When I was a kid I wanted to grow up
And be cop in a province town or county
I thought it would be great if
Someday I could only ever be a mountie
I wanted to beat up crooks and make arrests
Because that's part of the profession
But now I sit on my horse and tell
American tourists the Parliament's in session
I really don't look good in red
And my stupid hat flies off my head in every parade
I'm young and strong and have no fear
But now I'm spending my career in motorcades
I wanna enforce the law
I wanna wear normal clothes
I don't wanna have to smile
For diplomats' home videos
I'm good at working real hard
I should have joined the coast guard
Oh no, the RCMP
Is not the life for me
I used to think that a mountie had to be
Honest, loyal, humble, strong and thrifty
But even though we don't break ranks
We get no thanks
They took us off the fifty
(dollar bill)
On Sussex Drive in hallowed halls
We act like guards in shopping malls
It's such a pain
Like someone's plotting the assassination
Of the Minister if Sports and Recreation
Oh that's insane!
Sometimes I just want to puke
On Sergeant Preston of the Yukon
Dudley Do-Right's such a jerk
(Damn you, Snidely!)
And though he tries with all his heart
My horse couldn't catch a golfing cart
Some days I hate to go to work
I wanna enforce the law
I wanna wear normal clothes
I don't wanna have to smile
For diplomats' home videos
I'm good at working real hard
I should have joined the coast guard
Oh no, the RCMP
Is not the life for me
I wanna enforce the law
I wanna wear normal clothes
I don't wanna have to smile
For diplomats' home videos
I'm good at working real hard
I should have joined the coast guard
Oh no, the RCMP
Is not the life for me
Oh no
It's not the life for me
Oh no
It's not the life for me
