(*Jessie's note: This song reminds me of all my ex-boyfriends. They weren't quite as brave as this, but almost.*)
I remember back when I was still in school
This bully always picked on me
Called me a fool
Then he knocked me on the ground
He rubbed dog poop in my ears
He kicked me, he punched me
He said "C'mon and fight you wimp!"
(*spoken* What'd you do?)
I faked I had an injury then I ran away
I ran away yes I ran away
Danger stared me in the face
And I ran away
When I said I tore my ACL
And then I ran away
Playing one day in my backyard
I made the perfect snowball
Round and smooth and hard
I spotted nasty Ted Jablonski
I let fly the perfect snowball
It smashed the neighbour's windsheild
He came out screaming 'Who the hell did that?!'
I pointed at my sister and then I ran away
I ran away yes I ran away
Danger stared me in the face
And I ran away
My sister was grounded for three years and a day
So I said she was adopted and then I ran away
I was walking with my girlfriend one night
Two guys were sitting on a bench
They pointed at her and said
'She's a fat ugly tramp
She smells like peanut butter
She's a loser, she's pedantic
She's a mediocre soccer player'
My girl said 'Make them stop!'
(*spoken* What'd you do?)
I dumped my girlfriend on the spot and I ran away
I ran away yes I ran away
Danger stared me in the face and I ran away
The honour of my woman was on the line that day
So I told my girlfriend I was gay
Then I ran away
I was walking by myself last week
When the Devil himself appeared in front of me
He had fire all around him
He smelled like a burning tire dump
He opened his mouth, pointed at me and said
'Mike, you're next!'
(*spoken* What'd you do?)
I came up to the Devil and
Poked him on the shoulder
I said 'Look over there'
And then I ran away
I ran away yes I ran away
Danger stared me in the face and I ran away
I'm hoping that the Devil
Smokes two packs a day
'Cause my day of reckoning is here and I ran away
I ran away yes I ran away
Danger stared me in the face and I ran away
Whenever I was challenged
I collapsed like a souflee
But I'm still alive to sing this song
'Cause I ran away
