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Buffy: "The school talent show. However did you finagle such a primo assignment?"
Giles: "Our fuhrer, Mister Snyder."
Willow: "I think they call them principals now."

Buffy: "Giles, unto every gerneration is born one who must run the annual talentless show. You cannot escape your destiny."
Giles: "If you had the shred of decency, you would have participated, or at least helped."
Buffy: "Nah! I think I'll take on your traditional role, and watch."
Xander: "And mock."
Willow: "And laugh."

Principal Snyder: "All three of you left campus yesterday."
Buffy: "Yeah, but we were fighting a demon..."
Principal Snyder: "Fighting?"
Buffy: "Not fighting."
Xander: "No, we left to avoid fighting."

Principal Snyder: "I think I've found three eager new participants for the talent show."
Buffy: "What?"
Xander: "No!"
Willow: "Please?"

Xander: "Can I just mention that detention is a time-honored form of punishment."

Willow: "I think dummies are cute. You don't?"
Buffy: "Uhh, they give me the wig. Ever since I was little."
Willow: "What happened?"
Buffy: "I saw a dummy, it gave me the wig. There really wasn't a story there."

Buffy: "What am I gonna' do? Slay vampires on stage?"
Willow: "Maybe in a funy way!"

Buffy: "Okay, Morgan, we get the joke. Horny dummy, ha ha. It's very funny, but you might wanna' consider getting some new schtick, unless you want your prop ending up as a Duraflame log."

Willow: "The creep factor is also heightened. It could be anyone. It could be me!
Xander, Buffy, and Giles: "..."
Willow: "It's not, though."

Cordelia: "All I can think is, it could have been me!"
Xander: "We can dream."

Xander: "Okay, next time we spilt up, someone else is on Cordy detail. Five more monutes with her and we would have had another organ donor."

Xander: "Can I still wear a wire?"

Buffy: "Look, Mom, if you really love me and wanna' show your support, you'll stay away. Far away."

Buffy: "I'm sorry I got you up."
Joyce: "Don't worry about it, I was dreaming about bills."

Cordelia: "My song is about dignity, and human feeling, and personal...hygiene...or something. Anyway, it's sappy, and no one's gonna' be feeling sappy after all that rock and roll!"

Buffy: "I'm not just some crazy person. I'm the Slayer."
Xander: "The Dummy Slayer?"

Xander: "Redrum! Redrum!"

Willow: Once again, I've been banished to the demon section of the card catalog."

Buffy: "Whoever's out there, I'm gonna' hurt you...badly. Just give me a minute."

Cordelia: "I can't go out there. All those people staring at me and judging me like I'm some kind of...Buffy!"

Buffy: "This mean's that whatever's out there still needs a healthy, intellgent brain."
Xander: "In other words, I'm safe."

Willow: "What could a demon possibly want from me?"
Xander: "What's the square root of eight hundred and forty-one?"
Willow: "Twenty-nine. Oh yeah."

Giles: "I must say, all of you, your timing is impeccable."

Principal Snyder: "I don't get it. What is it...Avant Grande?"


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