sodomy.
Persian pussy from over the sea demure and lazy and smug and fat none of your ribbons and bells for me ours is the zest of the alley cat
Of all the thirty-six alternatives, running away is best.
Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.
Comedy is an escape, not from truth but from despair; a narrow escape into faith.
You could read Kant by yourself, if you wanted; but you must share a joke with some one else.
Conversation is the slowest form of human communication.
The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none.
Computer: a million morons working at the speed of light.
Anyone who isn't confused really doesn't understand the situation.
The well-bred contradict other people. The wise contradict themselves.
“I’m very brave generally,” he went on in a low voice: “only today I happen to have a headache.”
A burglar who respects his art always takes his time before taking anything else.
