
Willow: "Use the force, Luke."
Xander: "Do I even have to dignify that with that with a guess?"
Xander: "Well, what else do you want to do? We already played Rock/Paper/Scissors. My hand's cramped up."
Willow: "Well, yes, if you're always scissors, of course your tendons are gonna' get strained."
Willow: "Xander!"
Xander: "Sorry, I can't help myself. Your nose looks so tasty."
Giles: "How was your summer?"
Ms. Calender: "Extreme. I did Burning Man in Black Rock. Oh, such a great festival. They had drum rituals, mobile sculptures, raves, naked mud dances. You would have just--hated it with a fiery passion."
Giles: "Uh, I--I can't imagine finding any redeeming, uh--naked?"
Ms. Calender: "Mmm. And you probably spent all summer with your nose in a book."
Giles: "Yes. I suppose you consider that frightfully dull."
Ms. Calender: "Depends on the book."
Willow: "Giles!"
Xander: "Yo, G-Man! What's up?"
Giles: "Nice to see you, and don't ever call me that."
Buffy: "You're the Watcher, I just work here."
Giles: "Yes. I must consult my books."
Xander: "Oh, 8 minutes and 33 seconds, pay up. I called 10 minutes before you'd consult your books about something. Thank you."
Xander: "Oh, hey, did you guys hear that Cibo Matto's gonna' be at the Bronze tonight?"
Willow: "Cibo Matto? They're playing?"
Xander: "No, Willow, they're gonna' be clog dancing."
Willow: "Cibo Matto can clog dance?! Oh, sarcasm, right."
Cordelia: "Oh, look, it's the Three Musketeers."
Buffy: "Was that an insult?"
Xander: "It kinda' lacked punch."
Willow: "The Three Musketeers were cool."
Cordelia: "I see your point."
Xander: "I would've gone with Three Stooges."
Cordelia: "Well, I just meant that you guys always hang out together. So, did you guys fight any demons this summer?"
Willow: "Uh, yes, our own personal demons."
Xander: "Uh, such as--as--as lust and, um, thrift."
Buffy: "I would have gone with Stooges also."
Cordelia: "What are you guys talking about? I'm talking about big, squiggly demons that come from the ground. Remember? Prom Night? With all the vampires?"
Buffy: "Cordelia, your mouth is open. Sound is coming from it. This is never good."
Cordelia: "Your secret's safe with me."
Buffy: "Well, that works out great. You won't tell people that I'm a Slayer, and I won't tell anyone you're a moron."
Xander: "Now that was a good insult."
Cordelia: "Buffy? You're really campaigning for bitch of the year, aren't you?"
Buffy: "As defending champion, you nervous?"
Cordelia: "I can hold my own. You know, we've never really been close, which is nice, 'cause I don't really like you that much, but..."
Cordelia: "Whatever is causing the Joan Collins 'tude, deal with it. Embrace the pain. Spank your inner moppet. Whatever. But get over it. 'Cause pretty soon you're not even gonna' have the loser friends you've got now."
Willow: "She's possessed!"
Giles: "Possessed?"
Willow: "That's the only explanation that makes any sense. I mean, you should have seen her last night. That wasn't Buffy."
Xander: "Are we overlooking the idea that she may be very attracted to me?"
Willow and Giles: "..."
Xander: "She's possessed."
Giles: "Possessed by what?"
Willow: "A...possessing thing!"
Willow: "Why else would she be acting like such a B-I-T-C-H?"
Giles: "Willow, I think we're a little too old to be spelling things out."
Xander: "A bitca?"
Snyder: "You really have faith in those kids, don't you?"
Giles: "Yes, I do."
Snyder: "Weird."
Buffy: You know, being stalked isn't really a big turn-on for girls."
Buffy: "You're a vampire. Oh, I'm sorry. Is that an offensive term? Should I say 'Undead American'?"
Angel: "I'm not gonna' fight you."
Buffy: "Come on. Kick my ass."
Angel: "We need you to distract the vampires."
Buffy: "Right."
Angel: "What are you gonna' do?"
Buffy: "I'm gonna' kill them all. That ought to distract them."
Giles: "What are you going to do? Crawl inside a cave for the rest of you life?"
Buffy: "Would it have cable?"
Xander: "Well, we could grind our enemies into talcum powder with a sledgehammer, but gosh, we did that last night."
Xander: "Hey, I got a plan! How 'bout miniature golf?"
Willow: "There's no course here."
Xander: "Okay...miniature tennis."
Annointed One: "I hate that girl."