
Buffy: "Okay, a scenario: you back off, I'll back off, but you promise not to go all wiggy until we can go to my Watcher and figure this out."
Kendra: "Wiggy?"
Buffy: "You know. No kick-o, no fight-o."
Giles: "We never met. He's very well-respected."
Buffy: "What? So he's a real guy? As in non-fictional?"
Kendra: "They call me Kendra. I have no last name, sir."
Buffy: "Can you say 'stuck in the 80's'?"
Buffy: "Back off, Pink Ranger! This is my friend."
Kendra: "Friend?"
Buffy: "Yeah, as in person you hang with. Amigo."
Kendra: "I don't understand."
Buffy: "You try. I'm tapped."
Kendra: "But the Slayer must work in secret, for security."
Giles: "Of course, b-b-but with Buffy, however, it's-it's, um, some flexibilities required."
Kendra: "She died?"
Buffy: "Just a little."
Kendra: "I thought you were a vampire."
Buffy: "Oh! A swing and a miss for the rookie."
Kendra: "Did I not see you kissing a vampire?"
Willow: "Buffy would never do that! Oh, except for, the sometimes you do that. But, only with Angel. Right?"
Buffy: "Just trust me on this one, okay? He's on the home team now."
Willy: "What are you gonna' do with him, anyway?"
Spike: "I'm thinkin' maybe dinner and a movie. I don't want to rush into anything. I've been hurt you know."
Kendra: "So I did not kill him."
Buffy: "And I don't need to kill you."
Willy: "Whoa! There's a lot of tension in this room."
Buffy: "Doesn't anyone just say 'Hello' where you come from?"
Kendra: "This one is dirty. I can feel it!"
Buffy: "That's really good for you, Percepto Girl, but we're not gonna' get anything out of him if he's, oh, say, unconscious."
Buffy: "Are you telling me the truth?"
Willy: "I swear on my mother's grave...should something fatal happen to her, God forbid."
Buffy: "I don't take orders. I do things my way."
Kendra: "No wonder you died."
Willy: "I have to ask. Has either of you girls considered modeling? I have a friend with a camera -- strictly high-class nude work. You know, art photographs, but naked. You don't have to answer right away."
Drusilla: "You've been a very bad daddy."
Kendra: "Then we will stop Spike?"
Buffy: "Ooh, good plan! Let's go, charge!"
Giles: "Buffy."
Buffy: "It's a little more complicated than that, John Wayne."
Kendra: "The assassins? I read of them in the writings of Dramius."
Giles: "Oh, really? Which volume?"
Kendra: "I believe it was six, sir."
Buffy: "Um, how do you know all this?"
Kendra: "From my studies."
Buffy: "So, obviously, you have a lot of free time."
Kendra: "I study because it is required. The Slayer Handbook insists on it."
Willow: "There's a Slayer Handbook?"
Buffy: "Wait. Handbook? What handbook?"
Willow: "Is there a t-shirt? 'Cause...that would be cool."
Giles: "After meeting you, Buffy, I realized that the Slayer Handbook would be of no use in your case."
Buffy: "Well, what do you mean it would be of no use in my case? What--what's wrong with my case?"
Buffy: "Hello and welcome to planet Pocket Protector."
Buffy: "Get a load of the She-Giles."
Willow: "Creepy."
Buffy: "Bet Giles wishes I was more a book geek."
Willow: "Giles is enough of a book geek for the both of you."
Buffy: "Maybe after this thing with Spike and the assassins is over, I could say, 'Kendra, you slay. I'm going to Disneyland.'"
Willow: "But...not forever, right?"
Buffy: "No, Disneyland would get boring after a few months."
Xander: "Could you sit down or change your pattern or something? You're making me queasy."
Cordelia: "You should be thinking up a plan."
Xander: "I have a plan. We wait. Buffy saves us."
Cordelia: "How will she even know where to find us?"
Xander: "Cordelia, this is Buffy's house. Odds are, she'll find us."
Cordelia: "He looked normal!"
Xander: "What, does it take an arrow with the word 'Assassin' over his head?"
Cordelia: "I'd rather be worm food than look at your pathetic face."
Xander: "Then go. I'm not stopping you."
Cordelia: "I bet you wouldn't. I bet you'd let a girl go off to doom all by herself."
Xander: "Not just any girl. You're special."
Xander: "We so need to get out of here."
Cordelia: "Uh-huh!"
Buffy: "My tests say I should look into law enforcement, duh, and environmental design."
Willow: "Environmental design, that's landscaping, right?"
Buffy: "I checked the shrub box."
Buffy: "Don't look. That guy over there is totally checking you out."
Willow: "Oh, that's Oz. He's expressing computer nerd solidarity."
Willow: "Hey! Your hair...is brown."
Oz: "Oh yeah, sometimes."
Oz: "I'm not really a computer person, you know. Or a work-of-any-kind person."
Willow: "And, uh, why'd they select you?"
Oz: "Well, I sort of test well, you know, which is cool, except that it leads to jobs."
Willow: "Well don't you have some ambitions?"
Oz: "Oh yeah. E flat diminished ninth."
Willow: "Huh?"
Oz: "Well, the E flat, it's do-able. But it's-it's that diminished ninth, you know. It's a man's chord, and you could lose a finger."
Oz: "Uh, yeah, I'm shot! Ya' know, wow! It's odd...and painful."
Buffy: "You and bug people, Xander. What's up with that?"
Xander: "No, but this dude was completely different than Praying Mantis Lady. He was a man of bugs, not a man who was a bug."
Buffy: "Angel. He's Drusilla's sire."
Xander: "Mmmman, that guy got major neck in his day!"
Willow: "Don't worry, Buffy, we'll save Angel."
Kendra: "Angel? But our priority is to stop Drusilla."
Xander: "Angel's our friend...except I don't like him."
Buffy: "Look, you've got your priorities and I've got mine. Right now, they mesh."
Buffy: "You can attack me. You can send assassins after me. That's fine. But nobody messes with my boyfriend."
Giles: "There are forty-three churches in Sunnydale? That seems a little excessive."
Willow: "It's the extra evil vibe from the Hellmouth. Makes people pray harder."
Kendra: "Did anyone explain to you what secret identity means?"
Buffy: "Nope. Must be in the handbook, right after the chapter on personality removal."
Giles: "Is everything all right?"
Buffy: "Yeah, it's okay. Kendra killed the bad lamp."
Buffy: "When this is over, I'm thinking pineapple pizza and teen video movie fest. Possibly something from the Ringwald ouevre."
Xander: "Oh, here we go. I am the Bug Man, coo-coo ka-choo."
Xander: "Disassembled. That means when he's broken down into his little buggy parts."
Cordelia: "I know what it means...dorkhead!"
Xander: "'Dorkhead'? You slash me with your words!"
Kendra: "You tink he might help us?"
Buffy: "I tink we might make him."
Drusilla: "Say 'uncle'. Oh, that's right. You killed my uncle."
Spike: "I'll see him die soon enough. I've never been much for the pre-show."
Angel: "Too bad. That's what Drusilla likes best, as I recall."
Drusilla: "Shh. Rrruff. Bad dog."
Spike: "Who the hell is this?"
Buffy: "It's your lucky day Spike!"
Kendra: "Two Slayers."
Buffy: "No waiting."
Spike: "I'd rather be fighting you, anyway."
Buffy: "Mutual."
Kendra: "That's me favorite shirt. That's me only shirt!"
Oz: "Oh look, monkey. And he has a little hat, and little pants."
Willow: "Yeah. I see."
Oz: "The monkey's the only cookie animal that gets to wear clothes, you know that? You have the sweetest smile I've ever seen."
Willow: "..."
Oz: "So I'm wonderin', do the other cookie animals feel sort of ripped, like it's the hippo going, 'Hey man, where are my pants? I have my hippo dignity.' And you know the monkey's just, [French accent] 'I mock you with my monkey pants.' And then there's a big coup in the zoo."
Willow: "The monkey is French?"
Oz: "All monkeys are French. Did you know that?"
Willow: "No."
Buffy: "I guess it's something I really can't fight. I'm a freak."
Kendra: "Not the only freak."
Buffy: "Not anymore."