HAVING FUN IS BAD FOR YOU

(Jessie's note: This song is odd. Who drinks Windex? Sorry Worms, but this is not one of my favourites.)

I used to go to all the parties

And make love to all the beautiful ladies

And I'd eat cheeseburgers

With bacon and extra grease when I was hungry

And drink Windex coladas until my skin turned blue

But now, the times they are changing

My lifestyle, it is rearranging

For debauchery may be fun and entertaining

But it is also very bad for you

Do you know how many diseases you can get

Making love to someone who has not had all their tests

So nowadays I am celebate

And I wear a condom in case I have dirty thoughts

I never drive my car past the speed limit

And I alway wear my seatbelt when I am in it

I traded my Lambourghini for a Honda Civic

Because it is more fuel efficient and practical

Ay-ay-ay, ay-ay-oh

Being boring is the way to go

Ay-ay-ay, ay-ay-oh

Having fun is bad for you

I can no longer smoke my cigarettes

Because I found that they are a major cause of death

The tar and nicotine have not killed me yet

But if I got pregnant, it could hurt my baby

I used to love my swarthy complexion

I tanned myself to perfection

But the sun can give you a cancerous infection

So now I am white and pasty

And I never leave the house

I used to eat like there was no tomorrow

(Num num num num num!)

But then I found cholesteral is full of sorrow

The last thing I want to do is to have to borrow

Somebody else's heart because

Mine is full of fatty deposits

Ay-ay-ay, ay-ay-oh

Being boring is the way to go

Ay-ay-ay, ay-ay-oh

Having fun is bad for you