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CHRISTMAS TURKEY BLUES

(Jessie's note: Poor, poor turkey. Come on guys, have some chicken instead!)

Hey kid, why the long face

Is it cause Santa Claus is

Flying right on over your place

You've been a bad kid all year

So quit your snivellin' sucker

And wipe up them tears

You don't deserve a damn thing

You're not even cute and your attitude stinks

It must suck to be you

Nobody likes you so what can you do

You think you got problems kid,

You think you got strife?

But come each December do you fear for your life?

I'm your turkey baby, so your troubles are small

I'm stuffed on your table, I'm a tasty butterball

I've got the Christmas turkey blues

If you got your necked ripped out then you'd have them too

I've got the Christmas turkey blues

You chase me and waste and baste me

And taste me and drown me in gravy too

You sir, you look like heck

Didn't you get your Christmas bonus cheque

Or maybe your woman left you

Ripped your heart right out of your chest and spat on it too

Is that why you're reeking of gin

You look disheveled and there's drool on your chin

You thought that this love would laugh

But she said Merry Christmas baby and she booted your ass

Well that's tough for you mister, too bad about your ordeal

How about getting stuffed in the wintertime, see how you feel

I don't get to yank no bones or make me a wish

It won't be long til I'm just some scraps on a dish

I've got the Christmas turkey blues

If your butt was stuffed and roasted then you'd have then too

I've got the Christmas turkey blues

You chase me and waste and baste me

And taste me and drown me in gravy too

(*spoken*) Let's take a walk..

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