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THE CANADIAN CRISIS SONG

(Jessie's note: The Bob Rae bit is a little out of date now, but the tune's still great! It seems, however, that these days the exchange rate is too awful to shop in the States. Oh well.)

Often on the weekend I'll jump in my car

I won't fill up the tank although I'm going far

And if somebody asks me if I'm going to a bar

I'll say I'm shopping 'cross the border in the USA

I don't go down there to buy my groceries

I respect our farmers and our factories

I don't believe that "local" means it's poor in quality

It's just our goddamn prices are too high

(If he stays away for just two days)

I'll get one hundred dollars duty-free

If it adds to more I won't claim it for

(He won't declare the products if they're in his trunk)

Although it is Canada that I call home

I don't cheer for the Yankees when I'm in the Dome

I didn't swell with pride during the Desert Storm

It's just that I don't want to pay the tax

(It's just that he's too cheap to pay the tax)

(Yes, it's just like this, he's a loyalist)

I'll only shop at malls that fly our flag

(And he'll tell Bob Rae that he just won't pay)

Unless I need my unemployment benefits

(Get a job, get a job, get a job)

Now everyone is doing the same thing as me

They're doing what they can to beat the GST

They're lining up for miles at the Duty-Free

So I bought a JC Penny's store in Buffalo

(So everybody come on down to Buffalo)

(Cause if you stay away for just two days)

You'll get one hundred dollars duty-free

Though it's not at par it'll still go far

And it ends up in the pockets of a country man

(It ends up in the pockets of a country man)

Oh, Canada.

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